The Opportunity

The triumphant unveiling of the gen 2 AcMo TDCS was supposed to happen today.  That will have to wait because a surprise (the good kind) preempted the schedule.  Two independent parties who are not employed by the group and are not authorized to speak on the matter have verified the information I’m about to reveal.

The problem with opportunity knocking is that it doesn’t have a unique knock.  It is impossible to differentiate opportunity from a prospective burglar who is confirming the building is vacant, or the UPS delivery person who tends to knock and run, or an unwanted and uninvited guest.  They all have the same knock.  It is also difficult to determine for whom the knock is intended.  Opportunity doesn’t carry two separate forms of identification and will on occasion ask for your password and alarm codes.  Fool me four times…that’s why I almost didn’t catch this amazing opportunity that popped up today.  It seemed just like every other unwanted disturbance AcMo receives.

The amount of junk mail that clogs our intakes is ridiculous.  I may have just won a Kia, or received an exclusive credit card offer, or been invited to a free steak dinner as long as I promise to listen to a financial planner speak while I’m trying to eat.  I get enough of that nonsense at AcMo, so there’s no way I’m willing to subject myself to more during my dinner break.  Besides, steak dinners are never free.  I learned that lesson the hard way.  That’s why I don’t eat steak any longer.

The research department alerted me to breaking news just after it had broken.  Research claimed that the intel had to be verified before being sent to me.  This is standard cover for the research department because I put on my AcMo Rage Hat® and throw a demolition party when I’m fed bad research.  The unnamed, unauthorized, unaffiliated parties mentioned above were kind enough to take time out of their days to corroborate the rumors.  This type of information gathering takes time.  We like to make sure we have complete legal coverage before stating something as Internet fact.

The unbelievable news is that Ferrari is considering moving to London.  I know from my failed field experiment trying to switch AcMo’s HQ1 with Omnicron Corp.’s building that it is not possible to move a physical building.  This means Ferrari’s factory will not be moving to London with the personnel, and that we could have an operational car manufacturing facility with our own private test track in Italy before the end of Q2 2015.  Snob Duben could ditch the plastic cars he’s been gluing together the last few weeks and build actual F1 cars.  The cars won’t be any faster, but he’ll have a much easier time getting FIA certification.  Such an opportunity would mean the end of our contract with Johnny Jamz, and someone else could work out how to get him down from the ceiling.  Please don’t tell him until after we’ve faxed him his termination letter.  That is the respectful way to conduct business.  We want to keep the relationship professional.

Monumental isn’t quite a big enough word to encompass the world that could be unlocked by our move to Italy.  It would create a legitimate financial structure to allow AcMo to get paid even more for driving client vehicles.  We would call it validation testing and none of our clients could get upset about it.  We would have access to unlimited spares when we crash during validation testing as well, which we could also charge to our new clients.  The numbers of potential new revenue streams available are beyond what I can fathom.

The only possible downside to this whole deal is that no one has been able to confirm that Ferrari’s wind tunnel has been recalibrated.  Based on the results of the F1 team this past season, my guess is that it is still malfunctioning.  Without an accurate wind tunnel, it will be impossible for us to create functional aerodynamic body parts.  That alone would sink any hopes of moving up to mid-pack with our F1 team, and might make our road cars too dangerous to drive at high speeds.  We will need even more validation testing to confirm, which would require selling our cars at even higher prices to cover the testing expenses.  It never ends.

I suspect that AcMo can negotiate a great deal on the soon to be vacant factory as long as we promise to never leave Italy and to employ thousands of people.  That shouldn’t even be an issue based on the amount of test drivers we’ve lost throughout the year.

I’m so excited for this potential leap for AcMo’s development in the automotive world.  This was always part of the 5-year plan, but I didn’t think it would happen so soon.  This has for sure been one time I’m glad I opened the door for opportunity.  I just hope this doesn’t turn out like last time when we lost our fire manufacturing facility to a building fire.  That was a hard blow from which we are still trying to recover.  Taking control of the Ferrari factory might just be the panacea we need.