Pro

Despite my best motivational techniques, which included a pet wolverine for the winner, we still don't have anyone on the AcMo squad who is close to becoming a pro stepper.  This is heartbraking--that isn't a typo, it actually slows my heart rate to feel this way--because it is a clear indication that my motivational techniques are failing.  A great leader must stand strong in the face of irrefutable evidence in order to kindle doubt in others.  Perhaps the evidence isn't as solid as everyone thinks.  The problem isn't my motivational techniques, it is the motivation level of the staff.  Quality people are difficult to retain under duress.

Worricker is a perfect example of a pro stepper.  If only all of AcMo's personnel could walk like that.  We would all get places so much better than we do now with our shuffle steps.

MASTERPIECE | Worricker: A Scene from Turks & Caicos | PBS

Any organization needs someone at some level to be considered a pro at something for continued success, and I think I have discovered AcMo's forte:  procrastinating. A crastonator is someone who goes about their tasks with a slight delay and is thus considered mediocre. Anyone can be mediocre without much effort. It takes special skill to elevate to the next level. 

I was supposed to replace a tire wall at a track somewhere late last year.  The job was assigned to me because there might have been an off-track field trip that resulted in damage to the tire wall.  This might have involved an uncontrolled AcMo vehicle, but the camera footage is too grainy to make a positive identification.  I volunteered to plead no contest and help rebuild the tire wall so that AcMo could garner some goodwill and avoid being banned from another motorsports facility.

Those cones are begging to be hit.

Because of my legal acumen, I never signed any documents, and I also never specified a completion date for this.  I have been waiting for the 2015 driving season to start because I am hopeful the track officials will have forgotten AcMo's name by then.  While waiting for that to happen, I found out earlier today that this beauty is for sale:

Because I am now in control of a PROcrastinating operation, I can't act on a purchase plan for at least another six years.  I'm sure the vehicle will no longer be available in that time frame.  My pro status would be in jeopardy if I move too fast on anything, and I can't risk the shame of being stripped of such an important title. 

I wish I had looked into acquiring my procrastinating status sooner because it has freed me to do so much less in so much more time.  It is liberating knowing I could do that now, but I could also do it later, or not at all.  That's true power right there, and we all know what power does in the wrong hands.