There Are No Stupid Questions

Due to a troubling and ongoing barrage, I had to postpone AcMo updates to address an important topic.  Despite what you may have been told, there ARE stupid questions. We do not tolerate those at AcMo. All stupid questions are not answered, and each time an employee asks one it is recorded in the permanent file. There is a limit of ten per calendar year.

My entire legal staff was decimated after one too many stupid questions. To ask more than once per day the source and amount of funding available to pay the legal team is the epitome of a stupid question. It should have been obvious by that point that there was no source because I had no intention of paying the legal team. Asking, "are you serious?" when I have my most serious expression painted on my face is also a dumb question.  This is AcMo, when am I NOT serious?  I dared them to litigate the issue by asking if they thought they could recover damages.  See? I can play the stupid question game also. 

Asking if I'm sleeping when it is obvious that my breathing and heart rate are slowed and my eyes are closed is a stupid question. I don't care if it occurred during a meeting I was hosting and while I was talking and taking notes at the time. That is a question that should never have been asked. I had to wake up to answer, and I hate it when my power naps are interrupted!

This has happened to me on more than one occasion, but waiting to ask if I can swim after the boat is too far from shore to safely make a return swim back in case of an emergency is a dumb question. The blame would go on me in that situation for getting on the boat if I couldn't swim. I grew up around and in water, and I've been known on occasion to walk on it, so yes, I can swim. Thank you for waiting to ask after the prudent time had long since slipped past. The only reason AcMo has not diversified as much into water based products is because we feel the market isn't mature enough yet. We are preparing a line of personal flotation devices to be ready when we make the jump. 

"Are you paying attention?"  I get this one a lot. The answer is no, not at all. I have disparate interests which all command a great deal of my time. I do not yet have the bandwidth to focus on all of those interests and listen to people spout nonsense about how we're a house of cards and that I can't hold the operation together. I don't need the negative energy. The astonishing growth of my intellect as a result of my steady diet of AcMo Water® indicates I will have that ability no later than Q2 2015. 

In the interim, I have declared a moratorium on asking stupid questions. I hope to banish all stupid questions to the defunct complaint department. I think that is a fitting home. I would ask what you think, but that is a stupid question because I can't let public opinion impact AcMo's business in any way.