Flow Control

It only takes one rogue gust to ruin your day.

Airflow is an unseen force that can wreak havoc at any time.  It is important to get the small details correct or big things can go wrong.  I’ve spent some time in wind tunnels and have discovered that I’m not as aerodynamic as I thought.  I’ve taken my test results and developed new processes based on the data.  This is all in an effort to aid the general public and keep cars on the ground until the FAA has cleared them to fly.

Until that time arrives we have been working on keeping cars glued to the tarmac without having to resort to using actual glue.  The team had been tasked with creating a mechanism to manipulate airflow around a vehicle to influence the vehicle’s performance characteristics.  This was an offshoot of a high-level project to develop a weather controller to eliminate global warming by turning down the temperature.

Results have not been forthcoming, but I realized that we had a unique opportunity available to us.  There was an opening to combine the marketing efforts to use one campaign to cover all flow control related projects.  It is difficult for me to accept the importance of the marketing department, and marketing in general, so I seize every chance I can to make AcMo’s dollars do as much extra effort as possible in regards to marketing initiatives.

We have been learning about weather control and the source of wind’s power with the goal of mastering it.  This is even more difficult and ambitious than some of our other projects.  I am confident we will be rewarded for our efforts as long as we continue to attempt the impossible.  The potential competition applications are staggering.  I salivate whenever I consider how much more effective AcMo branded cars can be if they can generate and control their own airflow.  Unlimited on-demand downforce would become a reality for the chosen few.

Mental flow control for people may be more important than automobile aerodynamics.  It allows for the creation of important thoughts and prevents accidental spillage out of the brain at inopportune moments.  It is an essential tool for creative minds.  The common misconception is that certain people are just more creative than others.  I have done extensive research on this topic because it is important to nurture any and all competitive advantages.  My conclusion, based on my expert opinion, is that the difference between creative and non-creative types is the creative thought flow control valve.

The rigid non-creative types are victims of defective factory equipment.  Everyone is creative by nature, but those who have broken valves have a harder time harnessing their creativity.  Even “creative” people sometimes have trouble opening their valves at the appropriate time.

Of course AcMo has the answer to this dilemma and can unlock the creative potential in any individual with a brief, but extremely invasive operation to repair the damaged valve.  Once the flow control valve is patched, the hard work begins.  Through the AcMo program, users are trained on how to control their valves for maximum performance.

The numerous setbacks on this project forced us to look at the complex problems from multiple perspectives.  That refocusing created the mental flow control valve division.  Tweaking just a few words in the marketing materials, and removing all references to automobiles has allowed us to recycle the work without having to pay for it again.  That is the definition of an AcMo win.

I wouldn’t introduce the thought of neurosurgery unless I knew it was safe.  The only way I could know for sure was to examine my own flow control valve.  It turns out that there was evidence of residual damage from the crash of ’04.  The damage hampered precise flow control, but it was still functioning at perhaps 47%.  The most troubling symptom was an intermittent stuck closed valve.  It stopped responding to control inputs so I would either have periods of complete creativity, or darkness.  I couldn’t control it or even anticipate what was going to happen when.

The surgery only took a few minutes, the hardest part was wiring the battery and switch for the valve.  While it is not fun to carry the external battery pack all of the time, it is nice to have a power source on hand to charge my phone, computer, and jump start a vehicle if necessary.  I am hopeful that version 10 will have onboard power that has kinetic charging capability.

So far the side effects have been as expected.  The lack of visual focus, drooling, and electrified hair should dissipate as my internal systems regulate to the new electromagnetic field values.  The unexpected benefit from this project is that I am beginning to have a better understanding on just what will be required to control metals with my body.

AcMo is willing to give away this amazing mental flow control valve free of charge because we know that creating a legion of creative people can empower the world.  That’s also why we’re pushing so hard to blanket the planet with wireless Internet signals.  We’ll be able to control that and everyone who has implanted a valve when the time comes.