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Monday, October 27, 2014

AcMo Vision

Vision is important to success.  Being able to see and understand the patterns and connect the dots can be the difference between getting run over by a school bus or making it through the crosswalk--jaywalking while on your phone is bad, people. The future is being formed all around us, but those positioned to anticipate the next direction will be in control.  The most recent tech messiah is virtual reality.  We wanted to board the hype train, but we can't find our tickets, so we looked into it from the outside. Straight off, it turns out that VR induced motion sickness is no worse than any other kind of motion sickness.  The difference I've found is that the VR induced variety causes additional side effects such as not being able to focus and an inability to walk straight for hours.  It is hard to accomplish anything while suffering from those side effects.  The worst part is trying to find the level power-ups after removing the VR headset.

We studied the business plans of the major players and researched their future product roadmaps. There was an astonishing amount of hyperbole contained therein, but not a lot of substance or viable applications.  It appears that most of the money involved is allocated for development with little hope of any of those dollars returning as profits. We can't exploit what doesn't exist, and our research indicates that the market for these VR headsets is not where it needs to be for us to profit from them.  The profit potential in manufacturing and selling action snow figures to people in tropical climates is greater than the VR market at this point.  We wasted a considerable amount of resources and time learning these conclusions. VR is an answer to a question no one has thought to ask yet.  We are unable to develop any options at this time.  Therefore, I have decided that virtual reality--can a thing that isn't even real be called a thing?--is yesterday's news.

Our extensive research illuminated the proper avenue toward success in our quest for maximizing our revenue streams.  Whenever possible we subscribe to the KISS principle.  That mantra allowed us to step back from this chaotic wormhole of fake potential to see the truth.  We are poised to introduce the biggest advancement the world has ever seen in ocular tech:  AcMo Reality Lenses™.  Our research has provided us the option of creating the best view possible.

The philosophy behind AcMo Reality Lenses™ is quite profound, yet simple.  Reality lenses allow the wearer to see exactly what the eyes see without them.  We took the concept behind the popular VR headsets and simplified that to its base form.  We eliminated cameras, display screens, power supplies, cumbersome head gear, and anything else that would interfere with the wearer's ability to see the world.  The remaining equipment was then styled to resemble a pair of spectacles, or the optional but much higher priced no lens configuration, which would just be your eyes unassisted.

AcMo Reality Lenses™bring the world back into sharp focus and remove the extraneous distractions from view. The benefit isn't restricted to one category, they have a positive impact on every aspect of life. Wind speed, heading, traffic patterns, migratory bird flight paths, runaway shopping carts, etc., can now all be derived from the best processor available:  your brain.  Say goodbye to simulation induced motion sickness.  We are taking the power back from the computers and returning it to your head piece where it belongs.  You're all welcome.

There will of course be those who resist the transition, but we will work on that.  AcMo Reality Lenses™are the perfect solution when there is a power/internet outage, or when the cloud goes down.  The AcMo Reality Lenses™ depend only upon the user being awake and conscious (coherency optional) when operating them.  Standby time is almost infinite and they wake from sleep the moment the user's eyes are opened.  The software for this project is already written and operating on hundreds of millions of beta testers worldwide.

Maybe someone else more creative can think of a viable use for VR headsets, but our researchers have indicated that a real solution is at least fifteen years away.  Instead of wasting time now being wowed by tech demos that serve no practical purpose, why not enjoy viewing the actual world through AcMo Reality Lenses™ and experience reality in the manner we were designed to experience it? 

We can help you see the future now if you'll let us into your brains and consent to 24 hour monitoring for improved product feedback.


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