Mind Control

I saw an ad in a YouTube video about a book on mind control.  I got excited when I considered the possibilities.  I also jumped to the conclusion that someone had written a book about the skills necessary to control other people’s minds.  I was quite dismayed to learn that it was about controlling your own mind.  How stupid is that?  Everyone knows our own minds are out of control and can’t be contained by normal measures.  That is a fool’s errand if I’ve ever heard of one.

My initial reaction to the title caused me to ponder a new revenue stream.  This could be the revenue stream to end all revenue streams.  In fact, we may drop all of our other enterprises to focus every resource we have on developing a workable solution for mind control (of other people’s minds).  AcMo Mind Control may be arriving soon.  A breakthrough in mind control tech could open the world to us.

We will skip right past this virtual reality and augmented reality nonsense, and go straight to implanting experiences into your mind.  Ski the Alps without leaving the comfort of your favorite couch, sky dive off the Eiffel tower without getting arrested, drive all of the best race tracks in a single day in any car you desire.  It’s all possible.  Wait, maybe I have this concept wrong again.  I keep slipping on this.

OK, I had to do some quick reading to figure out what it was I hoped to derive from the program.  It looks like we will be expanding on the testing done by the group who handled the MK Ultra program, except we won't require the use of psychedelic drugs.  We would have everyone in the world buying our products if we could control their minds.  We could also get more people to read, but not while driving, and stay out of the left lane on the highway unless they are passing.  Just clearing the left lane can reduce our commute by several minutes each way.  I am salivating at the thought of a clear left lane and an unrestricted highway.  Oh, yeah, that won't be available to all of you, it's just for us because we'll be using our mind control to encourage the highway patrol officers to provide us high speed vehicle escorts.  We will be able to expand our vehicle performance and durability testing as a result.

It might be even better to just get people to hand us their money without selling anything in return.  That would be the ideal scenario and it would give me the opportunity to make our entire workforce redundant.  If I can make someone else maintain the AcMo blog, and develop new products, I could make myself redundant.  That would be a double win for AcMo and by extension myself.  Again, I must stress that this information cannot be shared with my employees.  I can’t afford to have a mutiny before I’m capable of group mind control to quell the insurrection.

I have already begun testing on my assistant to see how this concept can work.  It has not been going well, but I am hopeful that we can make something happen.  In fact, I am having a great deal of trouble getting my assistant to do the duties that are part of the job description.  It is so hard to find obedient and loyal workers these days.  Perhaps I could also look into creating a hiring program that guarantees quality employees.  That will have to be a project for another time because this mind control thing is too important to delay.

We are going to need to hire a few neurologists and psychologists so we can figure out how the brain works.  I am excellent at taking things apart, but not so great at reassembling them.  I don't want to be in the middle of a brain deconstruction without having the skills required to put it back together.  That could cause a lot of problems.  I would be surprised if it took more than a couple of days to assemble the proper team to make this venture a success.

The only aspect of mind control I’ve been able to accomplish so far is to force a couple hapless individuals to read this blog.  If I can make mind control communicable, millions of people would be accessible for controlling via the power of the Internet and that would open all of the revenue streams in existence to AcMo.  I look forward to that day.