This is the spot I would insert a commercial break if I had the technology.
Back to today's exciting creation, the best visor is the one on your motorcycle helmet while you're wearing it. You do wear a helmet, right? I wear one around the AcMo offices because my head is both too important and too handsome to be damaged. I am the face of AcMo after all. Weather and road/track conditions can be variable, but if you're in a race, there won't be a plethora of opportunities to change visors, if any. I watched highlights of the Isle of Man TT last evening which was when the idea for this amazing discovery began to germinate in my brain. These riders are released from the sanitarium once per year to make an all out assault on the Isle of Man course. If you've never watched an Isle of Man TT, watch some highlights or onboard footage from a lap and you'll understand what I'm saying. Once the races have concluded, the riders are shipped back to their respective sanitariums to wait until next year's event for another attempt at 2 wheeled glory.
During the race I was watching highlights from, rain began to fall at certain portions of the "track". Some of the riders had selected darker visors, which were appropriate for the conditions at the start, but did not help vision when the sky darkened and the rain began to fall. One rider was forced to use his gloved hand to wipe water off of his dark visor while traveling at 156 mph!?! I thought there had to be a better way, and AcMo was the organization to find it. My first solution was a combo pack of visors for any lighting level. However, carrying multiple visors wouldn't be practical in this situation, and while the riders are crazy, they aren't crazy enough to attempt a visor swap while traveling at speeds above 126 mph. I dropped back into our think tank (it's an actual tank) to do some additional work. It took longer than usual, but I came up with a viable solution. AcMo has created the best visor in the world. Our precious is the one visor to rule them all.
The concept is quite novel and already exists in the eyeglass realm, but it hasn't yet been transferred to helmet visors--at least it better not have been because we're sunk if I'm wrong. This would also work for open cockpit vehicles, but the stumbling block for closed cockpit race vehicles is that most windshields block ultraviolet light which would render the visor useless. AcMo has created a solution for that as well, which is the UV reactive windshield tear off. I'll share more on that innovation later.
First, let's get some pertinent details regarding the helmet visor in the public domain. We take a traditional visor and apply a proprietary formula of lethal sounding chemicals (which are not lethal, I think) to create a visor that is reactive to ultraviolet exposure. This way the visor is light when needed, and dark when the sun is shining. I know the process sounds amazing, but it is just what we do daily at AcMo. We make the ordinary look extraordinary. We're magicians whose tricks benefit people with useful innovations. Who needs a bird or flowers popping out of a hat? You can levitate above water, so what? That doesn't create jobs like AcMo does. Magic doesn't raise quality of life. AcMo does. Read the stats* and see for yourself.
The rider can now select one visor layered with the desired number of tear offs and be prepared for any light conditions. The water dispersant is an off the shelf solution (Rain-X) that can be applied before the race, or there is a retrofit kit that adds a spray system to apply the solution directly to the visor while at speed. The kit also requires the addition of a small wiper to apply an even coat of Rain-X. A side bonus is that the spray system can be aimed above the rider's head to apply a thin film of slippery material to the road thus making life difficult for the following riders. It runs off a 12-volt pump that connects directly to the motorcycle's power supply. Any weight penalty is offset by the rider's increased sight. Also, weight can be reduced by using less fuel, or shaving the tires before the start. I don't recommend shaving the tires though. The beauty of this solution is that the riders are crazy so they don't care about things like certification and testing--of which we've done none.
The AcMo Windshield tear offs are being used in unsanctioned race series across the world right now. We've focused a lot of our time and effort on demolition derbies because that is the type of racing we always find ourselves doing by accident anyway. So far, only one tear off has failed to lighten at the appropriate time, but that driver didn't have any problems because her eyes were closed anyway. The biggest issue at the moment is the price for the windshield year offs. Exorbitant doesn't begin to cover it. We hope to bring the price point down to at least ridiculous soon.
Once validation testing has concluded, AcMo will attempt to fake FIA certification so that we can get our tear offs on a windshield of a race car in an actual series that pays money to the participants.
*Stats are unavailable at this time. The computer that was doing the work disappeared in a ball of fire. I suspect the magicians took umbrage with my words and are getting payback. I will have the last laugh though. I promise you that.
Back to today's exciting creation, the best visor is the one on your motorcycle helmet while you're wearing it. You do wear a helmet, right? I wear one around the AcMo offices because my head is both too important and too handsome to be damaged. I am the face of AcMo after all. Weather and road/track conditions can be variable, but if you're in a race, there won't be a plethora of opportunities to change visors, if any. I watched highlights of the Isle of Man TT last evening which was when the idea for this amazing discovery began to germinate in my brain. These riders are released from the sanitarium once per year to make an all out assault on the Isle of Man course. If you've never watched an Isle of Man TT, watch some highlights or onboard footage from a lap and you'll understand what I'm saying. Once the races have concluded, the riders are shipped back to their respective sanitariums to wait until next year's event for another attempt at 2 wheeled glory.
During the race I was watching highlights from, rain began to fall at certain portions of the "track". Some of the riders had selected darker visors, which were appropriate for the conditions at the start, but did not help vision when the sky darkened and the rain began to fall. One rider was forced to use his gloved hand to wipe water off of his dark visor while traveling at 156 mph!?! I thought there had to be a better way, and AcMo was the organization to find it. My first solution was a combo pack of visors for any lighting level. However, carrying multiple visors wouldn't be practical in this situation, and while the riders are crazy, they aren't crazy enough to attempt a visor swap while traveling at speeds above 126 mph. I dropped back into our think tank (it's an actual tank) to do some additional work. It took longer than usual, but I came up with a viable solution. AcMo has created the best visor in the world. Our precious is the one visor to rule them all.
The concept is quite novel and already exists in the eyeglass realm, but it hasn't yet been transferred to helmet visors--at least it better not have been because we're sunk if I'm wrong. This would also work for open cockpit vehicles, but the stumbling block for closed cockpit race vehicles is that most windshields block ultraviolet light which would render the visor useless. AcMo has created a solution for that as well, which is the UV reactive windshield tear off. I'll share more on that innovation later.
First, let's get some pertinent details regarding the helmet visor in the public domain. We take a traditional visor and apply a proprietary formula of lethal sounding chemicals (which are not lethal, I think) to create a visor that is reactive to ultraviolet exposure. This way the visor is light when needed, and dark when the sun is shining. I know the process sounds amazing, but it is just what we do daily at AcMo. We make the ordinary look extraordinary. We're magicians whose tricks benefit people with useful innovations. Who needs a bird or flowers popping out of a hat? You can levitate above water, so what? That doesn't create jobs like AcMo does. Magic doesn't raise quality of life. AcMo does. Read the stats* and see for yourself.
The rider can now select one visor layered with the desired number of tear offs and be prepared for any light conditions. The water dispersant is an off the shelf solution (Rain-X) that can be applied before the race, or there is a retrofit kit that adds a spray system to apply the solution directly to the visor while at speed. The kit also requires the addition of a small wiper to apply an even coat of Rain-X. A side bonus is that the spray system can be aimed above the rider's head to apply a thin film of slippery material to the road thus making life difficult for the following riders. It runs off a 12-volt pump that connects directly to the motorcycle's power supply. Any weight penalty is offset by the rider's increased sight. Also, weight can be reduced by using less fuel, or shaving the tires before the start. I don't recommend shaving the tires though. The beauty of this solution is that the riders are crazy so they don't care about things like certification and testing--of which we've done none.
The AcMo Windshield tear offs are being used in unsanctioned race series across the world right now. We've focused a lot of our time and effort on demolition derbies because that is the type of racing we always find ourselves doing by accident anyway. So far, only one tear off has failed to lighten at the appropriate time, but that driver didn't have any problems because her eyes were closed anyway. The biggest issue at the moment is the price for the windshield year offs. Exorbitant doesn't begin to cover it. We hope to bring the price point down to at least ridiculous soon.
Once validation testing has concluded, AcMo will attempt to fake FIA certification so that we can get our tear offs on a windshield of a race car in an actual series that pays money to the participants.
*Stats are unavailable at this time. The computer that was doing the work disappeared in a ball of fire. I suspect the magicians took umbrage with my words and are getting payback. I will have the last laugh though. I promise you that.
No comments:
Post a Comment