I had never heard of this children's book series until a friend mentioned it the other day. He remarked that he is always surprised when he encounters people who aren't familiar with the series. I pretended as if I knew what he was talking about, but I didn't have a clue. I thought it sounded like a solid idea for a life plan though. This book series sold more than 250 million copies back in the day according to Wikipedia, so the number must be accurate. I wonder how it is possible to have never heard anyone else I know ever mention this book series throughout my lifetime? Now that I am acquainted with the series I can't recall why he brought it up in the first place. I should have paid more attention in grade school during the classes on paying attention. I couldn't stop staring at Jenny B. while imagining sitting in a tree with her though. I'm sure all of you know someone like her, for those who don't actually know her. She had a great personality--no, really, was a ballerina, had an amazing smile, beautiful hair, and did not have any romantic interest in me. None at all, less than zero even. Oh well, it's her loss! That's just something people like me say when they've been rejected. It's still my loss all these years later.
Life is an adventure waiting to be experienced, and as we all know, it's about the journey, not the destination. This has caused me to reconsider my decision to focus all of my resources on brand building. I may be sacrificing the experience of discovering the best life has to offer to the needs of my brand. It is a tough call. When I am finished building my brand, I'll have an appealing logo, a witty tagline, an optional jingle (some assembly required), a killer slogan, and some other undefined but very important items that I can slap on everything I produce. A patent attorney assured me that he could patent my brand and trademark and copyright it as well for a one-time payment of $100,000. He also said I would be able to sue various Fortune 500 companies for patent infringement. He did *not* specify whether or not I would be able to win these cases. When I've finished my adventure, I'll have some pics, maybe a little video, and a brain full of unforgettable experiences. I will not, however, have any protection for the intellectual property of my adventure. Brands can last forever--especially when filled with the preservatives used in Twinkies™, but memories are ephemeral. I hate making tough decisions. Both options are appealing.
Staring out of the window to let my mind wander always provides at least a moment of clarity while also bolstering my procrastination skills. This time was no different. I now see why those little helicopters fly so well when falling out of trees. It's their weight distribution, don't let anyone tell you different. Besides the helicopters, I think I have a solution to my dilemma.
I don't have to make a decision. I can turn my brand building exercise into my adventure. My new marketing department is still being formed, so I can't lean on them for guidance. I'm sure they will argue that any money spent on marketing is returned ten-fold in customer loyalty and retention. I'll once again pretend I know what that means, slowly nod my head, and steeple my fingers while looking quite grim. That is my fake thinking maneuver. That is how I passed my entrance exam interview. If it worked then, it will work now.
This blog may pivot just like all successful tech companies do when chasing investment instead of profitability. Do not worry, I am chasing profit over investment, but not at the expense of my customers. The closure of the complaint department is evidence that I am committed to my customer's first. Without them, I don't have a business or any brand equity.
One of my first goals will be to scrap my business plan and write a brand building adventure plan instead. Once I've finished that and have a reasonable idea that the adventure won't result in sudden death, I will recruit someone via inception to experience the adventure for me. I know, a few of you are thinking that sounds dumb, and impossible, but there is logic to my plan, and impossible only takes a week. If someone else lives the adventure, I will be free to blog about it. Plus, and this part is critical, if any of my calculations were incorrect (probable) and the adventure does lead to sudden death, I will still be here to blog about it.
I survive, the brand survives. Now that I think about it, brand building is a lot like going to the gym. I need to craft a workout plan for my brand and pick an effective trainer. Great, more work, and more personnel to hire. The rate at which this operation is spiraling out of my control is quite alarming.
P.S. Full Disclosure: I enrolled in a Google beta brand power program which pays me every time I put the word "brand" in my entries. Google owns me and my brand now.
No comments:
Post a Comment