Be Good With Your Grass

A friend of mine tells her daughters to be good with their grass. It's a different way of saying the grass is always greener that I had not heard anyone else use. I liked it so much that I had to appropriate it for AcMo purposes.  I don't even like grass.  What does it even do?  It serves no functional purpose, and I haven't figured out a way to make a revenue stream from it yet.  I am reminded of this every time I catch myself staring at Omnicron Corporation's massive tower just across the street from AcMo HQ 1.  Sometimes I wish that our business ran as well as it appears Omnicron's does.  I see people shuffling into and out of the building on a set schedule every day of the week, twice on Sundays.  Most of the people at AcMo only march out of the building, never to return.  I believe they just get lost.

Even after going deep inside Omnicron Corp for a bit, I still have no idea what goes on in that building, and believe me, I've been trying to learn the truth.  It was difficult for me to take a lot of notes while I was trying to sneak out, and that was quite the adventure.  It's too bad I forgot to charge my GoPro before I made my daring escape from Compensation Package's lethal reign.  I could have shutdown Youtube with the hits that video would have received.  Oh well, it wouldn't have been as in-depth as it needed to be because I was late for my flight that was taking me to the most important breakfast meeting of my life.  You need not concern yourself about what transpired at this meeting.  Just know that it was important.  Since breakfast is considered the most important meal of the day, and meetings are important, how can a breakfast meeting not be the most important type of meeting in existence?  It all adds up to me.

I am certain Omnicron has all of the missing pieces to complete many of our failed projects.  I'm beginning to suspect that Omnicron is the reason many of our projects fail.  I am going to begin flying some of the Amazon delivery drones inside the building to try to get a better look.  No one even knows I managed to create an override so I could hijack their drones.  The idea came to me while I was watching 24.  I studied the plans from the show for a few hours before I created my own device.  I may have also hijacked a few military drones, but I can't be sure if they fired because I was pressing random buttons, or there was an actual target.  

When I'm able to force my thoughts back to operations at home, I start to wonder if grass plays a clever trick on our eyes, and if it really is greener on the other side. It could be a clever trick by the grass to make you jealous, but the truth is that the grass is just as green on both sides of a blade, but because of the viewing angle, it makes the far side look brighter and more full.  Does that sound like a crazy theory?  Shut up.  I don't want to hear it.  Who asked you anyway?

In our case, I've taken detailed samples for research purposes.  I need to solve this mystery before I can get back to important AcMo business.  I had the landscape engineers plant some of Omnicron's grass on our property without telling them where the grass originated, but it is still brighter on their side.

The standard observation period for something of this precise nature is about three weeks.  Most of you have never watched grass grow, but I can tell you that it is less interesting than watching paint dry.  At least with paint you get that nice aroma, and it's so much fun to put fingerprints in it while it is drying.  The grass just doesn't have the same entertainment factor.  I wouldn't even have been able to tell it was growing if not for our AcMo laser lawn alignment tool.

The best part about the tool is that it can be reconfigured to work as an active security perimeter and can fry anything that crosses through its beams.  This is one of the reasons why we needed Omnicron's grass.  Somehow the tool was set to burn instead of lawn measurement when I activated the lasers.  The grass that didn't disintegrate turned a dark shade of brown and now refuses to grow.

It isn't just the mystery of the grass that I need to unlock.  I need to understand how Omnicron engineered it so I can use that technology to further develop our cloaking devices.  If I could perfect the cloaking device, I would be able to sneak into Omnicron without being detected.  Once in there, I can hack their mainframes and discover their ultimate plan and their organizational structure.

Don't worry, I have a plan in mind to force the grass to do my bidding.  It starts with the complete reconstruction of Omnicron's building on our property.  I will do this one small piece at a time so that by the time I'm finished, AcMo employees will be inside Omnicron.  I have a lot of work to do and very little time to complete it.