Pushing Paper

A lot of valuable time at AcMo is spent pushing paper from one side of my desk to the other in an attempt to uncover hidden truths.  This has never worked, but because I grow more wise by the day, I keep trying the same thing anyway.  My hope is that my increased wisdom will allow me to visualize the pattern.  I will not stop until I've learned the truth.  Some say this is OCD, but that's madness.  Madness I say because this paper MUST be pushed.

This action resulted in the organic expansion of AcMo's enterprises into paper.  I mentioned AcMo Paper's memo services division in a post earlier this week.  Memo services is the jewel in the AcMo Paper portfolio.  Memo services is responsible for providing documents on an official and unofficial basis for all AcMo operations.  When I was at the border last week and had forgotten my passport expired 3 years ago, memo services was able to expedite a new one with a new name so that I could re-enter the country without being detained.  It did cost me a laptop though.  The good news is that it will erase its hard drive the moment those agents try to access it, and they'll never find the owner, Captain Samwich.

Memo services sometimes works with the marketing department, but as it seems to be with all things marketing, the two departments do not like each other much.  Memo services has a habit of taking marketing materials and modifying them before sending them to the publisher.  This has gotten the marketing department and AcMo in trouble more than once.  I put up with the mischief because that spirit is what makes memo services excel.  However, their constant mailing of pink slips has caused the staff to develop a tolerance.  Now I have to light each one on fire before delivering it so that everyone knows I'm serious.  That may or may not be how we lost our ammunition depot.  The investigation into that is still pending.

Consumers worldwide can benefit from the work of memo services after paying an exorbitant fee.  Memo services doesn't receive a lot of outside work, so each job is required to carry the profit for the company for that fiscal year.  This keeps our workload low and our work quality sky high.  Because we are often targeted by bored undercover police officers, we also have to be very selective about our clientele.  No request is too difficult as long as the client can pay.

Depending on how I feel this week, it may be time to commission memo services to initiate a mass confusion campaign at Microsoft.  There's nothing like the feeling of kicking an opponent while its down, and with Microsoft, I need to make sure I get my shots in before they get back to their feet.

I have some time to ponder the next step.  I'm busy now establishing another field base. The boarding pass I used to gain access to my flight was produced by memo services.  Last time I did this I ended up sitting in an overhead compartment because I didn't notice my pass had been modified to read "carry-on luggage" instead of  human cargo.  I hope I can get a seat next to the pilot this time.  That's always more fun than reading  whatever book/magazine/tablet my seat mate is reading.