It is now possible to use a consumer-grade telescope to
locate black holes from the comfort of your favorite home viewing spot. This is due to a number of factors, including
but not limited to advances in optics technology, favorable ozone conditions, the
speed of light, and the new unwanted advances of black holes invading Earth’s
personal space.
Before you run out to share this amazing news with the rest
of the world, I need to temper your enthusiasm.
Resist the urge to scan the sky for black holes with your ordinary
telescope. Those scopes aren’t shielded,
and it is far too dangerous to risk being discovered by a black hole. Rrrrrrrifts in the space-time continuum can
occur when a black hole catches someone spying on it. I shouldn't need to explain again what happens
when an unplanned rift opens.
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| AcMo’s latest gen test vehicle shines bright as it reaches melting temp while accelerating toward the drain. |
If any of the above images are visible in your telescope—including the large red arrow, the time to run has evaporated—as will everything else moments later. There are a few items that need to be addressed before the reality of total nothingness exists. First, it must be confirmed that the telescope’s lens caps have been removed, and that it is in fact pointing toward the sky. Also check that someone hasn’t taped these images onto the lens. The next step is to confirm that your eyes are open and that no hallucinations are occurring. If ALL of the following criteria have been met and the image seen in the telescope looks anywhere near the pictures, we are either testing again, and/or it is the end of the Earth. I hate to be negative, but it is important that I get these warnings out there so people can be prepared. There is nothing worse than a panicked mass response to an extinction level event. It is so hard to concentrate on the solution when everyone is screaming. That’s why I had to stop taking passengers on the track with me.
Rift generation risks aside, the thing people don't realize about black holes is that they can make great accelerators. As you know by now, AcMo is all about acceleration. It’s in our name after all. Increased restrictions on space travel and a decrease in the authorized black hole viewing hours have made testing more complicated, but not impossible. AcMo has been forced to become more creative to bypass all of these rigorous restrictions. This has been accomplished in part by using our stealth technologies to attach our ships to rockets already being launched into space. This not only reduces our costs, but it makes research and development more reasonable. The biggest obstacle is finding launches with enough excess capacity to hold all of our cargo because once in outer space our ships tend to fly themselves*.
*Let’s be serious here: NO ship has control while circling (clockwise anyway) the drain of a black hole.
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