Lemon Lizard

My knowledge base when it comes to animals is predicated on the understanding that it is in my best interest to avoid them at all costs.  This is why I’m not familiar with the names of the local lions, and also why I do not have a familiar relationship with the cougar that circles HQ1 on occasion.  Even though we now have a Yeti on the payroll, I do not know if it is equipped to fight with feline predators.

This lack of facts on my part turned into a slight problem today when I discovered a new to me species of lizard.  My instincts told me to run until I could no longer run, but my brain had different ideas.  My brain told me I needed to examine this find with child-like curiosity to learn its behavior.  Perhaps I could divine some secrets of nature that could apply to AcMo’s natural science projects.  We are still keen on developing technology that could allow us to walk up walls without being forced to wear special boots.  That technology would improve our maneuverability while in zero gravity environments or just bored and looking for something new to try.

Lizzie the Lemon Lizard was a rare find.  She is skilled at camouflage and has the ability to blend in with her surroundings.  You can be forgiven for not immediately noticing her in the above picture because I was holding the lemon she was on for five minutes before I realized it was moving on its own.  After the lemon bounced off the far wall when I panicked and threw it, I noticed that Lizzie was quite elastic.  This is a trait I didn’t realize lizards possessed.

As far as anyone knows, lemon lizards don’t exist.  They are even more rare than unicorns.  The most obvious question is whether or not lemon lizards are sour.  I can report with great certainty that Lizzie is not sour.  She has a cheerful demeanor and is always happy to see a friendly face.  I know this because Lizzie hit me in the hand with her tongue every single time I got close to her.  I think this means she wants to be my friend, but I don’t speak lizard, so I could be wrong about that.

It is hard to predict the movement patterns of a lemon lizard because they don’t exist in sufficient numbers to establish a baseline.  What I can determine is that they prefer to nest on top of lemons, which might be how they acquired the name.  They also like dark countertops during the afternoon sun hours.  This may be a ploy to garner more attention since Lizzie and her relatives stand out so much against darker backgrounds.

There are any number of ways we can use the data from Lizzie to augment our revenue streams.  Right at this moment I’m at a loss, but I know something will pop at some point.  I have been able to secure Lizzie’s service for a guaranteed supply of lemons for her to use as nests while I figure out how to plug her in to one of our research programs.

AcMo cares about the future of the planet, and we will do everything we can to make sure that future has lemon lizards in it.  The farmers who grow lemons may not be happy with our work if it impacts their ability to grow lemons or adds additional feed costs when they have to start taking care of lemon lizards in addition to lemons.  That is a problem that can be solved by legislative means.