Uncharted Territory

It appears that I forgot to post this before announcing our westward expansion.  While my wisdom continues to accelerate, it is still quite a task to stay on top of AcMo's disparate operations.  I'm almost at the point when we will need to take on additional staff.  The problem is that at my current level it would take five or six employees to equal my workload.  I don't think that works in favor of AcMo's continued profitability.

No, the uncharted territory I referenced is not space.  At least it isn't space yet, but the week isn't over yet either.  This isn't a trip to the promised land either.  AcMo is headed somewhere it's never been.  We're setting up a base of operations in Seattle.  Our scout team returned from a recent fact finding and destabilization mission to help determine the optimum location for our newest base.  The reveal of the location of our newest base of operations won't be a surprise to anyone paying attention.  In fact, this is the only place we could have utilized.

Amazon, Boeing, M$, Starbucks, Weyerhaeuser, and Zulily all requested meetings while we were going to be in the area, but we don't have time for that nonsense.  Those companies just want to take our IP from us and claim it as their own.  We also know they feel threatened by the sudden and meteoric rise of the AcMo conglomerate.

We have decided to focus our expansion on the four corners of the United States of America and then work our way toward the interior.  This approach is designed to provide AcMo with the most direct and defensible route to total control.  As we are establishing these bases, we are also optimizing our revenue streams to increase our ability to expand.  Our plans don't stop with control of Earth, so we need to have a solid foundation before we launch into space and whatever may lie beyond.

Sharks are a bigger concern than most people think, and the Seattle trip was focused on boating and sea plane time in various waters.  This increased my stress levels since I was scared.  The only thing I fear in this world other than those parasitic aliens in space (stop lying, you know they are real.  No one can make up something that convincing from scratch) is being attacked by a shark.  Competing against Fortune 500 companies is cake compared to going head to head with a shark.  People are predictable and most of the time can be decoded without having the master password.  Who knows what is happening behind a shark's cold, dead eyes?

If we control the water, we control the commerce.  Sharks will be forced to do our bidding.

OK, now that I've scared myself stupid talking about all of these sharks, I need to divert back to the point of this post, which was...hmmm...what was the point?  Oh yeah, I was discussing AcMo's basis for expansion into the Pacific Northwest.  We have developed a new prototype consulting program to help businesses generate new revenue streams.  We refer to it as the Revenator®.  The Revenator® takes a company's existing profits and turns them into revenue streams for AcMo.  In return for the influx of funds, AcMo provides one or two new revenue streams the donor can use to increase profits.  This is the technology that all of those companies want because they know it can drive them all out of business if they don't have it.

We flew within network sniffing distance of Bill Gates's house along with the Starbucks HQ.  We also stopped by at the original Starbucks location, but they're doing it wrong.  The line was out the door and down the block which means the servers are too slow.  We went to another coffee shop that had a much smaller line instead.  It cost less too.  I'm sure we saw other businesses as well, but I fell asleep.  Again.

Planning our attack from the air...

This spot was reserved for the pics from our ground reconnaissance of Starbucks Corporation's HQ, but the pics have disappeared!  Perhaps we got a little too close to their security countermeasures while doing our probe.  It doesn't matter because we are diligent about triple redundancy practices at AcMo, and I have all of the details stored in my head.  The triple redundancy is implemented through our capability to store data in the heads of AcMo employees without their knowledge.  Before anyone freaks out and starts complaining about human rights' abuses, or worse yet, suggests another hostile work environment lawsuit, I would like to point out that this is all outlined in the super fine print of their employment contracts.  No one forced them to sign as far as you can prove.

I have pics of the Gates's houses (I'm not saying where the other ones I'm referring to are located, but they are very real and quite nice), but I don't want them to know how close we were, so I can't post them.  I'm sure there are hundreds of satellite images of the houses on Bing if you have to see them.

Someone must have diluted my water again because I keep drifting off-topic.  I would apologize for that, but this is my business, so I don't have to do anything other than generate more revenue streams and maximize the thousands we already have running.

Because of legal complications, I can only be away from AcMo for short periods.  I left our best ground team behind to continue to gather data and begin setup of our newest base.  I received a report  two days ago that all Internet communications may have been compromised, so I'm not certain how to contact the team to resume the updates.  I'm sure we'll have the issue resolved soon.  We're AcMo. We may not have the best or tenth best solution, but we always have something.