Splitting Hairs

AcMo has been accused of splitting hairs on occasion.  Notice I mentioned accused and not charged.  There has never been enough evidence to bring a hair splitting case against us to trial.  Between our need for precise operations and our micro-vision, it has always been a natural behavior.  We have even on occasion split hairs for volunteers with their full knowledge and consent.  This isn't a service we advertise because the return doesn't always justify the effort, and we don’t want to cause waves.

Our legendary developmental process has provided insights that have helped us to optimize the procedure.  Our proprietary shears are designed to split any hair within .0001%.  Our modified foot pedal throttle provides more control than had ever previously been achieved with shears, and it doubles as a development tool for improving car control.  This advantage allows us to crush our competitor's hair splitting products.

These shears slice through metal like paper, imagine how much easier this makes splitting hairs.  It transforms from a tedious process to an effortless endeavor.  We recommend always wearing gloves and protective clothing when using our AcMo super shears.

We started to wonder what 4 MJ, some complex equations, and a willingness to go deeper would accomplish.  It turns out we can split a lot more than hairs.  We've developed shears that can split atoms for .000000024ms before imploding.  We believe this to be a record.  Our goal is to figure out how to keep the reaction from going critical so we can harness the power.

We will take one of the devices below and scale it down to a more portable size before attempting to combine it with our shear technology.  If we can achieve that, we will probably have pioneered the creation of the fastest and most energy dense shears in existence.

Since we don't have the time or resources to reinvent the wheel, we will borrow ideas from a proven design.  This is just smart business.  Why blaze the trail when we can follow behind while it is still hot?  The leader will take out many of our entry barriers making our job even easier.  The A-10 Warthog will serve as our faithful model so we can take our bleeding edge technology and put it on a racetrack where it can make a difference.

All of the original equipment low-power hybrid hardware will be removed to make room for our AcMo Super Shear Charge® solution.  I can't wait to get on the track to test drive this thing and see if we can't rip a hole in the fabric of time, or at least leave a mark in the pavement.  Stay tuned for more updates on our project.  Oh, if anyone knows someone at Audi who might be willing to provide a donor chassis, please let us know.  Thanks!

Applications for brave test drivers who are not afraid of extinction level events are now being accepted as well.  This project should be online and at a track near you by the end of the 2028 season.  That isn’t a lot of time to make the type of technological advancements we’re going to need in order for this project to be successful, so we need motivated and immediately available test drivers.