Dropping Knowledge

Neurons, we all have them.  Some of us light them up more often and for longer periods than others.  External forces can catalyze a neural explosion that sets a person's brain on fire.  Extraordinary things happen for a few seconds before you lose consciousness when your brain is on fire.  Just like the situation in a vivid dream, a few seconds of fire brain can feel like several hours.  That's more than enough time to create a detailed success plan.  This happened to me last week after a phone conversation with C. Scagnetti.  My brain is still buzzing.

All of these neurons lifting up are working together to form new AcMo revenue streams.  One mind working together to build a better future.  This is a future that has flying mech suits with optional railguns (SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED, AMMO SOLD SEPARATELY!), invincible car body panels, and another new revenue stream with enormous potential:  invincible engine blocks!  I don't know how that one escaped us for so long.  That one innovation is the only thing AcMo needs to solidify our position as the world's premier engine modifiers.  We could have saved so much heartache and client anguish if we had created invincible engines before we started modifying cars.  Scagnetti's wisdom has opened 1000 new opportunity doors for us.  I can't even keep pace with the ideas flowing right now.

Credit: Science Photo Library - KTSDESIGN Brand X Pictures Getty Images

The shockwaves are still reverberating in my brain.  I don't think I will ever see the world the same way again.  My mind is now completely open to previously invisible possibilities, and AcMo now has multiple new revenue streams to exploit.  One of those new streams isn't like the others AcMo has been creating.  This one will work as advertised the first time it is activated, and we won't even need to offer a money back guarantee to sell it.  In fact, we can't offer that guarantee because too many people have been abusing the system by requesting money back for products AcMo didn't sell.  I can't share--or even hint at--Scagnetti's life altering words due to the proprietary nature of that particular wisdom bomb.  It is so good that AcMo will be able to accelerate world domination plans and shift our 5-year plan down to two weeks.  That is the type of speed AcMo endorses.

Look closely at the picture below.  It is almost exactly what my head and hair looked like the moment after I processed the profundity of Scagnetti's knowledge bomb.  You would be able to see that if you had fMRI eyes or were a superhero of some sort, or both.  Definitely call AcMo if you're both because we always have openings on our roster for individuals with superhuman skill sets.

Credit: Srivas Chennu

I am happy to share the separate revenue stream his idea spawned.  Enlightenment bombs?  Knowledge bombs?  Wisdom bombs?  Whatever the name, Scagnetti knows how to deliver them.  AcMo has to share these side projects with him, and provide him full credit for our new ordinance packages.  Scagnetti's Hand-Made Enlightenment Packages (now with 75% less explosives!) is a perfect name.  Since he will be the agent of record, I am confident AcMo won't have any problems with law enforcement.   AcMo by Scagnetti (notice the ownership distinction) is getting into the arms business.  Specifically, we are going to take lethal bombs and transform them into enlightenment packages.  These enlightenment packages are bespoke and can truly be drop shipped anywhere in the world, as long as our B2 can get there on one fuel stop.  All you have to do to order your very own package is fill out our 230 page questionnaire and provide a valid credit card along with real-time location data.  Our algorithms, satellite tracking system, experienced intelligence gathering personnel, and B2 pilots will take care of the rest.  We anticipate that all of our business will be from first-time clients because it is unlikely most of them will survive the initial impact to the head due to the high speed nature of these packages.  This is why we also need to impart the wisdom as fast as possible.  We can't lose a civil case for fraud if we are able to prove we provided enlightenment, even if it was only for a nanosecond.  Again, this is a scenario during which a person with fMRI eyes or superpowers will be invaluable.

We don't waste anything at AcMo.  Our office furniture came from that dump site down the street.  Most of our important office accouterments originated in a dumpster somewhere.  A couple coats of Lysol will clean just about anything.   The original bomb internals will be repurposed for other projects in the near future.  We plan to utilize the latest recycling tech to transform our cache of borrowed lethal bombs into a cash printing business.  We're calling that one Scagnetti's Explosive Cache For Explosive Cash.  Not bad considering I didn't have to go to the marketing department for that one.  Scagnetti's exploding bills are also single-use items, but their origin won't be traceable back to AcMo if anyone discovers their non-existent reusability.  This is the type of solution without a downside, so we're going all in on this one.

Dropping enlightenment packages and scaling Scagnetti's Explosive Cache For Exploding Cash business is going to be fun.  We will be able to close down all of the payday loan businesses before they realize what has happened.  I never liked Monopoly, but having real monopolies is so much more interesting than a silly board game.  Who wants to live out of a shoe on Park Avenue anyway?  And railways are not that exciting, unless a train is derailing--which happens all of the time--so maybe railways are exciting.  Hmm...a new revenue stream is forming.  AcMo Derailing Train Kits (which are just repackaged regular train kits) are coming soon to a store near you.  We may have to start wearing life jackets to keep from drowning in any of our revenue streams.  AcMo has done it again!