ONE THOUSAND Words

Why, even with inflation, has the value of a picture never increased from its original value of ONE THOUSAND words?  It is time for that to change. I'm sure there were auctions in the past designed to establish picture to word market value, but those have failed to gain mainstream acceptance.  The right picture should be worth a million or even a billion words.  I've often heard people say that an object is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it.  But that was before AcMo embarked on the most audacious project in its existence:  digital blockchain word currency.  Hackable, unpredictable, anti-theft protected, untraceable, and exactly what the world needs to create a new value ratio for pictures to words.  DO NOT WORRY!  This side project will not interfere with AcMo's automotive efforts.  We built our reputation on blowing up stuff that isn't supposed to explode, and I don't see that changing for anyone or anything.  In fact, our efforts will probably result in a scientific breakthrough that will create a novel propulsion system for interstellar travel.  Back to the words.  We plan to manipulate word picture values so we can start hoarding words by exchanging them for useless pictures we find on social media sites.  Once we have all of the words, AcMo will have the power.

The thing is, research and suck should be synonymous.  Mere moments after I created my thesis, I came upon information in the form of an article that claims a picture isn't even worth a thousand words.  Depreciating assets are downers.  Literally.  I would have been fine if I had avoided attempting to find credible data to support my argument.  The most incredible data available is that which we create.   It Turns Out, a Picture Is Not Worth a Thousand Words.  I'm not sure I buy what that article is selling.  I would have ordinarily ignored any research that invalidated my "facts", but I had already linked the article.  This means I can't turn back, but must craft a compelling argument to sway you to my side of reality--which is where you should be anyway.

The following pictures tell a story that is all too familiar to AcMo:  the cause and result of a preventable cascading failure.  I will attempt to explain what happened, and we'll see how many words are used.

First, the pictures:

The most dangerous yoga pose in the world.

Here is your story:

Yoga mat (those are yoga mats, right?)  rolling and placement is a precise and critical aspect of proper fitness training.  Because it is so difficult to arrange the mats, helpful pictures were placed near them to indicate the correct and incorrect methods.  This way no one leaves upset.  It is established that a post-yoga brain is not as efficient as a pre-yoga brain.  This means that simple tasks that anyone with an average IQ can do well are almost impossible to a person afflicted with post-yoga brain.  That's why the pictures with the words, "YES" and "NO" are attached to the corresponding photos.

This may seem obvious to most of you, but the information in the photo was derived from years of intense study and recorded data on human organizational patterns after various exercise routines were completed.  That data has largely been ignored by the public because it hasn't been represented in picture form.

The other pictures should have accompanied the mat picture to illustrate the consequences of improperly stored yoga mats.  You can be certain the mats would conform after that.  First, they create a landslide which causes a forklift party.  Allow me to explain a forklift party to those of you who are not familiar.  Forklifts are dangerous vehicles because of their ability to turn in any direction, and their difficult user interface.  This means that even on the best day, a forklift could inadvertently run someone over.  There are always at least two sides to every forklift party.  It starts when the driver quits because of the difficult controls and then decides to ghost ride the lift.  The second side is the person or persons who are run over by the now ghost ridden lift.  This is why we no longer use forklifts in any AcMo facility.  Even if we had someone here who understood how to control them, we still wouldn't allow their return.  One employee being rolled by a lift is too many.

The uncomfortable, and honestly, life threatening yoga press awaits the aggrieved individual at the conclusion of the party.  People who do that pose are never the same again.

All of this drama and injury could have been avoided if the yoga practitioners using those mats could read an image and understand how to properly store their damn mats.  For those not under the influence of post-yoga brain, Oprah is giving away new Porsche GT2 RSs!  Was anyone counting the words?

If that isn't the story you formed when you saw the above pictures, not only is there something wrong with you, but you might be under the influence of post-yoga brain.  Give it an hour or two and then look at the pics again.  You should only see a nice blue GT2 RS with delivery wrapping on it.

A picture may not be worth a thousand words if my math is correct.  And we all know that my math is always correct.  The only conclusion I've reached is that it is going to take longer than I thought to control all of the words.  We might have to initiate a hostile takeover of Merriam-Webster.