Reversal of Fortune

There is a slight chance that AcMo may have moved too soon to inhabit Ferrari's Italian HQ.  Reports are now indicating that only certain portions of Ferrari’s business may relocate to London from Italy, but manufacturing is not one of them.  This is quite troubling news.  Our plane tickets have been generated and our papers manufactured to allow us entry into both Italy and the factory.  We would have wasted a lot of our valuable paper stock for nothing if these reports turn out to be accurate.

This once again puts the F1 team’s future in doubt.  I believe that the lack of contact from Snob Duben is because he can’t figure out how to rescue Johnny Jamz from the ceiling and how to make the plastic cars survive the FIA crash tests.  Both of those problems would have disappeared the moment we took possession of our new Maranello facility.  I think he is unwilling to admit he lacks the mental fortitude to outwit pre-assembled interlocking plastic blocks.

Assuming control of a mid-pack F1 team had never before looked so appealing.  The potential sponsorship opportunities were beyond anything AcMo had ever encountered.  We had already identified a list of non-relevant companies we could take sponsorship dollars from to use to fund our other revenue streams.  For example, and without giving away trade secrets, our marketing team identified a lack of personal injury lawyer sponsorship in F1, which to us seems like a natural union of purposes for an international reach.  Unlimited upward growth potential would have been unlocked after just a few months of squatting in our new factory.

AcMo research personnel have been in contact with our two credible sources that are not involved and not authorized to speak on the matter, but claim to have knowledge of specifics related to a possible Ferrari move.  These same sources confirmed the veracity of the original rumors.  We treat data collection as a serious endeavor at AcMo.  Our reputation in the publishing world was built upon being no worse than 40^th when breaking a news story.  Accurate reporting still needs work to reach our minimum standard, but it has been improving.

AcMo operates on multiple simultaneous levels.  Another important aspect to our takeover plan was the cyber division. 

We began a cybersquatting campaign the moment we heard the rumors about a possible move.  The security team devoted days to gaining control of the relevant domains to guarantee another ingenious AcMo revenue stream, and enabled a method to win the hearts of the Italian people.  Now it’s too late in the process to stop that.  We are hopeful that holding control of Furrari.com and Furrari.it will pay great dividends in the future after FCA regains its senses.

Hey, I would wager that Sergio Marchionne has also been using a TDCS unit and that might explain his management decisions concerning Ferrari over the last few months.  I expect Sergio will come to the same conclusion we have after our week of testing failures.  TDCS is best left to those who understand how the brain works, or in other words, no one.