Scuderia AcMo F-One

A classically mismanaged company that survives anyway would be familiar with benefits of reorganization.  The process enables a company to shed its sullied name, maintain its current mismanaged operations, ditch a whole bunch of excess employees, and emerge as an entirely new entity that is absolutely deserving of additional investment.  AcMo is well versed in the art of strategic reorganizations.  Usually—but not always—we know when a re-org is required because we are that forward thinking.

2015 arrived with a request sent through the shop window from Snob Duben at our F-One factory.  He wondered if we might be able to supply him with some heat to keep the factory interior temperature above freezing.  I would have liked to accommodate his request, but it was beyond our capability at the time.  The complex composites we supplied were unstable at most temperatures.  The probability of spontaneous combustion dropped to 70% when the materials were kept at or below freezing.  I said as much when I wrote, “no” for a response, and I thought that would be the end of the matter.

Snob replied with more demands less than two weeks after the first message, and they were outrageous.  He asked for an additional rail gun, a stratotanker, a couple of Go Pros, and a film script featuring him as the protagonist.  The moment I received that message, I knew the dream of an AcMo affiliated F-One team had died, but I went into denial mode to ignore the defeat.

Denial mode is always broken by reality after the weight becomes too much to handle.  I had been avoiding the surveillance feeds because I wanted to believe that Snob was hard at work making our F-One cars.  Instead, my ignorant bliss was shattered when I finally relented and viewed the feeds.

Building anything as complex as a plastic racecar takes a unique amount of mental fortitude.  Similar to being stuck in the quiet room for hours, the solitary nature of the work has been known to drive people mad.  I suspected that could be a possible outcome of our work, but I thought I had taken appropriate measures to guard against a repeat of the Isotoner incident of 2009.  I overestimated my preparedness when I became aware of the truth.

The contract stipulated a build identical to this except with AcMo's sponsor's logos plastered on every semi-flat surface:

We were also supposed to have brakes, wheels, a driver, and hopefully a steering wheel as long as there was enough material left over after completion of the other items.  I know I was asking for a lot, but it was all for the mission.

Instead of recovering a completed car, we found this in our abandoned factory:

I was appalled when I saw that the kit was nowhere near the size we specified.  I doubt that little car would fool Mr. E. or the other teams.  Snob’s madness was evident the second I saw the mess of parts.  There are too many wheels for the car.  Snob didn't even have the courtesy to leave behind a "Gone Fishin’!" note to let us know what had happened.  My forensic analysis of the scene indicated that Snob realized he couldn’t deliver the cars, and just mentally shut down.  His departure is the epitome of a setback, but this tale transcends a mere setback.  He also absconded with the primary rail gun, and the plans for an undisclosed project.

The decision to entrust him with so much high-level data was a mistake in hindsight, but he told me we could trust him.  I realize now that he may have been lying when he said that.  I hope to ask him when we locate him.

I’ve been scrambling for months trying to find someone brave enough to pick up the pieces and finish the job Snob started.  All of my headhunting efforts have failed with dire consequences.  There is a slight chance that I may have been doing the hunting thing wrong, but I doubt it.

The answer to our constructor issue may have been hiding in our stasis facility all of this time.  Since CKC can weld metal, he must be able to weld plastic as well.  If not, I’m certain we can matrix some plastic welding techniques into his head while he “rests” in stasis.  Then we can finish this project and take our rightful place at the front of the grid before the other teams with actual cars appear.  We’ll just reorganize again if that fails.