Once I was able to rescue myself from the floor, I turned on Bloomberg News. My fears would prove unfounded as I would learn a few minutes later. I suppose I could have turned on the television from the floor, but the viewing angle would have made my neck sore. I watch Bloomberg to get an idea of current trends AcMo can exploit for profit. It is more background noise than anything else because I have it on while doing the routine morning security sweep. I need to confirm AcMo's defenses weren't penetrated during the night, and that all of my listening and recording devices are operational. AcMo is a unique enterprise that is run in a manner that is so divergent from normal operating procedures that it is not studied in business schools. This is the result of the fact that I am winging it, and that the traditional business models bore me. So what if they are profitable? Are they having any fun? We have fun at AcMo--at least I do--and I think we will see a profit any day now.
What can only be considered a fateful action occurred during the sweep this morning: I heard a guy talking about a new marketing concept based on old principles. I only started to pay attention to his words after I realized he sounded like Jeremy Sisto. I started having Law & Order flashbacks which forced me to stop the security sweep and focus on his words. This guy's name is Michael Fertik, or something like that. I suspect he is the creation of a clever PR team, and that he is computer generated and voiced by Jeremy Sisto so that people like me will pay attention to his message.
It worked. Michael discussed the genesis of his Femtomarketing*, and when I heard it, I knew I had just discovered the future direction of AcMo Enterprises. Michael has provided a beacon to light the path forward to greatness. Effective next week, AcMo is devoting all of its resources to understanding how Femtomarketing works, and then we will utilize this knowledge to take the market share that has so far eluded our efforts. While I am crediting Michael and his Femtomarketing with redirecting AcMo, I must stress that we are in no way willing to share revenue with him or his organization. In fact, by the time we're done, it will be known as AcMomarketing, and he will not have cause to pursue a claim against us.
It's a good thing I couldn't find my lucky coin to do the coin toss last night. I might have ended up firing a bunch of staff that I would have had to re-hire the next day. Femtomarketing is the future of everything, and it will soon become embedded in all Internet enabled products. There's a chance I misunderstood Michael's message, but I don't think so. I think his message was designed for everyone who has trouble embracing the power of marketing. Femtomarketing is the power of marketing magnified 150 times. That is a magnification level all of us at AcMo find comforting. We're used to viewing objects at that magnification because so much of our work is done on a nanoscale.
The new dawn of AcMo is coming, and we all have Michael Fertik (I hope that was his name) and Femtomarketing to thank for it. Embrace the future, and come along for the ride into a new marketing frontier with AcMo. Please keep all limbs inside the vehicle while it is in motion, and wear your safety belts at all times. This is as much for your protection as it is mine because I cannot handle any additional lawsuits at the moment. Thank you for your understanding.
*There is a chance, a minuscule chance, that I have misunderstood the power of Femtomarketing, and it will not be the savior I envisioned. If this proves to be the case, this post, and all memory of it will disappear as if it had never happened.
What can only be considered a fateful action occurred during the sweep this morning: I heard a guy talking about a new marketing concept based on old principles. I only started to pay attention to his words after I realized he sounded like Jeremy Sisto. I started having Law & Order flashbacks which forced me to stop the security sweep and focus on his words. This guy's name is Michael Fertik, or something like that. I suspect he is the creation of a clever PR team, and that he is computer generated and voiced by Jeremy Sisto so that people like me will pay attention to his message.
It worked. Michael discussed the genesis of his Femtomarketing*, and when I heard it, I knew I had just discovered the future direction of AcMo Enterprises. Michael has provided a beacon to light the path forward to greatness. Effective next week, AcMo is devoting all of its resources to understanding how Femtomarketing works, and then we will utilize this knowledge to take the market share that has so far eluded our efforts. While I am crediting Michael and his Femtomarketing with redirecting AcMo, I must stress that we are in no way willing to share revenue with him or his organization. In fact, by the time we're done, it will be known as AcMomarketing, and he will not have cause to pursue a claim against us.
It's a good thing I couldn't find my lucky coin to do the coin toss last night. I might have ended up firing a bunch of staff that I would have had to re-hire the next day. Femtomarketing is the future of everything, and it will soon become embedded in all Internet enabled products. There's a chance I misunderstood Michael's message, but I don't think so. I think his message was designed for everyone who has trouble embracing the power of marketing. Femtomarketing is the power of marketing magnified 150 times. That is a magnification level all of us at AcMo find comforting. We're used to viewing objects at that magnification because so much of our work is done on a nanoscale.
The new dawn of AcMo is coming, and we all have Michael Fertik (I hope that was his name) and Femtomarketing to thank for it. Embrace the future, and come along for the ride into a new marketing frontier with AcMo. Please keep all limbs inside the vehicle while it is in motion, and wear your safety belts at all times. This is as much for your protection as it is mine because I cannot handle any additional lawsuits at the moment. Thank you for your understanding.
*There is a chance, a minuscule chance, that I have misunderstood the power of Femtomarketing, and it will not be the savior I envisioned. If this proves to be the case, this post, and all memory of it will disappear as if it had never happened.
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