Faith on Mondays

Is that normal brake operation, or a sign of impending failure, or both?  Faith can tell us.

Monday should not be a surprise for anyone who was not just born.  You’ve seen the day before, and it always arrive at the same time each week.  What’s the big mystery?  I can understand the confusion if severe head trauma or a time travel glitch causes someone to go to sleep on Sunday and wake up on Thursday morning.  We have faith that the sun will continue to shine even when we can’t see it or even fully understand how it works.  The revenue streams would be outrageous if we could encapsulate a small fragment of the sun’s energy into glass bottles shaped liked light bulbs.  Total market domination would be great news for a Monday.

Monday shows up on time every time.  Other than preventing thurmonuclear destruction, there aren't any special steps required to experience another Monday.  It just works. What happens during the day is anyone's guess, but until the world ends, I can't see anything happening to Mondays.  Take that to the bank.

So why not embrace the first or second day of another week—depending on how you count—full of amazing opportunities?  I know that's how I've trained AcMo staff to view it. No one arrives at any of our bases with a scowl on Monday.  They're sent home for the day if they do.  Also, we close if the outside temperature is too low or high.  We don’t want any of our employees to get injured due to a weather related mishap.

Every Monday I put together all of the mental tools I will need to survive the week.  I find it most important to stock up on common sense because that tends to disappear as the week wears on.  Even the daily commute requires a large amount of faith in the other drivers on the road, and that the road won’t crumble beneath the client’s vehicle I happen to be using.

Faith is a frequent passenger during our driving sessions.  I know it takes more than faith to make it around a corner, as I’m a firm believer in the power of wonder, but as the speed increases, it becomes about wonder and faith and getting the combination balanced.

Did someone remember to reinstall the retaining pins and spring clip that hold the brake pads in place?  Is there enough brake fluid in the system?  Is it brake fluid this time, or lighter fluid again (true story, the flames were spectacular)?  These thoughts and countless others bounce around my brain each second I’m hurtling toward another corner in a client’s vehicle.

When we drill down to the more finite elements of rapid locomotion, the faith becomes more introspective.  Have I applied the brakes at the right moment with the correct amount of force to slow enough for the corner?  If not, then I always leave it up to my faith to keep me from flying off the track backward as I go through the corner.  The biggest and most difficult leap to accept is that I actually know what I'm doing, and that vehicular physics work the way that I think they do, and that I'm working with the correctly with the forces involved.

There are a lot of moving parts to getting a vehicle around a track. Up until recently, we were missing some of those important parts. A sliver of blame is on AcMo because we tend to discover surplus parts after all of our builds. The rest is the fault of the automotive propaganda machine that was designed to keep us ignorant. Manuals longer than 5 pages are impossible to read. I doubt even the authors know what appears on pages 6-200 of most vehicle manuals. I sure don't.

I realize as I expand my scope outward that a great deal of modern society operates in faith. Market and government collapses can happen at any time, but most of us operate as if the situation is stable.  It takes an inordinate amount of faith to rest our futures on people who don’t know what they are doing, but we all do this every day.

AcMo has developed the AcMo Preparedness Program (APP) to help you identify areas that can be fortified against sudden and unexpected changes so you no longer have to rely on faith to get the job done.  This is how AcMo protects against unexpected disasters.  That is why Mondays are always a bit stressful since we've spent the weekend preparing for a disaster that may never materialize.  A bonus medical tip is that ERs are the worst place to be on the weekends, so we schedule all of our emergency medical situations between Monday and Thursday.  We never miss the good parties that way either.  That is just one area the APP can improve your quality of life and state of mind.

The automotive side benefits from our extensive list of track related failure possibilities. Auto APP prepares you and your car for the rigors of track driving.  We extensively test your vehicle until parts fail and then charge for the replacements.  Then we pass the list of items to you with replacement guidelines and methods to avoid similar failures.  The system is bulletproof at this point because there aren't any failures that can hide from our expert testers.

So far we have compiled the following programs:

• Social APP (SAPP)
•  Track APP (RAPP)
•  Business (BAPP)

Full coverage at a discounted rate of just under three times the cost of the Social and Business APP bundle is available with the Life APP (LAPP).  Speak to your sales representative today to bundle APPs today and save!

The database upon which these APPS are built continues to expand.  We anticipate acquiring every conceivable failure mode before the end of the century.  This data will prove invaluable when we take our business into space.  Our solar system is an untapped revenue stream.  I am hopeful the aliens we encounter will be amenable to using AcMo Dollars to conduct business, and that they will have the foresight to see how valuable our APPS can be.