The Legend of Clubfoot KC

We had to make some emergency transitions due to our premature staff redundancies.  The situation wasn’t supposed to evolve until 2015 when we had established a suitable base in the Midwest territories, but very few plans unfold according to our timeline.  Life always has a way of imposing its own will on us.

One of our newest acquisitions is being placed in charge of an undetermined AcMo department.  It either doesn’t exist yet, or we haven’t figured out where he’ll function best.  CKC is a person who contains enough enthusiasm to raise the level of everyone around him.  He’s been a friend to AcMo for a long time.  He was once found wandering the streets of downtown Cleveland proclaiming that he was an entrepreneur.  This outburst garnered him the attention of the local mounted police.  He used the opportunity to prove his skills by selling them their horses back to them for a great discount.  That sale was the beginning of his police horse redistribution business.  It was a glorious revenue stream while it lasted.

CKC was one of the catalysts for the creation of AcMo.  We watched him struggle to fit in with his gigantic foot.  It was an uneven and difficult adjustment, but he was successful.  Watching his journey while making fun of him from the sidelines made us feel like our multi-headed conglomerate could become acceptable in the traditional business culture.  We are seeking our spot on the Fortune 10 list, while CKC is still striving to source a car he can drive without breaking the gas pedal.  Yeah, ok, the Aston one wasn't his fault, but all of the others have been.

No one knows the true story surrounding the origin of his clubfoot.  He has never let it slow him down.  We’re all about acceleration here, so we applaud his ability to stay fast.  He had phenomenal breakaway speed before and after the emergence of his clubfoot.  He could kick a soccer ball super far, even farther when using his unfair advantage of a clubfoot.  He was banned from playing in multiple leagues because of his foot.  He once scored on the other team from in front of his own goal.  That’s how powerful his clubfoot can be.

He was born just KC, he didn't get the clubfoot until after a freak accident during a science experiment in primary school.  That is the popular and prevailing version of the story.  I don’t know if it is true because he will neither confirm nor deny when asked.  The way it was explained to me by unnamed sources that were not authorized to discuss the matter, is that some chemicals being used in the experiment spilled onto his shoes.  This was either intentional or a fateful accident.  Because the reaction wasn't instantaneous, KC forgot about it until his shoe melted that weekend.  The problem was that the reaction caused his DNA to merge with the shoe's, and to swell his foot to uncomfortable levels.

The factor that prevented this story from becoming a heartbreaking tragedy was that he was wearing an Air Jordan on his right foot when it happened.  Could you imagine the difficulty he would have had if his foot had fused with a Master P sneaker?  I doubt even Russia would accept him then.  To this day, the swelling hasn't subsided.  This is not as dire as it sounds.  CKC has full control of that foot, and has even shown impressive new skills as a result of the accident.

It has been demonstrated that the chemicals created a super adhesive bond in the tread of his shoe that allows him to stick to vertical surfaces with his clubfoot.  He hasn’t mastered vertical locomotion yet because his other foot doesn’t have the same stickiness.  Because the chemicals involved in the original transformation are unknown, I have been unable to replicate the experience to expand his left foot.  The research department is working hard to enhance his other foot to give him equilibrium.

We don’t know how CKC fits into the AcMo puzzle, but we know a man with his unique foot and breakaway speed has a place in this organization.  He probably could have used his gigantic foot to stamp out Compensation Package long before the siege had occurred.  I’m certain he can kill even puppy-sized spiders with his foot.  I may nominate him to head our proposed spider hunter division.  I bet his skillset would allow him to excel there.

His origin story isn’t as extreme as some others, but he is still an unsung superhero.  We hope he will be able to work alongside our newly created Magneto.  If nothing else, my friend who believes she is owed a cherry pie thinks he’s cute, so he has that going for him.

Give CKC a wide berth if you see him running down your street.  He is fast and nimble and his foot is strong enough to break bones if you get caught underneath it.  He once stepped on a Mini and collapsed the engine.  This is one of the many reasons why we are unable to bring him on as a test driver.