The Sharpest Blade

The sharpest blade can only be considered above normal if inferior examples exist.   Just as there are sharp and dull blades, there are sharp and dull people.  This is why I surround myself with people who are less intelligent because I wouldn’t be able to shine otherwise.  Identifying which is in front of you can be quite difficult.  I used to wait until I felt the blade on my skin before deciding if it was sharp or not, but that turned out to be bad for my skin.  Dull people are easier to spot because they are usually the ones whose facial expressions betray that their inner cores are hollow.  Plus you can hear the echo in their heads when you speak to them.

AcMo has begun a small training course that teaches executives the ways of the samurai.  We have found an unexpected benefit to swords, which is why we are pushing some executives to become sword masters.  I find sword mastery opens new perspectives and commands a great deal of respect.  Wielding a weapon such as a samurai sword is an almost unbeatable sales tool.  I find that flashing the blade opens budgets and shortens negotiations.  People lose the desire to continue saying no when the sword is confirmed to be real.  I just wish I had known this when I was negotiating my first contract with Snob Duben.  The sight of a finely sharpened blade slicing through a competitor’s conference room table is impressive.  It also backs down the security guards right away. 

The power of the sword is not in its sharpness, but in its implicit threat of grievous bodily harm.  That’s all we’ve needed after slicing through the table.  Even our toughest negotiations eased once we learned the secrets of the samurai.  We have even gone as far as changing our dress code to allow for the use of traditional samurai garb at AcMo.  It is never enough to just be the part if you don’t also look the part.

Now everyone will know that we mean serious business when we show up in the conference room.  I’m tired of being laughed out of meetings while hearing people claim we were unprepared.  Everyone will remember how prepared our swords are after the next meeting.  I hate to think about how ugly the situation could get if I’m not happy with the results.  AcMo has never been afraid to attack when provoked.

We have even been examining the benefits of armoring our animals.  There is some concern that the armor will embolden them to the point of insurrection, but we have super sharp swords, why would they want to go up against those?

Even samurais need to relax and show off their foot skills.

Expect to see new Armored AcMo staff soon.  Remember do not panic, AcMo employees will not attack unless first provoked.  We're a lot like angry bees in that way.