This wasn't disclosed when it happened because we were keeping a low profile with Animal Control, but we were visited by a road runner(?!) not long after we acquired the coyote. Occurrences of this nature and with this frequency would normally cause panic and DEFCON 2, but we are operating on a different level now.
This particular road runner strutted into the shop meeping about how fast it was and how nobody could catch it. There was a coyote that was dying to get its hands on the bird, but it just couldn't go fast enough. The road runner mentioned that while it was exciting at first to escape the coyote all of the time, it had gotten boring. That sounded like the kind of challenge we love at AcMo, so we got to work right after we came up with valid sounding excuses for not finishing development work on our client's cars today.
At first, we were going to let the road runner talk its talk, but then I realized that Fred could take this bird in a speed race. We were confident enough in our progress so far with Fred's testing program that we set up a real-world race to showcase Fred's incredible breakaway speed against this boastful road runner. Fred doesn't talk so we do that for him while he lets his flying back up our boastful words. Before we could schedule that race, the road runner was going to have to prove itself against the coyote.
It agreed because it had beaten the coyote in every race so far. We hadn't told the road runner that the coyote was involved in our testing program and that we had been working on increasing its breakaway speed. The road runner appeared unaffected by the news when it heard. It said we didn't have the speed. We begged to differ.
It agreed because it had beaten the coyote in every race so far. We hadn't told the road runner that the coyote was involved in our testing program and that we had been working on increasing its breakaway speed. The road runner appeared unaffected by the news when it heard. It said we didn't have the speed. We begged to differ.
The test course was an empty stretch of road near HQ1 that had been closed due to the proliferation of random sinkholes. This street wasn't even safe enough for insects to walk down in daylight. Because of this there wouldn't be any law enforcement presence. This road would be perfect for vehicle testing if we could have just a modicum of reassurance that we wouldn't lose the test vehicles like the museum at GM's Corvette factory in Bowling Green, Kentucky did when that sinkhole gained unauthorized access.
If the road runner was as fast as it claimed, it should be able to zoom over any developing sink holes without issue. The coyote may have a problem, but we were sick of hearing it complain all of the time, so if something happened to it, we would be OK with that. Do NOT start emailing PETA to attack us again, please. This coyote is a menace, and has destroyed at least ten of our best rocket designs. I am also beginning to believe that coyotes are not suitable for domestication, and having one in the shop is hurting employee morale and endangering their safety because this coyote is hungry.
If the road runner was as fast as it claimed, it should be able to zoom over any developing sink holes without issue. The coyote may have a problem, but we were sick of hearing it complain all of the time, so if something happened to it, we would be OK with that. Do NOT start emailing PETA to attack us again, please. This coyote is a menace, and has destroyed at least ten of our best rocket designs. I am also beginning to believe that coyotes are not suitable for domestication, and having one in the shop is hurting employee morale and endangering their safety because this coyote is hungry.
We had wanted to equip the coyote with a set of modified twin turbos that were originally developed for another project, but that animal is not proficient enough with the equipment to safely operate it. One overboost and the coyote would be off the road, through the guardrail and down the cliff. AcMo can't be involved with that kind of publicity, so we had to come up with something else. The coyote has a strange affinity for rocket powered speed attachments, so we went with our roller skates in the first race. The controls for the boosters were automated which should have reduced the risk of operator error.
We should have recognized the numerous problems with our planned approach and aborted. We knew it at the time, but we really wanted to beat that road runner before Fred would have to race it. The coyote's Ultimate Signal Protection Head Gear fell off right before the start of the race. The coyote went insane the moment it saw the road runner. It chewed itself free from the starting line restraints and set off after its intended prey. The road runner didn't even blink at first. We thought the race was going to end before it had started, but we were wrong. The bird meeped twice and disappeared behind a cloud of smoke as it accelerated down the test route. It almost looked like the road runner was smiling. Its acceleration was breathtaking. We forgot to hook up the sensors to receive telemetry so we don't know exactly how fast it was moving, but it looked like Fred could be in for a challenge.
Our extensive testing has indicated that coyotes may not have been meant to utilize rocket propulsion. The rocket boosters are set to activate after five strides. This is a safeguard to prevent full burn if the skater is falling or not accelerating. Our animal whisperer explained this several times to the coyote before the start. We took its gnawing of the translator's arm to mean it understood. That was another mistake.
Two strides into its panicked start to try to make up ground on the rapidly disappearing road runner, the situation collapsed. The right booster fired. We haven't been able to retrieve any data, but the fault has to be with the coyote and not our equipment. The imbalance caused the coyote to begin a pirouette that increased in speed. Soon after, the left booster fired and the coyote went airborne. At least we can be proud that we were able to achieve a brief coyote flight.
There was just enough forward momentum from the coyote to cause it to spin into one of the existing sinkholes. It occurred to me now that we should have checked our insurance coverage before we agreed to race. The coyote disappeared for a few seconds and everything went quiet. We thought that was it, but the coyote launched out of the hole and soared into the air, spinning the entire time. An outside observer would have thought this was the most talented coyote ever, but we knew better. The situation was out of control. The engineers hit the emergency kill switch, but it was hooked up to the other rocket boosters we didn't use for this test.
We tried to save the coyote, but it was uncooperative, and we couldn't get close enough to it at that speed to do anything. We had to watch in horror as it spun itself over the guardrail and off the edge of the cliff. It carried a decent amount of forward momentum, it almost appeared as if it was going to clear the gap, but then the rockets shut down. The coyote's forlorn expression said everything. It knew what was about to happen. It looked in our direction and seemed to wave as it started to fall toward the ground.
A lot of time people are caught for doing something they shouldn't have been because they don't have enough sense to stay away from the scene. We packed our gear into the transport and made a quick return to HQ1. There was not any chance the coyote could have survived, the road runner never returned to the start finish line, and our rocket boosters were surely junk after a crash from that altitude, so it didn't make sense to stay.
This failed test was an invaluable teaching tool. We learned that we should stick to our core competencies, and avoid dealing with untamed animals. This experience fortifies my belief that we should stop branding our prototypes also because when these situations occur the authorities question is first.
That road runner was just as fast as it meeped it was. Now I don't know if Fred has the necessary speed to beat it. We are going to work on maximizing Fred's cooling and increasing his boost pressure so we can show that road runner what a fast bird is if we ever see it again.
Our extensive testing has indicated that coyotes may not have been meant to utilize rocket propulsion. The rocket boosters are set to activate after five strides. This is a safeguard to prevent full burn if the skater is falling or not accelerating. Our animal whisperer explained this several times to the coyote before the start. We took its gnawing of the translator's arm to mean it understood. That was another mistake.
Two strides into its panicked start to try to make up ground on the rapidly disappearing road runner, the situation collapsed. The right booster fired. We haven't been able to retrieve any data, but the fault has to be with the coyote and not our equipment. The imbalance caused the coyote to begin a pirouette that increased in speed. Soon after, the left booster fired and the coyote went airborne. At least we can be proud that we were able to achieve a brief coyote flight.
There was just enough forward momentum from the coyote to cause it to spin into one of the existing sinkholes. It occurred to me now that we should have checked our insurance coverage before we agreed to race. The coyote disappeared for a few seconds and everything went quiet. We thought that was it, but the coyote launched out of the hole and soared into the air, spinning the entire time. An outside observer would have thought this was the most talented coyote ever, but we knew better. The situation was out of control. The engineers hit the emergency kill switch, but it was hooked up to the other rocket boosters we didn't use for this test.
We tried to save the coyote, but it was uncooperative, and we couldn't get close enough to it at that speed to do anything. We had to watch in horror as it spun itself over the guardrail and off the edge of the cliff. It carried a decent amount of forward momentum, it almost appeared as if it was going to clear the gap, but then the rockets shut down. The coyote's forlorn expression said everything. It knew what was about to happen. It looked in our direction and seemed to wave as it started to fall toward the ground.
A lot of time people are caught for doing something they shouldn't have been because they don't have enough sense to stay away from the scene. We packed our gear into the transport and made a quick return to HQ1. There was not any chance the coyote could have survived, the road runner never returned to the start finish line, and our rocket boosters were surely junk after a crash from that altitude, so it didn't make sense to stay.
This failed test was an invaluable teaching tool. We learned that we should stick to our core competencies, and avoid dealing with untamed animals. This experience fortifies my belief that we should stop branding our prototypes also because when these situations occur the authorities question is first.
That road runner was just as fast as it meeped it was. Now I don't know if Fred has the necessary speed to beat it. We are going to work on maximizing Fred's cooling and increasing his boost pressure so we can show that road runner what a fast bird is if we ever see it again.
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