BREAKING: Scuderia AcMo F-ONE is Coming!

I just received a communiqué from a Mr. E. about some F1 business.  He has reviewed our entry and approves.  He wants us to join the grid.  He also mentioned that Marussia and Caterham might be participating in the final race weekend.  It appears we will have to adjust our takeover plans.  He said we just need to wire the non-refundable entry fee and we can have as many entries as we want.  Snob and I discussed it, and we both agreed that one team to start is the smartest decision.

The series is operating at a distinct technological disadvantage since it won’t accept payment in Bitcoin or AcMo Dollars.  This refusal puts us in a delicate position because of the Omnicron Corp. situation.  They still have my money, and I have been too busy to go over there and reclaim our unclaimed funds.  I am not sure what Snob is going to decide, but I think we should use the excess material from building the car to make money to use to pay the entry fee.  Doing that would allow us to prevent wasting the left over material and it gets recycled in a useful (to us) manner instead of being burned in the dumpster.

We've spent our time learning in the junior formulas, most of that being spent in F0 where we were consistent front-runners and championship contenders in every round.  We missed out on winning both the driver and manufacturer's trophies due to a technical infraction that we appealed.

Mr. E. must have been following our impressive progress in that series and saw our team as a perfect fit for the big series, or none of the usual suspects felt like turning their large fortunes into small ones via grand prix racing.  We’re not concerned about shrinking our fortunes.

There is a lot of work that needs to happen before we can make the jump.  We are going to need a whole new marketing package that befits the status of this illustrious category of racing.  We will also need a new motorsports logo, uniforms, and a few new computers.  This is going to be difficult, but we are excited for the challenge and we will be giving it our best efforts.  We have also been lobbying the sanctioning body to allow the use of our TGE™ on all of our competitors' cars.  That should give us the advantage in reliability that we'll need to get to the front of the grid.  It's even better if we're the only team able to finish races.  We can blame any breakdowns on our supplier.

I am thrilled to have received word this morning that Snob worked through the night to finish the team’s first car.  He used his years in exile to improve his acceleration and cruising speed.  I thought he was the same person who tried to betray me years ago, but I see now that he is different.

The kit arrived with unknown manufacturer and sponsor logos embedded.  We will obviously be painting the car a different color so it won’t be confused with other back markers, and the team will be adding our own sponsors to it after the glue has dried.  All of that should occur well before the first test session.  This photo is just for illustrative purposes so Snob can receive the recognition he deserves.  He did not explain why the steering wheel is under the nose instead of inside the cockpit, but I’m sure his fax has some clues as to how that might have happened.

The steering wheel location is our secret weapon.

He said the car is wonderful.  I am worried that he has inhaled too much glue vapor though.  His fax contained a few cryptic sentences.  I’m still not sure what it means.  “…Take them rhymes back to the factory.  I see the gimmicks, the whack lyrics, it’s depressing…Chassis complete.  Driver signed.  Glue vapors overwhelming.  Send clean air.”

He did not fax pics of this new rhyme factory or the location, and because he sent an eFax, I don’t even have the fax number.  He is doing a good job of keeping this operation a secret.  That may prove beneficial in the near future.  Oh, I called the glue vapor issue last paragraph.  I am good.

Please meet our first signed driver, Johnny Jamz.  Johnny is tasked with keeping our dreams alive.  We need a test, reserve, and second race driver for the team, so we are looking at every option.  There are potentially 6 other drivers available who are all willing to drive for free.  Two of them are former world champions.  We are evaluating each of them and we may sign them all just to be safe.  There is a chance that Johnny and the car could melt under the intense heat of the series.  We need to be prepared.

Driver extraordinaire JJ on the job.  Helmet hair is a thing of the past.

 He doesn’t just have the kind of smile sponsors love to buy with real dollars; he has the will to win and the feet to stick onto the pedals.  In fact, he can’t even get himself out of the car once he clicks into it.  That’s how dedicated to the cause he is.

Sometimes you have to jump before the landing is available and take action on the way. Our plans were accelerated faster than we anticipated, and we're all about accelerating so we are embracing this radical move.  We are on the cusp of entering the world’s greatest automotive racing series that doesn’t know how to run itself.  It almost seems as if we were built for this.