A New Approach to Business Success Through Proven Routines

I didn't learn this from my business books, or from watching CEOs on television.  This is something I am proud to say I created on my own without any outside assistance.  I've always been a manager.  Ever since I was a child, I managed my parent's time by consuming all of it, I managed my daily chores by not doing them, and I managed to build AcMo by accident.  All of this expertise and institutional knowledge has caused my management style to evolve from the very first lessons I can remember.  I rule AcMo with the memory of the glory days of preschool at the forefront of my decision-making process.  Preschool was the only time it was OK to sleep on the floor in the middle of the day, and punching a girl you liked was standard practice.  Performing either or both of those two acts at a traditional company today will get you removed from the building.  I need to point out here that fraternization between AcMo employees is forbidden.

A solid routine and establishing positive habits are paramount to repeatable successes.  Instead of removing training that's been ingrained since childhood, I do the opposite and maximize it.  I want all of my employees to reach their full potential so that they can build my empire for me.  That saves me from possible injury or fatigue induced mental errors.

The biggest headache at AcMo--besides legal's constant warnings--is the desk engineer staff.  They think they are always right, and they won't fix anything if it isn't requested in writing first.  I dislike dealing with them, but I don't have any choice.  If one of the desk engineers is cranky--this is frequent, I institute either nap time or a timeout, depending on a number of factors such as:  time of day, proximity to snack time or lunch, that specific engineer's attitude and current production quality, and whether or not I'm feeling dictatorial. I've been known to snatch workstations from bad characters and force them to work with pencil and paper. This may be one of the reasons our calculations sometimes don't make sense. 

I find that all of the employees are more creative after recess, so all of our brainstorming sessions follow both mandatory recess periods during the day. This is how we're able to innovate at a pace other companies can't fathom.  We're not just a name, we accelerate everything we do.

AcMo has a dedicated quiet time when all devices must be switched off, not just put in airplane mode.  The work we're doing here is far more sensitive than aircraft electronics, so I can't take any chances with our safety. I also suspect the electromagnetic interference impacts the quality of each nap time. Between recess and nap time, AcMo's staff operates at maximum creative capacity. This is how we stay ahead of our bigger and more established competitors. 

I don't assign homework in the traditional sense. When employees leave the AcMo office, their only assignment is to figure out how soon they can return to get back to work. Empires don't build themselves, and they don't function with lazy employees. The smartest employees are the ones who live at AcMo. They also rise the highest within the organization because they know how to brown nose the best. I'm a sucker for praise, even when it may not be sincere. 

All options are possible at AcMo.  The more the diverse the better, so that's why I've been looking into the build process of the pyramids to see what methods I can adopt for AcMo. I sent a team to loot raid inspect the pyramids for answers. If I can discover which aliens provided the blueprints and building expertise, and how the pharaohs contacted them, I may have an unfair advantage over my competitors. I've seen multiple references to something called a stargate, but that feels like a false lead to me. It's maddening that they couldn't have just left a business card at the base of a pyramid with all of their relevant contact info.  LinkedIn should consider expanding into contacts not on Earth.  I need to build my professional network in that direction, and I'm having trouble getting there. 

When our designs and products jump several generations ahead of anything in the marketplace, you'll know we succeeded in unlocking the mystery. Any knowledge gained during that endeavor will have a further benefit to another concurrent project that involves long-range communications.  Info on that project will have to wait for another day.  I still have not captured our mole even though the plan is progressing as I had hoped.

There has also been recent contact with some influential people in an area of motorsport that it is important to AcMo's core business.  While I can't report anything substantial at the moment, this could turn into a lucrative deal.