My Eyesight Is Fine

Hot or Not?

My brain is the problem.  This week has been slow around the shop as we transition into the track off-season.  The good news is that we have created a new revenue stream.  We have discovered a new procedure that allows us to bill our clients for simulator time that we use for our own testing and training.  The plan is quite simple.  We will use digital models of our client's vehicles to do our testing, thus preventing wear and tear, insurance expense, and the risk of destruction.  The simulator time will allow us to model performance, setup, and aerodynamic changes on various race tracks around the world.  The pricing structure is based on the virtual distance to the test track and how many miles we run on each track.  This could very well turn into one of our more lucrative revenue streams with the optional extras, and it would require the least amount of effort to sustain.  That is what I would refer to as a winning combination for AcMo. We don't currently know if our testing will correlate to the real world.  That won't happen until we can get a DAG on staff to translate the squiggly lines from the telemetry for us.  We are 47% certain it will work as I envisioned it.

When we have idle moments here I usually reach out to Snob Duben so we can argue about something, and true to form, he has done it again.  The other day he had the temerity to assault my design acumen when he declared the 2015 BMW M3 coupe ugly--I refuse to call it by BMW's new name.  He's riding the high of his crushing psychological warfare victory over me, but I assure you, his overconfidence is misplaced.  I will recover from the spider menace, and I will retaliate.  Soon.  His dislike of the vehicle is primarily directed at the aerodynamic treatment on the front end.  He calls it, "busy" and a "mess".  He gets upset when he sees it because he says it is too convoluted to be attractive.  This will not be the last time we disagree about something.  We often find ourselves disagreeing on important topics such as vehicle styling and performance, and whether or not DHMO is as much of a threat as people think.  I say it is a threat to our existence on this planet while he disagrees.

Usually when something looks right, it is right, but airflow doesn't quite work like that.  It wants to know all about curves, vortices, boundary layers, and other mumbo jumbo.  The computation and modeling involved in creating proper airflow around the front of a car can sometimes yield unattractive results.  This would not be the case in F1, for example, if the rules were less restrictive.  Now that I've had some additional time to study my own picture above, I can see his point.  The air intakes are quite convoluted and do not look attractive.  I suspected this would be the case when I saw the car in pictures and videos before and after its release.  We also got to see a wrecked one at our track pilgrimage earlier this year.  I still hadn't been able to form an opinion, but I wanted to like it.  I worked hard to convince myself that the aerodynamicists and designers had created the front to channel air as efficiently as possible to reduce lift and improve drag.  The ideal solution being grip when needed, and a streamlined shape to punch a hole in the air at higher speeds.  All manufacturers are stuck under the upcoming CAFE standards, so every saved MPG counts.

The problem in my uneducated opinion is that the airflow didn't need to be bullied to the extent it is on the front of the M3 coupe to be efficient.  Nobody likes a bully.  The open overhangs at the extreme edges were stolen straight from the i8.  I'm not sure they looked great on that, but they don't work here for sure.

This post hurts me because I have always been a fan of the M3 since the very first one.  Sure, there were clear missteps in the development of some of the successors, but they have always been competent cars.  This one is said to be fast as well, but it may just be the worst looking.  I wish these words weren't coming from me.  Why can't I look at that front and think it is beautiful?  It is symmetrical at least.

Better?

I think this DTM safety car is better even though the design is almost identical to the original car.  Perhaps the strobe lights help distract from the complex shapes.  The carbon fiber splitter ties the front end together, and the actual design is better hidden because of the unpainted carbon fiber.  If the whole lower front was unpainted CF, the effect would be transformative.  I bet even Snob would like it then.  I'll have to persuade him to run a photoshop session in order to obtain confirmation.  We'll even charge HIM for the time.  Ha!

I don't believe we will ever read about a BMW executive admitting the front end was a poor design choice the way  Porsche's CEO opened up about the ugly duckling Panamera.  Porsche CEO Admits The Panamera Doesn't Look That Great.  I have to give him credit because it is almost impossible for parents to admit that their children are ugly.  Snob and I will find something new to disagree about soon.  Perhaps he won't think the DTM safety car front end helps the look of the car.  Then we will argue about that.