The TGE™ line of products has emerged from the final round of validation testing after a frightening period of prolonged failures. We are relieved and excited to announce that we have absorbed the Exploders back into the regular product line, and we think the exploding problem has been solved. It turns out *someone* reversed the power wires, and none of the desk engineers caught the error. We can now offer the TGE™ with complete confidence that it will not destroy your vehicle.
We still recommend buying our patented blast shields because you can never be too careful, and we have a lot of unsold inventory desperate for new homes.
Today's achievements have been tempered by less positive news on another product front. The t-shirts are still proving problematic. We have been investigating their willingness to combust, but the root cause has eluded us up to this point. We hope to be able to solve this problem soon. Our best minds are on this, but they haven't yet produced actionable information. I am about to throw in the towel and call tech support. Plus, I am tired of buying new fire extinguishers every couple of days. They are not cheap.
I suspect the same individual responsible for the wiring mistake on the TGE™ is responsible for the t-shirts. There will be an inquiry and if my suspicions are proven accurate, the punishment will be severe.
All of this has to wait until next week because we are at Road America this weekend for testing, and nothing else matters when we are at a track.
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