This post was prompted by a conversation I had with a friend of mine. He was concerned about spilling his coffee while driving. I called him a sissy. He had valid concerns regarding scalding important body parts, but he's using that as a crutch to hide his fear. This is dedicated to him and people like him who are unwilling to acknowledge their fear in public. We can't overcome our fears unless we face them. That's why I put Compensation Package in that briefcase. I was trying to help.
When I thought of the mantra, I thought if he followed that advice, he could drive at the pace he desired while not having to worry about spilling his coffee. We ran some tests with a customer's vehicle, and after the fifth time through the test loop, we were able to keep the coffee where it belonged. I downloaded our results to my friend and encouraged him to embrace his fear and try again.
He was not interested, so I had to use additional encouragement. I told him that it was impossible to improve a skill by not doing it. He challenged me by implying holding coffee while driving wasn't a reasonable skill that required improvement. THAT IS WHAT I TOLD HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! Since he had started us down this path, and development dollars had already been consumed during testing, we had to keep moving forward. That is the AcMo way.
First, we had to break for a snack. I was tired and my energy levels were low. After my snack, I took a nap. When I awoke I had him work on smoothing his steering inputs when setting up for a corner. I also noticed he had a tendency to perform pit maneuvers on slower cars that wouldn't budge from the right lane, so we worked on that as well. I suggested he get in front of them and drop spikes because that wouldn't damage his bumper and he would be clear of the ensuing mayhem. He liked the idea and is considering contracting with us for an AcMo Spy Hunter-inspired upgrade kit.
Once his steering inputs were fixed, we had to work on smoothing brake application while attaining maximum brake effectiveness. This is one of my favorite exercises when doing training. We tell each student that we have a simulated brick wall made of foam that the car must approach at 100 mph then slow and avoid in an emergency lane change maneuver. What we tell the students, and what we do are not the same. The wall is not simulated brick, but real, and it moves! It is impossible to win the emergency lane change maneuver because the wall will always be in the vehicle's path. The best any student can hope to achieve is a glancing blow. We are certain that the only way to garner tangible benefits from training is to train as if it is the real thing. That is why we had to do the live-fire exercise. Now I know which employees will not hold fast during a firefight, and which will save the day. Acting as if a simulated scenario is real, and it actually being real are never quite the same. Also, if the students knew that before starting, they would all flee. That may be a better option now that I think about it since tuition is non-refundable. It could do a lot to raise our profit margins there.
Students only ever hit a couple of the bricks, but since they're so strong, they do plenty of damage. We are fortunate to have such understanding customers who let us use their vehicles for training purposes while they are in our care. Our school couldn't survive without our generous customers. Again, I'm almost certain we received prior consent, but just in case we didn't, the agreement is part of the binding services contract we require every customer to sign before starting any work.
It is quite a sight when an airbag detonates by surprise. When I say surprise, that is a slight exaggeration because I knew we were going to hit those bricks, and I knew that would be enough to activate the airbags, but my friend still thought we were about to make first contact with foam bricks. You should have seen his face. He had about the same look anyone else would have if Mike Tyson (in his prime, oh who am I kidding? Any time) jumped out of your steering wheel and punched you in the face while yelling, "BOOM!" I should have given him the headband mounted GoPro for that one. Shoot! I'll have to remember that for next time. We do have to be careful about what footage we share because sometimes customer's may recognize their vehicles and object to the display. Oh, I know what to do. I can blur the vehicle so it won't appear on screen just like Wonder Woman's invisible jet. What? How else can she possibly be flying in a seated position? That reminds me of a Superman joke I heard a few weeks ago. That joke will have to wait for another time. I lost the moment.
We're not that far off from creating our own invisible jet. Take a look at our new friend, Vantablack, if you think we're not serious about this. The revenue streams available to us with invisible jets are way too lucrative to ignore. That would just be bad conglomerate building business. AcMo is known for a lot of questionable things, but making bad business decisions is not one of them. That's how we've survived all of these years.
Once we recovered our senses from the crash, we were right back on the training course to put everything together to make this project a success. The car sounded like the impact had knocked out a cylinder or two, but since it was still running, we decided to do more runs on the test course. Hey, if there's gas in it and it runs, we're driving it. That is also the AcMo way. I was impressed with how well my friend picked up the lessons I tried to impart because I've been told by more than a few people that I'm a horrible teacher. He was now smoother, faster, and more confident through the test course. It was quite a surprise to both of us when the coffee spilled anyway, scalding him a bit. I don't know for sure, but that's what the medical staff hinted had happened. Because of HIPAA, they aren't allowed to tell me anything, and now I can't find my friend to ask him.
I feel confident in saying that we both learned a lot of solid lessons from our training program. The best part about all of this is that I don't even like coffee. However, it should serve as a representation of the dedication I have to bolstering AcMo's revenue streams, and the tangential efforts I will make to assist a friend. Also, the biggest lesson here is that it is best to avoid coffee altogether, or to put your stupid coffee into your cupholder where it belongs right next to your stupid mobile device, and to pay attention to driving.
He was not interested, so I had to use additional encouragement. I told him that it was impossible to improve a skill by not doing it. He challenged me by implying holding coffee while driving wasn't a reasonable skill that required improvement. THAT IS WHAT I TOLD HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! Since he had started us down this path, and development dollars had already been consumed during testing, we had to keep moving forward. That is the AcMo way.
First, we had to break for a snack. I was tired and my energy levels were low. After my snack, I took a nap. When I awoke I had him work on smoothing his steering inputs when setting up for a corner. I also noticed he had a tendency to perform pit maneuvers on slower cars that wouldn't budge from the right lane, so we worked on that as well. I suggested he get in front of them and drop spikes because that wouldn't damage his bumper and he would be clear of the ensuing mayhem. He liked the idea and is considering contracting with us for an AcMo Spy Hunter-inspired upgrade kit.
Once his steering inputs were fixed, we had to work on smoothing brake application while attaining maximum brake effectiveness. This is one of my favorite exercises when doing training. We tell each student that we have a simulated brick wall made of foam that the car must approach at 100 mph then slow and avoid in an emergency lane change maneuver. What we tell the students, and what we do are not the same. The wall is not simulated brick, but real, and it moves! It is impossible to win the emergency lane change maneuver because the wall will always be in the vehicle's path. The best any student can hope to achieve is a glancing blow. We are certain that the only way to garner tangible benefits from training is to train as if it is the real thing. That is why we had to do the live-fire exercise. Now I know which employees will not hold fast during a firefight, and which will save the day. Acting as if a simulated scenario is real, and it actually being real are never quite the same. Also, if the students knew that before starting, they would all flee. That may be a better option now that I think about it since tuition is non-refundable. It could do a lot to raise our profit margins there.
Students only ever hit a couple of the bricks, but since they're so strong, they do plenty of damage. We are fortunate to have such understanding customers who let us use their vehicles for training purposes while they are in our care. Our school couldn't survive without our generous customers. Again, I'm almost certain we received prior consent, but just in case we didn't, the agreement is part of the binding services contract we require every customer to sign before starting any work.
It is quite a sight when an airbag detonates by surprise. When I say surprise, that is a slight exaggeration because I knew we were going to hit those bricks, and I knew that would be enough to activate the airbags, but my friend still thought we were about to make first contact with foam bricks. You should have seen his face. He had about the same look anyone else would have if Mike Tyson (in his prime, oh who am I kidding? Any time) jumped out of your steering wheel and punched you in the face while yelling, "BOOM!" I should have given him the headband mounted GoPro for that one. Shoot! I'll have to remember that for next time. We do have to be careful about what footage we share because sometimes customer's may recognize their vehicles and object to the display. Oh, I know what to do. I can blur the vehicle so it won't appear on screen just like Wonder Woman's invisible jet. What? How else can she possibly be flying in a seated position? That reminds me of a Superman joke I heard a few weeks ago. That joke will have to wait for another time. I lost the moment.
We're not that far off from creating our own invisible jet. Take a look at our new friend, Vantablack, if you think we're not serious about this. The revenue streams available to us with invisible jets are way too lucrative to ignore. That would just be bad conglomerate building business. AcMo is known for a lot of questionable things, but making bad business decisions is not one of them. That's how we've survived all of these years.
Once we recovered our senses from the crash, we were right back on the training course to put everything together to make this project a success. The car sounded like the impact had knocked out a cylinder or two, but since it was still running, we decided to do more runs on the test course. Hey, if there's gas in it and it runs, we're driving it. That is also the AcMo way. I was impressed with how well my friend picked up the lessons I tried to impart because I've been told by more than a few people that I'm a horrible teacher. He was now smoother, faster, and more confident through the test course. It was quite a surprise to both of us when the coffee spilled anyway, scalding him a bit. I don't know for sure, but that's what the medical staff hinted had happened. Because of HIPAA, they aren't allowed to tell me anything, and now I can't find my friend to ask him.
I feel confident in saying that we both learned a lot of solid lessons from our training program. The best part about all of this is that I don't even like coffee. However, it should serve as a representation of the dedication I have to bolstering AcMo's revenue streams, and the tangential efforts I will make to assist a friend. Also, the biggest lesson here is that it is best to avoid coffee altogether, or to put your stupid coffee into your cupholder where it belongs right next to your stupid mobile device, and to pay attention to driving.
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