Signature Cliché

This was the inspiration for Microsoft's BSOD.

The logic truck ran out of samples right before it was about to make its regular AcMo delivery.  I had a bad feeling that might happen when I woke up after my third morning nap.  I had felt the winds of change blow across my outstretched hand, but I dismissed it because I thought it was my imagination.  I couldn’t continue to deny the truth when I started to feel it deep down in my bones.  The failed delivery has sent us into a panic.  It is practically impossible to think outside the box if the box doesn’t even arrive.  We know that usually you only receive what you put in, but we have developed a converter to inversely power our output to unimaginable levels.

Sure, sometimes we lose control of the output and bad things happen, but that is why we only ever operate the converter in a controlled environment near our competitors’ headquarters.  We have never received any complaints after a testing incident, so we think no one even notices the massive energy evacuation.

AcMo has always gone the extra mile for clients, so in these sticky situations we activate scramble and adapt mode to salvage the day.  We are always able to guarantee results as long as we play our cards right.  Adding mileage to our clients’ vehicles is an essential element of our primary revenue stream.  Miles are billable, and each accrued testing mile is worth five in the simulator.  Since we haven’t figured out how to buy time, this is the next closest alternative.

Part of my day-to-day responsibility is to extinguish fires, but I can’t do that when we don’t have enough logic.  The lack of supply has sent us into a tailspin.  I don’t know how much experience you have with being out of control, but I can assure you it is not enjoyable.  The last time this happened I couldn’t see straight for weeks.

People from all walks of life have a special affinity for clichés.  As far as a demographic, salespeople tend to return to that well more often than not.  Cliché delivery is such an ingrained habit that it even happens when drivers are asleep at the wheel.  Salespeople like to go to their proven phrases to attempt to ease minds and force people to buy.

A cliché can often reveal what is hidden under the surface.  Someone who uses the same one ad nauseam has a serious vocabulary problem and needs immediate medical attention.  Cliché addiction and overuse is a warning sign for much bigger medical issues.  Being able to identify a person’s fallback clichés is a valuable skill.

We use our signature clichés to calm our test pilots and drivers before they go into action.  There’s nothing to fear, but fear itself, except when the situation goes pear shaped due to a mechanical failure or, more likely, a driver error.  That’s why we have telemetry devices installed in all of our fleet.  We can always blame the failure on the driver and use the data to support our argument.  However, in my heart of hearts I know all of our test vehicles are safe to operate at maximum velocities for at least one lap.  I wouldn’t put anyone in harm’s way just for kicks.

AcMo’s development team has been working around the clock to develop a cliché buster that we can supply to our boots on the ground.  The idea is that these busters will help wipe clichés off of the face of the Earth.  Once we can get all of them into space, we will work on repackaging them as wisdom bombs that we can then drop on unsuspecting cliché generators.

Recycling is the action that will save humanity from a catastrophic resource restriction situation.  I just hope we haven’t missed our window to make a difference.  If that ship has sailed, we might be able to sink it with a well-timed torpedo.