Building Blocks

Miracle Monday is real thanks to a minor time manipulation.  I am now a believer that real miracles occur according to the people who report them.  Just when I thought I was going to have to shutter the Scuderia AcMo glue factory and make secondary staff redundancies, a miracle appeared to save them.

I suspect that the problem with our block F-One car is that the construction process is difficult and tedious.  I would have suggested a robot assembly line, but since robots can’t be trusted and like to unionize, that’s a no go.  The glue adds an extra layer of thickness and strength to the chassis, but it also complicates construction because of the noxious fumes and the insane curing time of four months.  I don't think Snob knew any of this before he volunteered to become team leader on this project.  Had he asked me, I would have told him all of the above before he started. That's how you get into situations that are way above your expertise.

I think that the pressure is starting to get to him.  I’m convinced that’s why he refuses to send progress reports.  I have found the panacea for his complaints during my research into replacements for him.  While I couldn’t find anyone willing to take over his duties, I did locate a solution to the assembly problem.  Carbon fiber blocks--the exact type he needs--are being constructed!  Carbon Fiber to the Rescue!  Consider them the ultimate power ups.  Now the team can build a real block based F-One car and maybe pass the crash tests!  I discovered this last Friday, but since Snob is stingy with his progress reports, I decided to let him sweat it out over the weekend before letting him know he was going to be involved in a lot more building.

  

Snob's refusal to share project milestones and projections has hurt AcMo's 2015 forecasting abilities. The information is required for our quarterly reports and 2015 sales numbers.  This is the time of year all of those numbers are fabricated and Snob knows this.  It will be impossible to attract new sponsorship dollars if we don’t have believable numbers before January 1^st.  I don’t appreciate being in this position.

The joy of my CF block discovery was tempered by the realization that it was not yet reality, but a Kickstarter project.  This is troubling because I had hoped to be able to ship the blocks this week so that they would arrive in time for Christmas.  Snob wouldn’t be able to take the day off if he knew he had the required materials to build more cars.

A solid product demo, coherent spokesperson, and a gripping product description on Kickstarter don’t always equate to a sales sensation.  AcMo Scuderia F-One needs those blocks but can’t risk investing in additional failed products.  The team can mitigate the potential difficulties by prevailing on the general public to send out their dollars with the knowledge that they may never return.

Investing in the dream makes each investor a part of that dream.  It also alleviates some pressure if the dream turns into a nightmare.  It always helps to have a lot of people to share the pain.  Right now we don’t have any reason to think the CF block maker won’t succeed.  This discovery could be the ultimate unfair advantage if we can become the sole customer.

All strategies at AcMo are fluid.  We’re never tied to one industry or one method of operating.  However, there is a guiding principle motivating all of our movements.  Total control.  A possible maneuver presented itself while analyzing the situation and considering the available options.  AcMo is going to take CF block production in house.  We will wait until the project is almost funded on Kickstarter before making our move.

AcMo is able to leverage assets to persuade almost anyone to do anything.  We will use the expertise gained from years of practice to procure the rights to the processes involved in the CF block creation, and we will also co-opt the rights of the manufacturer.  At that point, he will have no choice but to bring his Kickstarter money and himself to AcMo.  We will put him to work in the 3D printer room and enjoy the satisfaction from having performed another ingenious move.

The truly ingenious part is that we will be the sole distributors of these blocks, so we will be able to set the market wherever we want.  Given the budgets in F1, the team is going to have to pay big money in order to get almost enough blocks to build an adequate number of cars for the season.  We will withhold the full order until we have received payment plus 20%.  Some F1 teams have a reputation for failing to pay their suppliers, and AcMo is determined to avoid joining that group of disgruntled suppliers waiting for their payments.

The sponsorship dollars that Snob must be receiving will be able to cover the bill for the CF blocks and will provide us a profit since we will be paying the block builder in AcMo dollars that still don’t have actual value because we can’t get the government to recognize them.  I’m certain it’s just a matter of time because AcMo dollars are just like Bitcoins, only more stable.

I have to give myself all of the credit on this one.  I will be able to utilize the CF blocks as bargaining chips to encourage Snob to file his progress reports on time or even early.  That will give me even more freedom to manipulate the spreadsheets to display numbers that will keep the investors happy for another quarter or two.

The unique AcMo construction approach will be considered a step-change in the F1 paradigm.  We are going to revolutionize time to market and the speed of the cars.  The speed is going to increase because we are not going to follow the engine or tire rules and our car will be up to 3400% lighter than current F1 cars.  The lead ballast we use to bring the cars up to minimum weight is designed to fall out on the grid just before the start of the race.  The driver will pick up the ballast on the last lap to make the minimum weight for post race scrutineering.  That’s all of the race strategy I can divulge at this time.  We have several more innovative ideas waiting to be tested.

The first order of business right after chassis 1 is completed is to figure out if it will hold together.  These cars don’t crash themselves yet, so we are going to need to nominate a crash test driver to handle FIA crash certification.  I have some thoughts on who could do that, but it needs to be a surprise if it is going to work.