Looking for the Perfect Beat

I think those moves depicted on the label are based on Tai Chi.

This Tommy Boy created an alliance with Afrika Bambaataa & SOULSONIC FORCE to attempt to find the perfect beat.  With names like that, how could they fail?  Nothing inspires confidence more than the force.  Just forming a squad to hunt down this beat wasn’t enough for them; they also created a song about it.  The song may have been a bad idea since it provided their competitors insight into their movements.  That’s a mistake AcMo has made one too many times to continue repeating.  That’s why we never tell anyone what we are doing, including the staff.

Did the perfect beat seekers ever find it?  I think that search must have been as difficult for them as the search for Atlantis has been.  My guess is that they went insane trying to find the perfect beat, and radio stations would no longer play their pleas for assistance.  I know I’m about to go insane as well, and I’m not even looking for the perfect beat.  I would take a junk beat at this point.  It’s not that I’m settling, but anything would work if it gets me on wax.

Now I am in the planning stages of considering activating a feasibility study to determine the merits of putting a team together to continue their work and finally locate the perfect beat. I know all the elements required to make it happen. The problem is I don't know what the perfect beat sounds like.  I'm sure I'll know it when I hear it, if I ever hear it.

Let me give it a try right now.  First I need a hook that catches the listener’s attention.  Perhaps I’ll even shock them with an unorthodox sound.  A screeching cat might do the trick. Here come the drums over the screeching cat...this is the part when you would start to hear the bass drum enter with a subtle kick accompanying it.  Then there might be a piano chord or three to balance the cat.  I’m not sure how that will work because I can’t play the piano.  That is irrelevant because we have one of those automated ones in the office.  We use it for our hold music, but no one will notice if it goes off of phone duty for a few weeks.  Right now in your own head you are trying to imagine the sound of the perfect beat.

This is another instance when failing to do my homework has caused problems.  I didn’t task the research department with providing me a transcript of the song, and my memory differed from the reality of the song.  I know this because I heard it a few nights ago during an all-day mecca.  According to the lyrics of the song, they do find the perfect beat every time they look for it.  Does that mean the title of the song is a misnomer since they are no longer looking for the perfect beat?  Or are they looking for another perfect beat? That's one of the great mysteries of life. I wish I could email them to ask for clarification because it is driving me crazy.

Scagnetti and I heard the song during our road trip.  He didn't know the significance of it at that time because I didn't share the research data I had accumulated on this project because I was still trying to understand it.  I was afraid it would cause him to be compelled to also search for the perfect beat, and push him over the same precipice of sanity that I now find myself as a result of a never-ending quest.

I know that beat is right around the corner.  I am determined to find it even if it means I have to devote all of AcMo’s computing power to the task.