Japan's last ninja: Engineer, 63, who can hear a needle drop in the next room and kill from 20 paces is last in 500-year line of Japanese assassins
Desperate times demand unconventional tactics. The window for this engine transplant mission is closing, and we can't let that happen. There are people in the world who operate on a plane above normal existence. It is imperative that we find those people and persuade them to work for AcMo today. Our previous efforts to find the easiest possible solution have failed.
The Illuminati were smart to conceal their existence and convince the world they don't exist. Perhaps shinobi-monomi, or ninjas as we know them, did it first? Not much else would explain how there's allegedly only one remaining. What happened to the rest of them? A group trained in the art of stealth should be able to survive forever. Perhaps Ninjas still exist, but they've become better at concealing themselves in the digital information age. I doubt they have a Facebook Group or something.
This conundrum has bothered me for some time, but it became relevant this week while researching backup plans to guarantee a successful F1 engine swap operation. It occurred to me that all I needed to make the plan work was a group of ninjas. They have the training and skill to sneak into any facility, appropriate the required equipment and place it inside Honda's F1 engine factory without anyone ever knowing. Ninjas are the component my perfect plan had been missing.
The problem now is that I am having trouble finding enough ninjas to make this happen. My wanted ads have not been effective, and I haven't figured out how to coax a group believed to be extinct into the open so I can hire them. This is the type of problem that requires an AcMo solution. Sometimes the best AcMo solutions are provided by someone with a fresh perspective. Once the solution is shared, AcMo rebrands it and takes all credit. I suspect that is what is going to happen here because I'm low on creative ideas.
My tireless and unproductive search for ninjas lead me down an unexpected path. Many of you are familiar with the infamous bounty hunter, Boba Fett, but I doubt you are as acquainted with his crazy uncle, MOS FET. He was given the nickname MOS due to his preference for using moss as part of his ghillie suit during ground based forest missions. His real name is unprintable using our primitive letter technology. Moss also turned out to be the catalyst for his downfall, but I'll get to that in a moment.
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| MOS FET is hiding somewhere in there |
MOS FET was a creator. He pioneered the use of liquid cooled helium jet packs, powered grappling hooks with laser sights, and remote controlled tactical armor which served as a decoy when outnumbered. He was born with the desire to create technology that would facilitate effective bounty hunting practices. MOS understood the importance of scaling an operation. Sure, he could have hunted a handful of the galaxy's most wanted at a time, but the real money was in mass collection. In order to do that effectively, he needed to be multiple places at once, system wide. Thus, the FET clone program was initiated.
The clones were built using a modified version of a Field Effect Transistor because the contemporary bipolar transistor proved to be too erratic for MOS's power needs. The modifications were so advanced that other bounty hunters began to refer to them as MOS FETs. It didn't take long before word spread of the genius of MOS FET, and his nickname became synonymous with advanced technology throughout the galaxy. MOS FET and AcMo have a lot in common with regard to technological advances.
MOS FET
These transistors are capable of accumulating a large amount of static charge which can damage them if not handled properly. This is what took down MOS FET during his most audacious and final bounty hunt. He had been tracking a gang of ship thieves through a dense wooded area for weeks. MOS had the ability to survive on slugs and ground water for months, if necessary. He conserved energy whenever possible, and added moss to his ghillie suit whenever he saw some that looked nice. His ghillie suit became so full of moss that some of it wedged itself into one of the many MOS FETs within his armor. He had not made provisions to seal the inner and outer edges because this had never happened before. That excess moss caused the transistors to jam and then release their built up static charge simultaneously. The resulting explosion leveled half of the forest. The ship thieves did not survive to steal any more ships, but MOS FET became a footnote in the bounty hunter's almanac and cautionary tale for generations to come.
The loss of MOS FET means that AcMo is still looking for motivated, qualified shinobi for important operations. This needs to happen now, so do not hesitate to contact us if you are or know someone who is a shinobi-monomi. Thank you!
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