Most of the time my brain functions like an out of control fire hose with thoughts spraying everywhere faster than I can record them. The neurologists have all told me this isn't normal, but there's nothing any of them can do to stop the leakage. None of the procedures I've found that claim to rectify this problem are approved in the US. I have considered going elsewhere for service, but I'm afraid if something goes wrong, I won't remember how to make it home.
There are rare occasions, like today, when I don't have any thoughts. The gate holding back my creative forces shut itself and then attached a padlock, something the neurologists all told me was impossible given my condition. I think they called it incurable creativitis. I've accepted that as my fate. I can live with it, but the difficult part is that I can't find the combination to the lock. My default code is 0000, but I keep getting "access denied" errors with that one. I think I saw an error message that indicated a full system wipe would occur after four more failed unlock attempts. This feels just like all of those times I've been trapped in a bad dream from which I can't awake. They all end the same way with me falling out of bed, screaming all the way down to the floor. Not that it is any of your business, but in case you were wondering, I keep my bed raised several feet in the air to prevent the ground dwelling wild animals from reaching me.
I called a few locksmiths to see if any of them could help, but it appears they don't have the kind of expertise or tools I need for this job. It turns out I need a mental locksmith to pick a virtual lock which requires specialized knowledge and tools. I have considered using the cordless drill to get in there, but I don't think I can get it clean enough to avoid the risk of infection. I'm also not certain where to begin and end drilling. I've heard too many horror stories regarding botched lobotomies to risk it. Although, with my fountain of wisdom water I could probably bounce back to genius level or beyond after an accidental lobotomy.
The most prudent course of action became the most frightening. I decided I had to delve deep into my mind and pick the lock myself. I prepared a written list of every possible combination to try and then narrowed that down to the three most likely. Creating new revenue streams isn't more important than retaining my vast knowledge, but I learn while I create, so I had to do something. Even though I make backups on a regular schedule, rebuilding my brain from a full wipe is a real pain. I do not recommend it.
I traveled to my happy place to try to sort this mess and get back on track. While there I ran into some old friends who were vacationing. I was a bit alarmed to discover that people had been renting rooms in my happy place without my knowledge or consent. There should be laws protecting one's brain from uninvited squatters. I think I will write my local legislators to get that process started. I'm sure they aren't busy doing anything else. Upon further investigation, I have determined that I was in the wrong happy place. Please allow me to offer my sincere apologies for the misunderstanding. The police do this kind of thing all of the time. At least I didn't destroy any property in the process of breaching the establishment.
I traveled to my happy place to try to sort this mess and get back on track. While there I ran into some old friends who were vacationing. I was a bit alarmed to discover that people had been renting rooms in my happy place without my knowledge or consent. There should be laws protecting one's brain from uninvited squatters. I think I will write my local legislators to get that process started. I'm sure they aren't busy doing anything else. Upon further investigation, I have determined that I was in the wrong happy place. Please allow me to offer my sincere apologies for the misunderstanding. The police do this kind of thing all of the time. At least I didn't destroy any property in the process of breaching the establishment.
The exact location and description of my happy place needs to remain confidential because I can't have uninvited guests lurking there waiting for me. Who knows what foul things they might do to my mind? I will tell you that there was plenty of sun, water, and hummingbirds. The hummingbirds are marvels and are super fun to watch fly around, especially since I can view them in slow motion. That allows me to study their flight mechanics and attempt to glean useful data to transfer between them and Fred. Anything we can do to make Fred more maneuverable is going to help when he gets into orbit.
When I let my mind wander and latch onto random thoughts, the code came to me. It was 1234. I found it scribbled on a cardboard box that housed the 4K TV (who cares if there's almost no content available in 4K?) that was shipped to my happy place. I must have left that for myself the last time I was there. I have to change all of my security codes now since I've published my go to code. Since we still have an unresolved information leak, all security protocols must be enforced at a much higher level than normal.
Now that my thoughts are free to roam again, it is quite unfortunate that I must report that I have nothing to share. Life can mess with you that way sometimes. It isn't that I'm out of ideas, it's just that the floodgates opened, and there was nothing waiting behind them. Perhaps the lock was my own mind's safety mechanism to keep me from falling into despair while it generated new ideas that would lead to new revenue streams. I need to learn to pay more attention to what my mind is telling me, but it is so hard to interpret its signals.
When I let my mind wander and latch onto random thoughts, the code came to me. It was 1234. I found it scribbled on a cardboard box that housed the 4K TV (who cares if there's almost no content available in 4K?) that was shipped to my happy place. I must have left that for myself the last time I was there. I have to change all of my security codes now since I've published my go to code. Since we still have an unresolved information leak, all security protocols must be enforced at a much higher level than normal.
Now that my thoughts are free to roam again, it is quite unfortunate that I must report that I have nothing to share. Life can mess with you that way sometimes. It isn't that I'm out of ideas, it's just that the floodgates opened, and there was nothing waiting behind them. Perhaps the lock was my own mind's safety mechanism to keep me from falling into despair while it generated new ideas that would lead to new revenue streams. I need to learn to pay more attention to what my mind is telling me, but it is so hard to interpret its signals.
While my mind works hard to replenish my new idea flow, I would like to point out that this can happen to you as well. For those who don't consider yourselves creative, it might be because you've never been able to pick your own mental lock. Maybe you didn't even know it was there. We have decided to develop a mental training camp program that will teach you how to master your mind to maximize your creativity and control your sanity. Be advised that mental lock picking is an advanced skill that is only taught to expert level mind explorers, so you'll have to attend multiple seminars before you can learn that skill. Spots are limited, so reserve yours now. Pricing is available upon request, but if you have to ask, this isn't the camp for you.
Full Disclosure: I was too tired today to put my mind to work. We all suffer as a result. Tomorrow will be a better day. I'm serious about the mental training camp though. Sign up now!
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