Dishwasher Basics

This debate has existed since 1886 when Josephine Garis Cochran invented the first dishwasher.  She could not have known the marital strife she was also inventing with her wonderful new appliance.  The dishwasher is probably the most prevalent cause of broken marriages.  It shouldn't be that way though.  A device that adds convenience and germ killing should never have become a marriage breaker.  I yearn to fix the problem before another marriage is lost to the dishwasher.

This is next level AcMo type info.

This is a logistical problem involving space.  The space inside the dishwasher, and the best way to utilize it.  A lot of people think I'm crazy because I care about how the dishwasher is loaded, but I am all about safety.  Clean dishes are much better to use for eating than dirty ones.  Just remember, I'm the crazy one for wanting clean dishes.


The problem begins when the dishes aren't loaded correctly, and then it escalates like a string of falling dominoes.  Who knows where it ends?  Emotional collapse?  A Sanitarium?  Both?  Divorce for sure.  I decided that the only option was to go to outer space for the definitive solution.

The production version probably won't look like this.

What I brought back from my trip is the answer to a lot more problems than how to load the dishwasher.  First AcMo's solution can save marriages on the brink of dishwasher based collapse.  It will also solve your storage needs everywhere in the house.  I came back to Earth with a space-time rift which I placed inside AcMo's test dishwasher to create space for an infinite amount of dishes.  Heed this warning:  STRs do NOT like being confined in small spaces, so use them with the understanding that the situation can go pear shaped at any time--that's an AcMo motto, by the way.  It is imperative that great care is taken when placing and removing an STR from your dishwasher.  The operation should only be handled by a trained professional, like Gordon Freeman.

The dishwasher conundrum took a few moments to solve once I applied our engineers to the problem.  It wasn't until I was working to understand how I could scale my new rift that other options presented themselves.  You can always have a parking spot in a crowded lot if you use the rift to send a car that was parked in your spot into the farthest reaches of the universe.

Using the rift on traffic may completely eliminate the need for our upcoming trafficide weapons system.  In fact, if the rift is calibrated properly, it could make cars unnecessary.  I don't feel so great about that one.


Researchers may have devised a sensitive test for new particles.  I don't know how yet, but I'm sure this will become important as AcMo moves toward its goal of recognizing wormholes as reliable transport options.  We could potentially disrupt the entire logistics and shipping industry forever.  Removing semi-trucks from the road would reduce greenhouse gases, and make the roads safer for those who still wanted to use them.

Mission creep is always a problem, so I will spend time figuring out the best ways to scale and monetize wormholes.  These can't be sold to just anyone because a wormhole in the wrong hands could end the universe.  That's why AcMo has to be the company to decide who can be trusted with a wormhole.  The other potential downside is that success with wormholes could bring about the demise of the internal combustion engine, and AcMo's main revenue stream.

Right now I'm just going to take credit for saving marriages everywhere by removing the fight over how to properly load the dishwasher.  AcMo isn't even in the marriage business, but that doesn't mean we can't provide value.