AcMo Track Starter Pack

Everyone starts at the beginning; not everyone’s start is from the same place though.  Some people have to discover a new craft without the benefit of the knowledge of those who have already learned it.  Foolish people refuse to heed the advice of those with experience.  AcMo can accelerate a driver’s track education with our advice and hard fought experience.  The first lesson--provided at no additional charge--is that track driving is expensive.

Leave the car out of the equation because you can buy a cheap one—there are whole race series designed around $500 cars—the remaining variables multiply the costs in a manner worthy of AcMo’s acceleration.  Our unique methodology is predicated on an accurate assessment based on the first lesson.  That lesson often separates the poseurs from the track day heroes.  Once the prospective track driver has digested the knowledge that tracking is expensive, we can get to work on creating a budget tailored to the driver’s specific requirements.  We do this by asking a simple question, are you a baller?

If yes, we supply you with the most expensive equipment and heap on a bunch of extras you don’t want or need.  This is often achieved by applying gold foil to everything in sight.  We do this because the markup on the baller items is too good for us to ignore.  If you do not consider yourself a baller, you are provided with the finest shop discards—because they are worn out, broken, defective, or all of those—and whatever we can find from the discount bins out back.  We supply a suitable kit regardless of budget and involvement level.

The moment of revelation on the track almost always fuels an intense need to dive in without checking the water depth.  Since several friends of AcMo have been injured doing just that, we always check the depth before entering the pool.  We also do recon for sharks if we’re at the ocean because I cannot stress enough how dangerous sharks are.  This is the most difficult aspect of the entire track experience.  It will bleed the unsuspecting dry.  We do our best to intervene before that happens because we hate to see good funds go to waste when they could have been diverted toward funding AcMo space exploration.

C. Scagnetti's response was no different from all of the others we’ve seen after his recent track experience.  He was searching for track-dedicated vehicles before the weekend had concluded.  His enthusiasm made us realize that we need to offer a starter kit for new track enthusiasts.  The kit is designed to get you running as efficiently as possible whatever your budget.

I have provided a simple breakdown of the essential elements of the starter pack to give you an idea where your dollars will be flowing.  The entire list of contents is proprietary, so the only way to see everything is to join AcMo and purchase your very own pack.

• Low-profile jack an expensive one for the ballers, or whatever we have at the shop that we no longer want that we can offload for a nice markup.
• Torque wrench.  No legitimate track attendee would be caught leaving the house without a solid torque wrench.  Baller: gold plated torque wrench.
•  Jackpoint jackstands.   
• Socket set.
• Impact tools cordless, pneumatic, or both.
•  Inflatable test dummy with integrated sensors and cameras to allow remote instruction to keep you safe from harm. New track drivers are dangerous! We don't want to be inside a car with somebody who doesn't know what's happening.  More details on this are below.
• Helmet and HANS device.
• Data logging equipment and video/audio recorders.  We use the latest and greatest gadgets in your car so we can see what works best for our personal vehicles.  You pay us to test products for us.
• Oh yeah, a suitable track vehicle. We can procure one for you, or you can use one of your own, or you can find it on your own.

We handle all essential track preparation including, but not limited to:  safety harness installation, fire suppression, emergency cut off switch installation, chassis reinforcement, 3-wheel alignment (the 4^th is extra), and comprehensive engine teardown.

Once we have sold our most expensive transport and logistics package based on the client’s budget, we work out how much extra it will cost to get the vehicle to the track.  The fee is based on distance traveled, time away from home, ambient temperature (Scagnetti lives in a hot climate which is not good for our health, so his transport costs will be higher), whether we’ve been banned from the track the client plans to visit, and if we’re in the mood.  Sometimes we just can’t be bothered.

We run our track day independent of the schedule provided by the event organizers.  The rigid structure of sessions and run groups interferes with our free thinking nature.  We put our drivers on track whenever they are ready and for however long they can stand it.  The only limiting factor is fuel consumption and vehicle malfunctions.  We have contingencies for both.  In the case of a lack of fuel, the driver is instructed to leave the car on track and find another in the paddock with more fuel.  This is an effective way to upgrade vehicles.

The tools in the kit are more for potential problems, and many times none of it will be necessary.  This is another area where our vast experience benefits our customers.  The time you need an item and don’t have it can end the weekend early.  That is why we transport enough spares to build an additional car at each event.  We also try to make sure there are at least three other similar cars participating so we can scavenge parts during lunch.

AcMo instructional services function to train drivers toward becoming AcMo certified.  The first thing we do when we arrive at a track is assemble our inflatable virtual instructor.  We have both male and female instructors available, so it is up to the client’s preference who rides along in the passenger seat.  We have had too many scary incidents while instructing from the passenger seat to ever get involved in that again.  The test dummy has cameras mounted in its eye sockets, microphones in each ear, and a small speaker in place of its mouth.  This allows us to see and hear what is happening in the car as if we were there, which we are not.

The test dummy’s priority is to put the client at ease and allow focus to remain on driving the car.  We don’t start barking instructions and flailing the dummy’s arms until after the warm up lap has concluded.  The dummy’s mood and demeanor is dependent upon the amount of air we were able to use to fill it.  A less inflated dummy is more pliable during a crash, but also a lot more unfriendly.  The properly inflated dummy is polite, courteous, and gentle with driving instructions.  The properly inflated one is prone to falling asleep during your sessions though.  We have been experimenting with the correct amount of air to provide the best experience.  That is a work in progress.

Strap into the driver’s seat—we show you how the belts work and how to take them off in an emergency.  Greet your test dummy, but DO NOT make direct eye contact.  That is a sign of aggression and gets the session started in a negative fashion.  Resist the urge to make any sudden movements, and follow the dummy’s instructions exactly.  I almost forgot that because we have worked with robotics in the past, the dummy’s skeleton is made from the shell of several remote controlled toy robots.  This allows it to move its arms and kick at the driver in case of a loss of consciousness.  We have also installed a light voltage cattle prod into the dummy’s finger tip to help guide difficult students.

Once strapped in and with the car running, it is time to enter the track if we haven’t been banned from the event yet.  This is where it gets interesting.  We instruct the driver to hold onto the wheel for dear life and mash the throttle until something happens.  Open eyes are optional during the warm up phase.  On lap two, it is mandatory to open the eyes and focus on the general trajectory of the car.  We use this lap to assess the driver’s current skill level and decide if the budget allows for the intensive instruction necessary for improvement.

We do all of this from the comfort of our air conditioned motor coach.  This keeps us safe from any track mishaps and the nosy officials who are always looking to have us ejected from the event.  Instructing new track drivers takes a lot of patience and effort.  We do not have much of either at AcMo, so we limit our client roster to three or four drivers per year.  We make up on any revenue short falls by overcharging using the same calculations government contractors use to pillage congressional funds.  So far it has worked out well for our track instructional program.

There are only two remaining spots available for the 2015 track driving session.  Send in your application now for a chance to learn how to become the driver you’ve always wanted to be.