AcMo Shark Attractor™

Some of the secrets to success aren’t actually secrets; it’s just that people choose to ignore them.  One of those is the importance of breaching the comfort zone.  I keep seeing variations on that theme everywhere.  The mantras are almost as prevalent as the Toyota Prius in Seattle.  In fact, this has given me an alternative eco-friendly product to develop.  This is a next level product that will change the way regular people view hybrid vehicles.  Instead of hating on them, they can be viewed as free power sources thanks to our wireless power absorption module that captures the juice from any nearby Prius and transfers it into traditional vehicles.  The power can be used to charge personal accessories and to keep the vehicle’s battery topped up.  This energy recovery will benefit all motorists instead of only the superior Prius drivers.  Naturally we will begin testing in the Pacific Northwest.  I’m getting ahead of myself again because this isn’t the forum to discuss that product.

I’m here with you today to work through my fear of leaving my comfort zone, and understanding how that might be preventing AcMo from achieving its destiny.  The mere thought of stepping inches outside of my comfort zone is making me uncomfortable.  However, AcMo will not thrive without taking some risks.  A recent conversation with Scagnetti provided the path AcMo must take.

Comfort zone eradicated!

There are few things more frightening than seeing a shark’s gaping jaws and the sharp murder devices housed within it at close range.  I would rather not even think about it, but I’m ready for my life to begin, so I’m going big with AcMo’s latest revolutionary product.  Allow me to introduce the AcMo Shark Attractor™.  Some assembly required, and satisfaction is 100% NOT guaranteed on this one.

Credit for the idea of the AcMo Shark Attractor™ belongs to Scagnetti.  It was his blockbuster product quest that gave life to the concept.  Pursuing the research on this has pushed AcMo so far outside its comfort zone that there is no hope of returning.  I will be demanding a refund from all of those so-called prophets if this doesn’t work, and my life fails to begin after this experiment.  That’s of course assuming we survive the field tests of our newest device.

The beta version of our attractor is a box filled with chum and blood designed to release in a steady pattern.  The concept will be refined as we gather data on how sharks work and understand what attracts them to kill so much.  The development should produce a final product that is wearable and autonomous once set.  I envision the ability to set the desired number of sharks to attract—anywhere from 1-99—and then forget about surviving much longer.

When gambling with sharks it is important to note that a shark will win more often than it won’t.  The shark only has to get a bit lucky to ruin your day.  Never, ever take on a shark in Vegas unless you just want to lose.

This doesn’t mean that sharks should be considered invincible just because they’re all buff, expert swimmers, and have super sharp teeth.  Those among us who don’t understand odds are the ones who make the world a better place for those who do understand the probability of survival.  Even sharks have off days when they are vulnerable to devastating attacks.  The cousin of the bird pictured above taught that shark’s cousin a valuable lesson about messing with birds while they are feeding.

Sometimes it pays to leave people and animals alone while they are feeding.  Only the stubborn need to learn that lesson the hard way.  This shark’s lesson has become an invaluable insight for AcMo, and we are grateful and relieved that the shark sacrificed itself on our behalf.

That bird’s triumph has energized us to commence development of a personal defense system to protect against the shark attacks our attractor will cause.  Perhaps we should have been working on the defender first, but not everything is linear and logical at AcMo.  The key to our research depends upon understanding the tech the bird used to either shrink the shark to a manageable size or to grow itself to a much larger size than the shark.  Either method will suffice for our purposes.  I am praying we will be able to conclude development in time to launch the defense system alongside the AcMo Shark Attractor™.  If the timelines don’t mesh, I must advise that everyone exercise extreme caution while deploying their personal shark attractors in public.  I am having trouble containing my excitement for these new products.  I can’t wait to install an attractor and put someone in the water to test it.  I know the results will be spectacular.

There is a chance AcMo will introduce a Scagnetti signature series line of products that could include a snake attractor as well. This device can be beta tested by Scagnetti after I covertly place one in his waterproof boots. I see a great future for this line of products.