Chess Moves

Imagine if chess pieces could form conscious thoughts.  They would probably believe that they move of their own accord and can't tell that each move is restricted by the rules and the board.  The pieces would think that free will existed and that they moved when and where they wanted and that those decisions could not have happened any other way.  Chess pieces wouldn't know that an unseen hand moves them to their designated squares, and no one piece would know the overall plan, except maybe the queen.  

How many times in your life have you done something for which you can't reasonably explain your motivation for that particular action?  Maybe free will is an illusion constructed to keep our fragile minds from cracking because of the reality of our existence.  What if the machines are already controlling us?  How would we know?  Perhaps I can repurpose the Voight-Kampff test to find the answer.  AcMo could use some guidance from Morpheus right now, but I'm not sure he knows anything about interpreting those test results.  He probably does, I don't think Morpheus could have survived so long fighting agents if he didn't know a little about everything.

I am not suggesting that AcMo is an unseen hand moving pieces.  No, we do not do that, not least because I have no clue how to play chess.  While we do have a long term plan and multiple objectives involved, we don't utilize the kind of lateral thinking that may be an asset during a chess match.  This has caused me to consider using our recent advances in invisibility to work out a method to guide people around the board.  We take the direct approach and worry about the angles later.  This may have something to do with why I keep losing to everyone in checkers.

Earlier in the year we consulted with a particular F1 team that has been falling toward the bottom of the grid for the last several seasons despite having two former world champions driving for them.  Sliding backward, especially when there are solid objects involved, will only be tolerated for so long before pieces start disappearing from the board.  Money, prestige, and brand prestige are all at stake.  Yesterday when Luca Di Montezemolo announced his impending retirement, a large piece fell off of the board.  This man was one of the last involved during the team's most productive and victorious seasons.  In a sense he was the architect of their successful reign.  The future of the team has looked bleak for several seasons, but the talk was always about an eventual resurgence.  This may also be the precursor to the announcement that the team will depart F1 to chase the dream of winning Le Mans overall.  The most important issue with leaving F1 is making a smooth exit that would prevent anyone from criticizing the team for being quitters.  The only thing about this I know to be true is that an incredible AcMo opportunity has emerged.  

Whatever happens in the coming seasons, we have been strategically placing ourselves into position in preparation for our opportunity.  We are uniquely situated to facilitate the transfer of the team's F1 assets and intellectual property--excluding the wind tunnel since that thing is junk--to AcMo.  We would then rebrand the team Scuderia AcMo F1, re-hire Ross Brawn out of retirement and start winning again.  We won't make any changes to the cars because that is beyond the scope of our considerable expertise, but they will just start winning anyway, and we will not hesitate to seize all of the credit.

No one will be able to prove that we weren't responsible for the sudden reversal of fortune, but they also won't see the hand that moved the chess pieces into place so that this was the only outcome that could have happened.  Everyone--except our competitors--wins.  I could leave this ridiculous war with Omnicron Corp. behind and travel the world with Flavor Flav Briatore (No relation to Flavor Flav of Public Enemy fame) since he managed to get his lifetime ban from F1 rescinded.  If nothing else, I know the journey would be entertaining.

The question that remains foremost in my mind is whether or not the actions AcMo plans to take are of our own volition, or if there is an unseen hand also guiding us?  Is Scuderia AcMo F1 a foregone conclusion because the invisible hand is taking us there, or do we have a choice in the matter?  Right now there are too many questions with too few answers.  We're going to need to consult with an expert who has all of the answers.  What I need is a second objective and unbiased opinion to confirm my thoughts. 

AcMo Sounds

The situation at AcMo HQ looks bleak.  Compensation Package has taken control of the shop floor, and we still can't find it.  I haven't left my desktop in days, and it is causing all kinds of problems.  Still, the machine must feed, so I work with a new kind of pressure.  I'm going to be forced to fire Fred if he doesn't come through and hunt down Compensation Package for us.  I will attempt to avert my focus from the loose undetermined type of rattlesnake wandering our shop floor by announcing our latest innovation.

One of my many talents is identifying new market opportunities after they've been widely covered on the Internet, radio, and television. This skill has helped AcMo diversify into a number of mature market sectors.  We've just finished a market study that concluded with the introduction of AcMo Sounds. Our new Sounds division is working to get acquired for several billion dollars. Once you've finished expressing your incredulity, I would like to direct your attention to recent news stories regarding the acquisition of a headphone maker/streaming music service by Apple.  There is precedent for this.  We provide proprietary listening devices and sound enhancement tech. In addition to our listening tools, we also have a studio where we create sounds.  We work with your sounds, or can create made to order sounds for our clients.  We are only limited by the client's imagination and budget.  Chances are you've been in a public place when you heard someone's deafening ring tone.  That could have been one of our AcMo advanced sound profile ring tones.

We do sound engineering for live stage shows, concerts, recording studios, in-car sound generators, and anything else our clients need.  Our studio division creates the industry's best studio monitors, headphones, and in ear monitors by purchasing the best products available, replacing their logos with ours, and then adding a 20% price increase. Everyone wins except the consumer.  The consumer never wins.

The fake in-car sound generators utilised by manufacturers these days are an AcMo favorite.  We have been known to tweak the profile on a few of them to provide the illusion that the car is operating with only half its cylinder count.  When the owner has the car serviced, the mechanic will hear an engine operating on what appears to be double its cylinder count.  That way both owner and mechanic can be involved in the fun.  We do this by utilizing sound canceling technology and a bit of magic.  

We've been contacted by Formula One management type people on a discreet basis to engineer improved sounds for the current cars.  We performed our routine due diligence which yielded several surprising results.  The new cars never approach their 15,000 rpm limit, resemble the sounds a typical high-end vacuum cleaner makes when jammed with legos--don't ask me how I know this--and fail to create the fiery excitement previous generation engines did when they exceeded their mechanical limits.  Our first proposal was a simple one.  We suggested all teams raise their rev limits back up to 20,000, and require teams to use all of the revs available to them at all times.  This would also require eliminating the current fuel consumption rules, which is a bonus.  None of the teams would get onboard citing cost and environmental image concerns.  I started crying I was laughing so hard when I heard that.  Can you believe they say these things with straight faces?

We looked into the data to produce another cost-effective and ingenious solution to F1's current sound issue.  We advised the teams to return to the use of V12 and V10 engines in their cars, but that was met with derision also.  It has become apparent that not everyone likes fast cars to be even faster and for them to sound amazing in the process.  We were not surprised by the rejections because the same group that asked for our assistance is also the group who voted to make the current changes to the sport.  How can those teams be expected to get it right after getting it so very wrong?  They won't even admit in public that there's a problem, and we all know that the first step toward a resolution is admitting a problem exists.  The documentation AcMo has received from the various manufacturer's representatives states that they cannot and will not admit to any errors in public.  Given the number of failures and mistakes AcMo has swept under the rug over the course of our operational existence, I can relate to their position.  That, however, does nothing to improve the aural impact of current F1 cars.  I fear nothing can fix them since our proposals were rejected.  Of the three teams who agreed to one of our proposed solutions, one may leave the sport within a year, and the other two are undergoing so much internal turmoil that they may not have realized what vote they were casting.

No matter, one lost billion dollar deal won't stop us from continuing on our acquisition trail to the promised land.  If you're wondering how the F1 contract would have been a billion dollar deal, the proposal involved some serious upselling and complicated contract maneuvers so we could receive payment for work performed by the teams.  Think of us like a talent manager who works alongside an agent.  The manager doesn't do anything, but still gets paid for the agent's work.  That is the model we were attempting to replicate.  We'll nail it down soon, if not in this sector then somewhere else we have operations.

We have started our marketing blitz to overshadow our lack of substance by using shiny ad campaigns filled with references to all of the latest trends.  When consumers see what a pair of AcMo Sounds branded headphones can do for their image and street cred, they will not be able to resist joining the movement.  Once the movement starts, we will use our patented accelerators to make it a global phenomenon.  Everyone, including people who have no method for listening to recorded sounds, will be clamoring for an AcMo Sounds product.  The consumer market will force the professionals to join the collective.  AcMo Sounds is the next cog in the global domination machine being constructed at one of our many secret facilities.  Our success here will allow us to circumvent the F1 teams.  We will alter the sound of  the television broadcast before it reaches those watching.  The teams won't know, and the fans won't care. 

It may take longer than anticipated, but AcMo always gets what it desires.

Resource Allocation Management

The brain fog in the morning hours is always thick.  The fight to gain full alert status is never won without great effort.  I am unable to drink coffee, so I must build energy the old-fashioned way.  This requires a slow, controlled ascent into the day.  This particular morning my brain was on wakeup autopilot allowing additional rest time to prevent a systems failure before breakfast.  Those are the worst.  Don't you hate it when you wake up under the kitchen table and have no idea how you got there, or how long the dog has been licking your cheek and/or gnawing on your finger?  This is the ultimate form of personal Resource Allocation Management (pRAM), and when it goes wrong, bad things happen.

RAM isn't just about people.  RAM is important to the success of  any business venture.  I am the world's best at RAM*. AcMo operates on razor thin margins. Survival is predicated on having the resources available to profit from market opportunities when they emerge. Timing is also important to the formula. One day I will share the secrets to AcMo's success. Today is not that day.  Do keep reading to learn more about our exciting company and how we are shaping the future of everything though.

Having money and not knowing where to allocate it is almost, ALMOST as bad as not having any money.  The same goes for personnel.  Key positions being filled by the wrong people can kill an organization.  A thought popped into my head while the morning fog was still burning off my brain.  I don't believe that Ferrari's Formula 1 team will be successful until there is a drastic personnel and operational change.   This means you should not be holding onto any hope of the team fighting for race wins this season, unless the four cars ahead of them all crash into each other.  We can put AcMo dollars on this if you think I'm wrong.

Marco Mattiacci was placed in charge of Ferrari's F1 team several weeks ago.  He doesn't have a background at this level of motorsport, and it is not clear that he understands the inherent complexities of the task he has been assigned.  I'm not criticizing him. If Luca di Montezemolo called and told me to take over the F1 team, I wouldn't say no even though I would have no hope of improving their performance. I might feign disinterest in an attempt to bolster my negotiating position.  Every move management has made over the past couple of seasons has been the wrong move, and the problems continue to grow.  Don't worry Ferrari, I've been there, and it can get a lot worse before it might get better.  There is no guarantee the situation will improve.

Enough about Ferrari's Formula 1 troubles.  Let's get back to the more important stuff:  AcMo's troubles.  AcMo survives on data and the brains required to analyze it. One book I did read without falling asleep during was The Art of War. I didn't understand it, but I use it as a guide to improve my leadership skills. I will also need the training when we go to war with our competitors, Skynet, or both.  I feel if something is worth doing, it is worth doing well.

AcMo has created a unique program that analyzes thousands of parameters to help us determine which market sectors are exploitable. The analysis also indicates which competitors are vulnerable to either a takeover or complete annihilation.  I don't like having to crush other companies, but sometimes there aren't other viable options.

The RAM program has alerted us that Femtomarketing is the future, and based on the program's conclusion, we are allocating 150% of our marketing budget in this direction.  The formal transition will begin next week, but I wanted all of AcMo's followers to be aware that changes, much like winter, are coming.

We anticipate that our Femtomarketing shift will increase our brand awareness by at least 1000%.  This increase will allow us to play in a much larger pool of companies.  The plan is to use a systematic approach to pick up and/or absorb weaker competitors without the marketplace knowing.  A lot of this work will be done by our special teams.

The end result should be total market domination when the campaign has concluded.  AcMo will be transformed into a holding company with subsidiaries embedded in every profitable market space.  I can understand how this could seem impossible to control to a lay person, but there are complicated business techniques involved that will make it work with seamless efficiency.  The use of manufacturing robots will also be an essential factor in our success.  AcMo does not use robots in any capacity because we don't trust them, but we build many of the robots our competitors use.  These robots are loyal to our mission, and when the time comes, they will obey.  We think.  In essence, no one will know we are there, and the strings used to control the actions of our subsidiaries will be invisible.

Speaking of invisible strings, stealth is another key element in AcMo's operational structure.  To bolster our stealth capabilities, I have requested that the research and development department recommence work on our invisibility cloaks.  When we created the cloaks, the technology was not mature enough to sustain the power required to make the cloaks function for extended periods.  This made counter-surveillance missions more difficult than necessary.  I am hopeful that the latest advancements will remove past impediments to allow the cloaks to fulfill their design parameters.  A large part of our funding depends on the success of the cloaks.

We plan to sell the previous generation cloaks to foreign militaries to fund production of the next generation that we will keep for our own purposes.  As always, we are eager to sign up beta testers for this and many other projects.  I need to disclose that there is a chance the wearer of a test cloak could become permanently invisible, but we think that has only happened on three distinct occasions.

AcMo is the way forward to a better future.  I apologize if this post seems disjointed.  Today is one of the rare days when the morning fog never lifted, and my brain couldn't switch off autopilot.  Since I am content creator and editor, sometimes you get less than what you paid for with this blog.  Don't expect a refund.  That department is also closed.  This is the first time the fog didn't clear this week.  Things will be better tomorrow.  Bet your bottom dollar.  I prefer if you're going to bet though that you use AcMo dollars.  We get a percentage of every transaction that way.

*Four out of five dentists agree. The fifth forgot to vote. 

Aerodynamic Correlation and The Gell-Mann Amnesia Effect

I don't know anything.  That statement will become important later.  I may be out of sorts, but it seems logical to me that there is at least some correlation between F1 wind tunnel data and road car applications.  The data can't be directly extrapolated from F1 to road car since they are very different, but information on aero principles revealed during the development of an F1 car should have some positive effect on road car development, assuming those departments share data and methodologies.

This part doesn't require an assumption IF the first part is true:  flawed data from the source would poison the target data.  Would the results in either format be credible?  I don't believe so, but I'm also not a scientist or very smart, so keep that in mind, and I refer you to my first sentence on this post.  In this instance, the Michael Crichton coined term,  the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect might be relevant.

The Gell-Mann Amnesia effect occurs when someone reads something in a publication about which they are knowledgeable, and sees errors that indicate the author does not know the material.  When the reader flips the page to the next article, about which the reader may be ignorant, the reader disregards the author's previous lack of knowledge and assumes this next article is factually correct.

Ferrari admitted that their wind tunnel was calibrated incorrectly a few years ago.  It took a while before the tunnel was back on line.  The problem forced Ferrari to use Toyota's wind tunnel in the interim.  Toyota's gas pedals may be suspect, but their wind tunnel is accurate--probably.  This had to have had a detrimental effect on road car aero development, yet no one seems to question whether or not the newest Ferrari road cars will stay on the road while at speed.  The current cars are the fastest and most powerful the company has ever produced.

How comfortable would you feel at 190 mph in your brand new Ferrari if someone told you the aerodynamics of the car *might* be flawed?  Maybe this isn't an issue at all because there is no correlation between F1 aero and road car aero.  Even so, if the engineers working on the F1 car didn't catch the wind tunnel issue right away, why would the road car team fare better?

I don't know how the teams at Ferrari work, and whether or not they even share data between departments, but the marketing department has no problem emphasizing Ferrari's racing successes to build interest in the road cars and strengthen the majesty of the marque.  However, given Ferrari's poor form in F1 over the last several years and the wind tunnel issue, how long can the situation continue in this manner before it has a detrimental effect on Ferrari's reputation as a whole?

Or will the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect do the job and keep the Ferrari faithful queuing for a chance to own every new model even though they may be fatally flawed due to a developmental birth defect?  I wouldn't want to bet my life that the road car team got it right when they have repeatedly failed to do so in F1.

Racing was always seen as a way for manufacturers to engender public adoration and sell more cars.  That's supposed to only work well when the race team wins.  You can't continue to sell your road cars as being developed by winners when you can't win.  Eventually the customers will wake up and start to question what they are buying.  Or, maybe they won't.