AcMo Intergalactic Transport Systems

This announcement was supposed to herald the culmination of Innovation Week.  We had to delay the release, but I can't hold it any longer. We're all too excited. Today is the day AcMo announces its most ambitious project.  The stakes are a little bit higher, and we've failed at every level, but we are confident this will be different.  A frequent question asked around our hallowed offices is, "what's the worst that could happen?"  So far we've only lost one building, and twenty kittens as an answer to that question.

This is a multi-phase, mind-blowing, and amazing project with a scope far beyond what a normal person can comprehend. We are going to send Fred into space. That's phase one.  Phase two involves his safe return from orbit which will also make him the fastest bird EVER, if he survives and the flight goes according to plan.  We are having such a hard time getting Fred to fly on Earth that we decided to remove gravity from the equation which should alleviate all of our issues.  Phase three is our intergalactic cruiser.  Pretend you didn't see the part about our intergalactic cruiser.  That isn't ready for public distribution yet.  We have been utilizing the data from our work with Fred to build a ship capable of piloting us to the farthest reaches of the universe.  We have a unique build process in that we wait for DARPA to create something we need for our ship, and then we "borrow" it.  If we can't get the exact part or system, we reverse engineer it.  That's only been a problem once, and that was with the test firing of the rail gun.  We were able to clear out the rubble where the building we had painted the target on had once stood before anyone noticed, and the burns to the engineers were minor even though they looked horrific.

Enough about workplace mishaps since I think OSHA may be watching AcMo closer than I would like.  This space thing is an untapped market where there are only a handful of competitors, and none of them are as serious or dedicated as we are.  I just hope that my rocket scientists know a bunch of stuff about space travel that the NASA and JPL people don't.  Both organizations have  been critical of our message ever since we decided to let them know what we were planning.  I think they are miffed because they didn't think of this before us, and now they can't get ahead of us.  If they announce a similar project now, everyone will know they are copying AcMo.

We are so excited about this that we have decided to outfit Fred with multiple GoPros to capture his voyage.  This last specification change requires modifications to his flight suit, and we also have to engineer housings that can withstand reentry since GoPro doesn't offer anything that durable.  They laughed in our general direction when we inquired about accessories dedicated for space travel.  That was in an email, so imagine how difficult it is to convey laughter, scorn, contempt, and ridicule all in one sentence. Somehow they succeeded.

They won't be laughing when we're streaming the first ever peregrine falcon space flight.  They'll wish they had provided the free cameras, uprated housings, and $600 million dollars we had requested in our email.  The publicity alone from the trip would have paid for all of that.  Their loss is my gain.  I was able to move some shells around and find the exact dollar amount we were seeking underneath a couple of them.

The only wildcard in this whole deal is Fred.  He's been refusing to fly lately.  Perhaps he knows where he's about to go and isn't comfortable flying that far.  Who can tell with him? It also might have something to do with the fact that he discovered we approached Sonic to be our mascot before Fred crashed through  the window.  Sonic is fast too, so Fred is going to have to learn to let that go. We can be patient. It's in his nature to be in the sky, so he will eventually succumb and take flight. He better. AcMo's future rests on his wings and new CF flight suit. We spent a lot of development dollars on improving his speed.  There will be blood if that investment doesn't turn into a thick government contract.

Some may wonder why we would attempt a project this ambitious when we haven't yet managed to get Fred to fly more than ten feet with his new twin turbos before crashing.  We wondered that too, but then we decided that if we aren't going to go big it isn't worth our time.  There's nothing bigger than putting a bird into space.  At least not until we do it.  Then we'll work on getting Fred to the moon.

Fred is about to replace that anonymous bald eagle as the symbol for America.  Peregrine falcon Fred for the win!  Wish us luck.