AcMo's Business FAQ

• Where are you located?

We operate everywhere the Internet does, except possibly Turkey and China.  We may be banned there.  We're not sure.

Where are you located?  

• Denver, Colorado, why?

We like to be wherever our customers are, so we will be setting up operations near you soon.

• Does AcMo have a physical address?

Yes.  The problem is that each time one is discovered, we have to move to a new location.  We operate like ants in that way.  Also, we're a lot stronger than we look.

• What does AcMo do?  

Classified.  That, and we do so much of everything that it is impossible to put into words what we do.

• How long has AcMo been in business? 

We started around the time of the Big Bang (provided you believe in that), and have been accelerating ever since.

• Are there any jobs available at AcMo?  

There are always job openings here due to our high turnover rate.  Let us know what position you would like to fill, and we'll create it for you if you're qualified. Be prepared to pay us for the privilege.

• Where can I purchase AcMo products?  

Great question.  I have no idea.  I think online is the only option until our manufacturing and distribution centers are operating.

• What is your spirit animal?

Strange question.  It is the Peregrine Falcon.  Ask me why. 

• Why?

Thank you for asking.  It's the fastest bird on the planet, and represents the AcMo ethos:  Speed trumps all, so when in doubt, go faster.  We're looking into twin turbocharging a peregrine to see if it can hit ludicrous speed.  Bonus trivia for you:  the mockup for that project was the basis for our logo.

• What is AcMo's Phone Number?

I'm sorry, but we don't give our number to strangers.  That would not be prudent.

• Is AcMo insured, licensed, and bonded?

Yes?  Not sure. Nope we're not into that here. 

• Why can't I find any BBB ratings for AcMo?

We had a minor disagreement with the bureau.  They decided it would be best if we avoid each other in the future.  We have been reviewed quite well through other channels though.

• Where?  I'm unable to find any reviews online?

The reviews are all stored offline in a file cabinet at an undisclosed location.  There are too many possibilities for shenanigans when dealing with online reviews for us to risk our stellar reputation.

• Can I buy from AcMo with confidence? 

Thank you all for these great questions.  I'm afraid I will have to terminate this session since it is time to prepare for the live fire training exercise.  I will finish the FAQ after the exercise as long as it unfolds according to the plan.