Back when Snob Duben and I first entered into a business relationship, I was new to this whole business stuff. I had just emerged from a series M round of financing for my newest startup venture: Tree Top Messaging. I discovered after all of those successful funding rounds that the reason we couldn't make any money was because the idea was dependent upon line of sight and the presence of trees. There aren't trees everywhere people want to communicate. I shelved the idea, but that's when Snob came into the picture. He claimed he had been involved in one of the earlier funding rounds. He said that he liked my spirit, and he could tell I was a man of vision. I congratulated him on his astute observations, and we became fast friends. It didn't take long for Snob to turn his thoughts to business when he proposed we partner on my next venture. This would become AcMo.
Snob and I attended a new investor party at someone's home. To this day, I can't figure out how we ended up in that house. The owner may have been an investor in something, but it was nothing we had an affiliation with at the time. There is a chance that we just crashed a random party. Either way, the host was gracious and quite accommodating. While I was rummaging through the house looking for swag, I found the world's largest rubber band. Most of you can figure out what happened next.
I used two wood nails as hooks to attach the rubber band to the widest doorway we could find in the house. Then I folded an entire newspaper into a rather large projectile that was also not shaped like a pterodactyl. I stretched the band to its maximum length and learned it was at least twenty feet!? Had I bothered to do some simple calculations I would have realized that I was about to fire the equivalent of a lead bullet at a soft human before verifying that the targeting system was accurate. Those are the types of foolish mistakes I no longer make after gaining field experience. I called Snob into the room, and the moment I saw the white's of his eyes, I let the paper fly. It connected with his head and knocked him off his feet before he had enough time to register panic or fear. The impact was so fast that I didn't even see the paper deform his cranium. It was at least a few hours before he regained consciousness, and he was not the same man. I mean besides the massive bruise from the impact, we had made his brain crazy. I must bear a small part of the blame for that because I used Snob's concussed state to trick him into believing he could be Batman. I did not know he would disappear for weeks into a cave as a result. I would have told him he was Buck Rogers because then he might have built us a space ship instead of an empty bat cave.
The dilemma at this point is that I'm not sure he remembers this. I risk angering him all over again if I apologize now and he hadn't recalled the ordeal. However, if he does remember and I don't apologize, I risk having him try to ruin me all over again. I'm not prepared for combat at this time because of our rapid expansion across the country.
Making tough decisions like this is one of the many reasons why I'm in charge. After careful and reasoned deliberations, I've decided to find another rubber band and hit him in the head again. I am confident that this will knock him back to his senses and erase the vendetta he may still hold against me. If the concussion doesn't work, I can always use my robotic surgery skills to practice organ harvesting on him. He probably won't remember.
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