Heavy Metal

I can no longer maintain my silence. An under-reported problem has been consuming the country.  It grows every generation.  People talk about it at race tracks, on the side of popular driving roads, at gas stations--a lot at gas stations, and in online forums, but no one wants to bring it into the light. This has been going on for too long.  We have a serious weight problem:  current sports cars are too heavy.  It's a long list, but here are a few of my favorite offenders:  Aston Martin (V12 Vantage), Chevrolet (Z/28), Nissan (GT-R), Porsche (918 Spyder).  Not even the mistaken installation of counterfeit plastic pedals (now recalled) helped Aston trim the weight.  I would list a Ferrari (FF), but no one knows what they weigh because the numbers are fabricated at the factory, and the owners aren't permitted to weigh them.  

There was a time when a side or frontal impact at moderate speed meant instant death, but cars are safer now.  Is it the increased weight?  I don’t think so.  Some of that extra weight is derived from the forty or so airbags, igniters (the part that tickles the bag until it goes, "boom!"), and sensors to monitor them that are now in every car.  I think the real culprit is profit.  A basic tenet of any successful business is the ability to turn a profit.  No self respecting, MBA clad, Harvard of course, executive would willingly reduce profit margins without a fight.  The incentive for auto manufacturers to risk losing profits to chase lightness isn't there.   It costs large amounts of money to take weight out of cars. The research, development, testing, and expensive materials required all eat into profit margins.  As the vehicle price climbs higher, the pool of buyers diminishes, and production cost savings can't be implemented on lower volumes.  It is a vicious cycle.  Aftermarket solutions exist to add legitimate lightness if you have large amounts of money.  Everything comes down to money.  The heavier your bank account, the lighter you can make your car--and simultaneously, your bank account.

One area in which manufacturers are succeeding in adding lightness is in the brake rotor material.  Several auto manufacturers have made carbon ceramic brake rotors available.  These reduce unsprung weight, and when not overheated, can last longer than standard cast iron rotors.  However, these composite rotors can be expensive.  Even though most of the auto manufacturer supplied carbon ceramic brake systems come from the same source, the auto manufacturers charge different amounts for them.  This whole situation is beginning to feel like a high-tech shakedown.  Mind your Bitcoins, people.

A heavy car does its best Pac-man impression on consumable items such as:  brake pads, rotors (not the composites, they're too hard on Pac-man's jaws), tires, shocks, bushings, blinker fluid*, and wheel bearings.  The fuel economy doesn't get a pass either. When your car is all used up, Pac-man moves to the one parked next to it and starts eating that too.  Pac-man never sleeps, and never stops eating.  Heavier cars dull the senses and reaction time.  Think of trying to run an obstacle course in mush while wearing snow boots.  That's *exactly* what driving a heavy sports car feels like.  Maybe.  We should do some testing to confirm.  Could I have a volunteer?

I also take issue with the often repeated argument that places part of the blame on an insatiable desire for more luxury features inside the cabin.  Apparently, luxury has somehow become synonymous with heavy. Don't get me started on current Bentleys and Rolls-Royces.  They aren't sports cars, which is what I'm worried about today, so I'll save that particular diatribe for another day.  Electronic components have decreased in size while increasing performance and reliability. Why would an infotainment system built today weigh more than one put in a car ten years ago?  The screens are bigger now, and mp3s are heavy too, I understand that, but this is absurd.  Why do sports cars even need infotainment screens?  Unless that screen is the display for recordable telemetry functions and the monitor for a Pratt & Miller Radar Camera, then it must be there.

If nothing else, lightweight cows who involuntarily supply their hides for interior leather are lighter and stronger--thank antibiotics and steroids (not just for MLB players anymore)--than what came before.  Leather substitute materials are also lighter than their predecessors. In a surprise twist, manufacturers put even more of the stuff in the car to bring the weight back up.  Weight equals luxury, and nothing screams luxury like leather--or faux leather.  And weight.

I know when I'm a pedestrian I would prefer to tangle with a 3000 lb. car rather than a 4700 lb. one. I'll probably lose either way, but the 3000 lb. car will keep me looking handsome for my funeral.  If those words prove to be prophetic, please stop by my funeral to see which car got me.  Place bets in advance. The proceeds will go to the Lightness Movement.  We need to stand strong and tell the auto manufacturers the holiday is finished. Serious lightweight solutions are no longer optional.  Your vehicle's consumable items will thank you.  The manufacturers of said items will not as they will all go out of business when people stop needing to replace all of them every other month.

*Cars don't use blinker fluid any longer since the government outlawed it because of safety concerns.  I'm just making sure you're paying attention.