Friday Fun Day

AcMo is always adapting to harsh market and traffic conditions.  We have a high speed tank in development to alleviate most of our commuting problems, but keeping the staff engaged requires a bit more of a delicate approach. That's why today was bring your llama or porcupine to work day.  Naturally no one has either of those animals and that makes the day fun for me.  I provide the appearance of caring to generate goodwill with the staff and fool them into thinking I am a fun overlord while not being forced to actually be fun.

This strategy will eventually become a problem when someone decides to secure a llama and/or porcupine for Friday shenanigans. I wouldn't mind if we could turbocharge one or both of them, but the data indicated we wouldn't see significant boosts in speed or acceleration.  Besides, we have too many active animal projects this quarter. 

I've heard llamas are environmentally friendly lawnmowers, so perhaps I am overlooking a revenue stream with my policy. AcMo can contract with area tracks to join our llama-mowing program.  Of course I would be willing to barter in exchange for payment.  I could get AcMo unbanned from a number of facilities by using llama-mowers.

The beauty of llamas is that they are not suicidal like deer, opossums, and kangaroos.  I will not share the photographic evidence of the kangaroo and opossum that met their demise as a result of on-track incidents.  I'm far more considerate than the type of person who would challenge me to view the entire list of the 20 most terrifying spiders on Earth.  Of course I declined because I don't like nightmares and I’m also not willing to put a mirror in front of my face to keep my neck protected in perpetuity.  I dare you to view the whole list.

Llamas’ easy-going demeanor will allow them to mow during on-track activity.  Right now that isn’t possible with traditional mowing solutions.  Llamas don't scare easily so they shouldn't panic if a car happens to go off-track in their vicinity.  A fleet of llama-mowers is safer for participants, the environment, and the llamas while also being more economical than how we do it now with client vehicles.  If this works it will change the meaning of Friday fun day forever.

Some of you may not be convinced that llama-mowers are the correct approach.  I brought some compelling evidence to sway you into getting your minds right.  These photos depict a timespan of five minutes.  The first picture shows the llamas before they’ve transformed into their ultimate form.  The final picture illustrates just how effective llama-mowers can be.

Transformation takes no more than 30 seconds depending on the temperature and humidity during the process.  Transformation has been 73% successful during our studies.  Of course your results may be better or worse than the published benchmarks.

The transformation process causes the grass to grow and change color.  That is normal and an anticipated by-product.  There is no reason to panic.

This is the same area five minutes later.  Untethered llama-mowers are a powerful force.  Let AcMo put that force to work at your track venue today.  We can keep your grass in check and looking professional for less.