AcMo Memory Wipes®

There are times when the AcMo staff may seem disoriented.  It isn’t because they are incompetent.  Incompetence has its own special set of identifiers around here.  Faxing confidential employee records when it was supposed to be an emailed tire order is not unfamiliar to AcMo personnel.  Our disorientation is a result of covert involuntary testing we do whenever possible.  Employee testing has accelerated most of our greatest breakthroughs.  We would be in the dark ages if not for our sizable roster of test subjects.  The AcMo Memory Wipes® would have never been able to survive the initial development rounds without the employees.

The wipes were developed to erase doubt.  It fills the eyes of some of our best employees and VIP clients.  I’m sick of dealing with it, and I wanted a permanent solution.  I had hoped the AcMo Memory Wipe was that solution.  The plan was great, as they always are, and it looked like an achievable goal.  We devoted a lot of resources to making the plan a success.  This was another lesson I learned the hard way because some plans aren’t capable of succeeding no matter how hard you want them to, or how hard you try.

We had attempted to create individuals who believed they were designed to succeed.  Sometimes our creations exceed our wildest expectations.  It is rare for AcMo to have a defective product.  Most of our customer issues are the fault of having defective customers.  The product was the problem in this instance because it worked too well.  Doubt was erased, but so was everything else.  We had created quasi-zombies.  It is so time consuming to attempt to rebuild someone's personality from scratch.  I know what everyone is thinking, "Why didn't they backup before using the memory wipes?"  That is a great question, and we do implement a regular and comprehensive backup strategy, but brain backups are difficult to get right, and you can’t tell the backup is hosed until you try to re-install it.

We had to abandon our brain data backups when we accidentally reinstalled the wrong backup into a test subject.  The results would have been hilarious if not for the fact that we had ruined someone's life.  The wipes can only be used so many times before permanent brain damage occurs.  We are still trying to pin down that number.  It appears to be between four and ten.

Everyone's brain needs an occasional memory cleanup to restore proper working order.  Our proven sanitary memory wipes will clear incomplete or troubling memories while also moisturizing the skin.  You won’t remember what happened, but you’ll know your skin looks good.  I desperately need one after the weekend I had, but I fear that it will leave me unable to remember my to-do list and the location of all of our bases.

Use the memory wipes responsibly and with extreme care.