Compensation Package

The siege has concluded.  It was a long and harrowing ordeal, but somehow we all survived.  Tough situations are a bit easier for me because I know where to hide until the situation is resolved.  In this instance, I spent most of the duration of Compensation Package's siege traveling and establishing new bases of operation.  The best way to keep your mind off of an old or current unsolvable problem is to create new unsolvable problems.  Just understanding the logistics of all of our operations is difficult enough, and I'm now a certified genius thanks to our Fountain of Wisdom water.  As new problems enter my conscious mind, the old ones are pushed out, and if I'm fortunate, never to be remembered again.  It's similar to the philosophy we take with the parking tickets.

Right now we are working hard to reclaim Compensation Package's former kingdom, and repair the damage it caused.  A lot of that damage was focused on the ventilation system for some reason.  It's almost as if the snake was probing for weaknesses in our defenses that it could exploit.  It took longer than any of us liked, but Fred got around to doing what he should have done in the first place:  snake killing with gusto.  That snake never saw it coming.  I got visual confirmation that this wasn't a decoy skin, it was the real deal.  Compensation Package fooled us once, but that decoy skin trick didn't work twice.  Rattlesnakes aren't nearly as cunning as I thought.  Or maybe Fred is just that good.  He does have twin turbo power after all.

The whole thing went down about how you would expect.  Compensation Package got a bit too bold and was on the shop floor acting like it owned the place when Fred caught sight of it.  Compensation Package knew something was up, you could just tell by the way it raised up like a periscope to take a look around, and that's when Fred swooped in and separated his head from the rest of his body.  It was amazing--not for Compensation Package of course, but this was the first time Fred had boosted to the proper levels since we installed his bolt on twin turbo kit.  We have fixed his overboosting issues!

We also learned that the core of the problem was Fred.  His brain was not adjusting to the added thrust properly, and he wasn't operating his wastegates at optimum efficiency.  Giving him a soft target to attack allowed him to make the proper tuning changes to bring his boost levels to where they should have been from the start.  None of this would have happened if Fred had paid more attention when we were studying the compressor maps. It's my fault for thinking he was paying any attention just because he was looking at the pages. I know that trick all too well to fall for it, but I did fall for it.

We've accomplished a few milestones with the snake eradication program.  I now realize that we can train a fleet of peregrine falcons to operate with twin turbos, and we can then sell them to customers who would like to resolve rodent/snake problems within their facilities.  If it works for AcMo, it will work for you.

This ordeal has provided definitive proof that a snake's body will indeed fall when its head is removed.  I had always been curious about that.  It also appears that Fred may have been refusing to fly because he lacked energy.  We don't really know what to feed him, so we had been giving him fruits and vegetables, but it seems he needs a heartier diet in order to fly right.  Now that we know he enjoys eating snake heads, we may go out and find more to entice him into flying so we can actually get some test flight miles before we launch him into space.

We also want to be able to calibrate our GoPros to handle the g-forces Fred will be generating.  We hope to have a rock-solid video feed to chronicle the most historic flight since the Wright brothers did their thing all those years ago.  If I'm being honest, I have to admit that this is far more monumental than their 13 foot flight or whatever it was.  We're about to launch the fastest bird in the world into space, and if he survives re-entry, he will become the fastest bird to have ever donned a flight suit and to have exited Earth's atmosphere.  We will be filling pages in a new type of record book for years after this.

I just hope our calculations are correct.  We lost a lot of development time between hunting for that stupid snake and Fred's refusal to fly.  Our launch window for the year is closing and we're not yet prepared to push the button.  At least I'll be able to sleep with both eyes closed now and not on top of my desk.  That was the hardest part for me during this whole ordeal.  I can't afford to miss any of my beauty sleep. Appearances are critical in this industry.