TDCS

I have been harboring the fear that my Fountain of Wisdom water may become ineffective.  I worry that a knowledge plateau could precede a precipitous decline and might return my intellect to pre-fountain discovery levels.  A reversal of that magnitude could place AcMo’s future in jeopardy.  There are too many important projects pending to let something like that happen.

Each day I spend a set amount of time creating doomsday scenarios and appropriate response plans.  The time allotment varies depending on the day and what’s on the schedule, and whether or not we’re going to be at the track with any of our client’s vehicles.  I try to spend at least three hours everyday on these plans.  AcMo will be prepared even if giant robots emerge from the depths of the ocean.  We have a plan in place to power down those robots and reprogram to obey our commands.

The schedule was barren this week, so I decided we should do something radical to forestall the direst of doomsday scenarios, which would be spontaneous and permanent loss of intelligence.  That is exactly what happened to executives at Sears and Kmart, and neither company has recovered from it yet.  That will never happen at AcMo.  Our hope is that some of our animal testing will provide a training method to create a line of succession in case all of the humans become unavailable or unsuitable to lead.

Before that line of succession needs to be activated, we must fortify our mental strength.  I’m also looking at increasing our collective storage capacity because you can never have too much memory.  While I have an unlimited source of intellect booster, the risk of a plateau with the fountain of wisdom water is real.  I want to fortify my brain through other measures to allow the water to continue to make my mind more powerful.  Think of it as overclocking the human brain.  No one knows how much faster it can get before it pops.  Since I am a giving person and in the holiday spirit, I also want the staff to improve their focus and attention span.  That's why I've booked us all appointments to have transcranial direct current stimulation sessions.  This is a surprise to the rest of the staff.  I have considered the contingencies.  If any AcMo employee tries to leave to join a competitor, the increased intellect gained from our work must remain within AcMo, as it is work product.  Removing the performance boosting can be a dangerous task, but it shouldn’t impact operations.  Any employee who is left with diminished capacity after the removal procedure will be allowed to leave to work at any of our competitors.  We will make sure to omit the deficit in that employee’s permanent file.  That should keep us strong and make our competitors weaker.  This is all explained in the super fine print of the employment contract.

Any experimental treatment has risks.  TDCS isn’t an exception.  I’ve scheduled the sessions for the beginning part of the week so that we will have at least this week to recover if it does not go according to plan, but why wouldn't it?  The local place I found promises in their ads to, “stop the brain drain!”  I would really like to turbocharge my processing power and this seems to be a safer method than trying to physically add larger memory and a turbocharger to my brain.  I haven’t seen my pin outs yet, but I’m not even certain the RAM I have on hand is compatible with my brain, which would make that a non-starter.  The AcMo database has performance baselines for everyone on staff, so we’ll be able to test the effects of the treatments immediately if not sooner.

I have nominated several volunteers to be first to attempt to survive the TDCS, but the board has made it clear that I must go first.  They claim it shows a strong leadership quality and that it will increase morale.  It will also leave AcMo in danger if my brain gets fried.

There are no rewards worth achieving without risk, so I will dive into the unknown in the name of morale boosting heroism.  I’m really doing this so I can figure out how to vanquish the expired part that trounced me last week and is still taunting me now.  All of my current solutions involved destructive tools and since this isn’t a client’s vehicle, it would be harder to pass the expense through to the client. I’m not going to double bill myself.  That would be dumb.

My first session is scheduled for tomorrow morning.  I should know within minutes if it succeeded.  There is a contingency plan created if it fails or I lose intelligence.  It’s locked in the safe at HQ1.  I just hope I’ll be able to remember it is there and also know the combination if we need to retrieve it.