EZ Bake Oven: Hot or Not?

Accelerated Momentum's bottom line is in a constant state of free fall--we had to melt our golden parachutes to bolster the emergency fund.   Most sensible entrepreneurs would have pivoted the business six times by now, but I know it will turn around soon.  Plus, I am far from sensible.  I have a vision that must be achieved.  The fuel for that vision is scarce, so I am always looking for creative ways to increase AcMo's product lines, and I think I discovered a winner a few weeks ago.

I scored a sick deal on six EZ Bake ovens off of a website.  I don't want everyone knowing about my secret deal site, so I won't disclose the url.  While you don't have my business acumen, or intelligence, I can't risk more competitors in a crowded market space.  I also may need to buy more ovens, and I can't have the aggravation and distraction resulting from pop-up competitors disrupting my supply chain while I'm building capital to augment my purchasing power.

The how, why, where, and when are still secret, but I can share a little about my empire building endeavor.  I am opening a dossant™ bakery--location near you coming soon!  I plan to use the ovens to reduce my overhead and equipment costs.  The cost savings I'm going to realize will allow me to blow all of my money on marketing packages.  A dossant™ is my proprietary, and never before attempted, health-conscious, gluten-free blend of a donut and a croissant, heated to perfection in my special EZ bake ovens--hopefully.  The foundation of my business plan rests on these ovens.  I desperately need to know if these things get hot or not.  I can't figure it out.  The ovens I purchased haven't arrived yet.  I know that the manuals aren't included, and I can't find anything online.  I have also searched other sources for hours.  The seller indicated that the ovens were hot, which is why they were being sold at such a great price, but will not share temperature ranges.  I made a few calls to people in the industry--including executives at a well known toy store, but no one would state actual operating temperature ranges for the ovens.

I have already modified a dozen Raspberry Pi Model Bs coupled with Camera Modules (for security purposes) to operate the ovens remotely so I can travel and bake at the same time.  Since the process will be automated, I will be a job creator through adding sales associates to slang my dossants™on an unsuspecting public.  I'll have people set up on every street corner within two years.  I am confident that I will be able to persuade law enforcement professionals to get involved as well.  I can't share any additional information on my operation as it will leave me vulnerable to my competitors.  I've already had someone from Dunkin' Donuts following me the past two weeks, and the plan will go sideways if those jokers over at Krispy Kreme find out about this too.

I am putting out this plea for assistance now because I am about to leave the country on an extended trip.  I have sent numerous emails to every customer service address I could find for assistance, but no one has responded.  This experience brings me to a pro tip:  every successful business must be customer-centric to succeed.  Ignore your customers at your peril.  As a result of this brush off, I will not be purchasing additional ovens from my source to expand my bakery.  The ovens en route still need to be vetted.  So if anyone can help with that, you can have a free dossant™every day for a year if you provide the correct answer.

UPDATE:  It turns out I am a victim of an undiagnosed inability to pay attention to details.  I reviewed the paperwork that arrived in advance of my ovens, and I realized I had made a grave miscalculation.  The Easy Bake Oven does indeed get hot, but the EZ Bake Ovens I purchased are counterfeit products that don't even have heating elements.  A small spelling mistake crushed my dream and turned it into a nightmare.  At least I still own the rights to the dossant™, which should give me time to recover, reorganize, and scrape together some capital to purchase legitimate Easy Bake Ovens this time.

Every failure is a learning opportunity, so I guess this is a good moment to share more pro tips.  Read the fine print more than once before clicking "Buy," and enable the parental controls for online browsing.  Either or both of those actions would have prevented me from making a $200,000 mistake.  Oh yeah, if anyone needs six EZ Bake Ovens (non-heating), I'm your huckleberry.