This information is based on vague reports I've been able to gather over the years. The Switch Inspector Guild was created when a few wise electricians realized they needed a trusted group to oversee their switch installations. The job was initially handled by other electricians, but it became clear that an objective party was needed to assess the efficacy of a switch. Thus, the Switch Inspector Guild was born and staffed with non-electricians. The only formal requirement was a capability to flip switches. It was natural for this guild to flourish alongside electricians until envy and jealousy permeated the group. It is the switch inspector who has the fulfilling job of flipping switches, and taking credit when something happens because of a flipped switch. This lead to a rift between electricians and switch inspectors similar in magnitude to the disagreement between the knights templar and assassins. I was told that some electricians intentionally mis-wired switches in order to shock unsuspecting inspectors.
All you need to know is that you should beware the switch inspectors. There are always two: a master and apprentice. That arrangement protects their traditions and customs from obsolescence and helps to maintain their covert nature. At least that is what I was told by someone who claimed to be a switch inspector.
Switch inspectors enter your home to inspect your switches, but that isn't the whole story. I discovered the truth when two switch inspectors demanded access to my HQ. They said their names were Lancelot and Gawain--I now believe that these were aliases but I don't know for certain because they didn't have identification. They only appeared to be interested in two switches: the overhead fan switch and the self destruct swob (switch + knob). Yeah, I didn't know what a swob was either, but the Lancelot explained it to me. He is an expert on switches.
They have a mandate: seek out and flip every switch possible. In the process of flipping switches, they may attack the same switch multiple times just to be certain it pass inspection. Switch inspectors share a high energy, frenetic paced enthusiasm for their task. They are often curious and fearless, sort of like honey badgers, I guess.
Gawain's eyes almost exploded when he was given the task of finding and flipping the SDS. He had been obsessed with shutting down or reversing the flow of our cooling fans until the SDS became a priority. I repeatedly explained that hitting the SDS while we were in the house would result in instant incineration for all of us, but neither he or Lancelot seemed to care. The switch flip is all that matters to a switch inspector.
I had hoped the switch inspectors would have solved a switch mystery that has plagued me for years. We have two switches that appear to lack purpose. My methodical and rigorous testing has failed to yield an acceptable answer. I can't prove it, but my current working hypothesis is that these switches control lights in Alaska.
Gawain's eyes almost exploded when he was given the task of finding and flipping the SDS. He had been obsessed with shutting down or reversing the flow of our cooling fans until the SDS became a priority. I repeatedly explained that hitting the SDS while we were in the house would result in instant incineration for all of us, but neither he or Lancelot seemed to care. The switch flip is all that matters to a switch inspector.
I had hoped the switch inspectors would have solved a switch mystery that has plagued me for years. We have two switches that appear to lack purpose. My methodical and rigorous testing has failed to yield an acceptable answer. I can't prove it, but my current working hypothesis is that these switches control lights in Alaska.
It took weeks to rewire and relocate all of the switches. I had to raise several so that the switch inspectors couldn't reach them, and I had to disguise the self destruct swob with clever stickers. That was a lot of work because each room has an average of 10 switches.
I initially encountered the switch inspectors 3 years ago. It was nerve wracking watching them search for the most dangerous switch in AcMo's HQ, but I couldn't stop them because they had official paperwork authorizing their search. I later discovered that Gawain couldn't even read at the time, and he was the one who had presented their papers. Fool me once...
This information is being made available to the public for the first time because I have encountered those same switch inspectors several more times, and their interest in flipping the SDS has not diminished over the years. Pay close attention if your home is invaded by switch inspectors. They will not stop until they have accomplished their mission. Fortunately, I now have advanced warning whenever the inspectors are inbound, so I always more the SDS before they arrive. I imagine that tactic isn't going to work forever though.
I initially encountered the switch inspectors 3 years ago. It was nerve wracking watching them search for the most dangerous switch in AcMo's HQ, but I couldn't stop them because they had official paperwork authorizing their search. I later discovered that Gawain couldn't even read at the time, and he was the one who had presented their papers. Fool me once...
This information is being made available to the public for the first time because I have encountered those same switch inspectors several more times, and their interest in flipping the SDS has not diminished over the years. Pay close attention if your home is invaded by switch inspectors. They will not stop until they have accomplished their mission. Fortunately, I now have advanced warning whenever the inspectors are inbound, so I always more the SDS before they arrive. I imagine that tactic isn't going to work forever though.
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