Dropping Knowledge

Neurons, we all have them.  Some of us light them up more often and for longer periods than others.  External forces can catalyze a neural explosion that sets a person's brain on fire.  Extraordinary things happen for a few seconds before you lose consciousness when your brain is on fire.  Just like the situation in a vivid dream, a few seconds of fire brain can feel like several hours.  That's more than enough time to create a detailed success plan.  This happened to me last week after a phone conversation with C. Scagnetti.  My brain is still buzzing.

All of these neurons lifting up are working together to form new AcMo revenue streams.  One mind working together to build a better future.  This is a future that has flying mech suits with optional railguns (SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED, AMMO SOLD SEPARATELY!), invincible car body panels, and another new revenue stream with enormous potential:  invincible engine blocks!  I don't know how that one escaped us for so long.  That one innovation is the only thing AcMo needs to solidify our position as the world's premier engine modifiers.  We could have saved so much heartache and client anguish if we had created invincible engines before we started modifying cars.  Scagnetti's wisdom has opened 1000 new opportunity doors for us.  I can't even keep pace with the ideas flowing right now.

Credit: Science Photo Library - KTSDESIGN Brand X Pictures Getty Images

The shockwaves are still reverberating in my brain.  I don't think I will ever see the world the same way again.  My mind is now completely open to previously invisible possibilities, and AcMo now has multiple new revenue streams to exploit.  One of those new streams isn't like the others AcMo has been creating.  This one will work as advertised the first time it is activated, and we won't even need to offer a money back guarantee to sell it.  In fact, we can't offer that guarantee because too many people have been abusing the system by requesting money back for products AcMo didn't sell.  I can't share--or even hint at--Scagnetti's life altering words due to the proprietary nature of that particular wisdom bomb.  It is so good that AcMo will be able to accelerate world domination plans and shift our 5-year plan down to two weeks.  That is the type of speed AcMo endorses.

Look closely at the picture below.  It is almost exactly what my head and hair looked like the moment after I processed the profundity of Scagnetti's knowledge bomb.  You would be able to see that if you had fMRI eyes or were a superhero of some sort, or both.  Definitely call AcMo if you're both because we always have openings on our roster for individuals with superhuman skill sets.

Credit: Srivas Chennu

I am happy to share the separate revenue stream his idea spawned.  Enlightenment bombs?  Knowledge bombs?  Wisdom bombs?  Whatever the name, Scagnetti knows how to deliver them.  AcMo has to share these side projects with him, and provide him full credit for our new ordinance packages.  Scagnetti's Hand-Made Enlightenment Packages (now with 75% less explosives!) is a perfect name.  Since he will be the agent of record, I am confident AcMo won't have any problems with law enforcement.   AcMo by Scagnetti (notice the ownership distinction) is getting into the arms business.  Specifically, we are going to take lethal bombs and transform them into enlightenment packages.  These enlightenment packages are bespoke and can truly be drop shipped anywhere in the world, as long as our B2 can get there on one fuel stop.  All you have to do to order your very own package is fill out our 230 page questionnaire and provide a valid credit card along with real-time location data.  Our algorithms, satellite tracking system, experienced intelligence gathering personnel, and B2 pilots will take care of the rest.  We anticipate that all of our business will be from first-time clients because it is unlikely most of them will survive the initial impact to the head due to the high speed nature of these packages.  This is why we also need to impart the wisdom as fast as possible.  We can't lose a civil case for fraud if we are able to prove we provided enlightenment, even if it was only for a nanosecond.  Again, this is a scenario during which a person with fMRI eyes or superpowers will be invaluable.

We don't waste anything at AcMo.  Our office furniture came from that dump site down the street.  Most of our important office accouterments originated in a dumpster somewhere.  A couple coats of Lysol will clean just about anything.   The original bomb internals will be repurposed for other projects in the near future.  We plan to utilize the latest recycling tech to transform our cache of borrowed lethal bombs into a cash printing business.  We're calling that one Scagnetti's Explosive Cache For Explosive Cash.  Not bad considering I didn't have to go to the marketing department for that one.  Scagnetti's exploding bills are also single-use items, but their origin won't be traceable back to AcMo if anyone discovers their non-existent reusability.  This is the type of solution without a downside, so we're going all in on this one.

Dropping enlightenment packages and scaling Scagnetti's Explosive Cache For Exploding Cash business is going to be fun.  We will be able to close down all of the payday loan businesses before they realize what has happened.  I never liked Monopoly, but having real monopolies is so much more interesting than a silly board game.  Who wants to live out of a shoe on Park Avenue anyway?  And railways are not that exciting, unless a train is derailing--which happens all of the time--so maybe railways are exciting.  Hmm...a new revenue stream is forming.  AcMo Derailing Train Kits (which are just repackaged regular train kits) are coming soon to a store near you.  We may have to start wearing life jackets to keep from drowning in any of our revenue streams.  AcMo has done it again! 

Jackpot!

I like to build stuff out of carbon fiber when I'm bored.  To be more accurate, I like to build stuff that other people have already spent the development time perfecting.  This improves AcMo's efficiency because we don't waste hours on the wrong approach.  Sometimes we can even use stuff I've built on customer's cars--usually without their knowledge.  I've never met a performance car owner who got upset with owning a lighter car.  Sometimes we are able to add lightness by removing the wheels and engine, but that is an extreme case.  The video below told me everything I needed to know when the creator said that his mech suit could be driven like a car.  All we do at AcMo is drive other people's cars, so driving a mech suit that operates like a car shouldn't be a problem.  Soon we'll be doing more than driving them through your living room.

Driving An Actual Bipedal Mech Suit | Translogic 221

This product needs a lot more development before AcMo would feel comfortable copying the design, but things are moving in the right direction faster than I anticipated.  This is how we're going to position ourselves to win the future.  The mech suit featured in the video has too many exposed belts and is not aerodynamic enough for our intended combat purposes.  It also has no speed at the moment, and that is an AcMo prerequisite.

Do not worry, we have the technology required to improve the design and make it fly.

These models will be available in various color schemes and armament levels.  The only restriction in terms of options is your budget.  You will never have to endure your neighbor's barking dog in the middle of the night again.  You'll never again be late to anything because nothing will start before you arrive in your mech suit.  The world will soon be able to forget about misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and wars once AcMo brings our peacekeeper mechs online.

What we're attempting to do here is save humanity from itself by taking control of everything.  Once we're finished we can get back to what we were supposed to be doing which was modifying cars to make them temporarily go faster than they should.  That's another thing that will soon disappear:  traffic enforcement.  That way we can do our testing on public roads with impunity.

Standing on the cusp of a new way of life is so exciting!  I just hope there is enough time to build an army of these before the robots become self-aware and start their attack on us.

The above pictured models have been around for a long time and have proven their battle effectiveness and flight capabilities.  All we're going to do is reverse engineer their propulsion systems and flight controls so that we can deliver the total package.  To whom we'll deliver that package is a difficult question to answer at the moment.  My business sense is telling me that a few hundred of these would allow AcMo to form our own private military company, and then we could do whatever we wanted.  However, these peacekeepers would be a problem in our competitor's hands, or anyone who has an ongoing disagreement with us.  Sometimes sales need to be sacrificed for the health of the organization.

It is important for everyone to understand how close we are to realizing the dream.  I have also been working on plans to miniaturize the mechs so that they can fit through standard doorways and park in most garages.  A smaller size along with our upcoming stealth enhancement packages could give us an insurmountable competitive advantage.

This is the most exciting project AcMo has ever undertaken, and it all originated from the desire to rid the world of traffic.  It has grown into so much more since that initial design briefing to create a trafficide system.  Evolution is a wonderful process.   I can’t wait to get our beta tester into one of our garage compatible prototypes. It is going to transform his commute...and yours if you obstruct traffic by improperly using the left lane. 

I neglected to mention one minor detail regarding the cockpits.  The first couple of prototypes are being designed to such tight tolerances that once a tester is installed in the cockpit the situation becomes permanent. This is why we increased the stealth aspects while reducing the suit’s size. We want our testers to be able to continue with as much of their daily routine as possible while in their new permanent home.  I doubt our beta tester will mind since he’ll probably have a functioning railgun and flight capabilities. 

Invincible Flying Armor

AcMo has been running on emergency power since the last post.  A massive problem arose that required all of my processing capabilities.  This all started a few days ago when Scagnetti told me something so profound that my brain started leaking.  I'm still working out how to turn the wisdom he shared into an infinite revenue stream.  More on that when I have a solution.  Perhaps it is different for you, but ideas drop out of my head like a waterfall whenever my brain is leaking.  I can't control the flow or direction.  I came up with 6 unique lawn care products while I was composing the previous sentence.  I don't even like lawns.

The most immediate issue is related to our newest and most promising project.  Our version of McLaren Applied Technologies' Project Invincible needs a new name.  I've spent the last several days trying to understand what that name is.  I've done nothing else during that period.  The messages have been accumulating, and my energy reserves are depleted, but I can't move forward until AcMo's marketing department is satisfied.

Invincible Flying Armor is not the name, but that's what the product is.  We have to be extremely circumspect with distribution because it can cause AcMo a lot of problems if it gets into the wrong hands.  This is why we have suspended the employee discount program.  I know there are a few people at WAcMo HQ who would like to use the invincible flying armor in a manner that would be detrimental to AcMo's continued operations.

The good news is that we are working hard to create invincible flying armor for personal use and peacekeeping operations worldwide.  These suits will only be legal to sell in specific territories with the optional railguns* (some assembly required, ammo not included) sold separately.  It is the purchaser's responsibility to confirm that the suit and optional railgun (some assembly required, ammo sold separately) are legal in their jurisdiction before taking delivery.  If it is determined that a shipped suit is in fact not legal, AcMo's best advise is to assemble the railgun as fast as possible and activate the suit because you will need persuasive leverage when conversing with the local authorities.

AcMo is accelerating momentum, so of course we already have a plan to create an evolutionary model to maintain our competitive advantage in personal peacekeeping armaments, and we are pleased to announce that development of our incredible invincible invisible flying armor (name still to be determined) with optional railgun has started.  As always, there is some bad news to go along with this announcement.  The invincible invisible flying armor with optional railgun is only designed to fit me.  No one else can be trusted with that kind of power.  This is the same rationale that explains why the United States can have nuclear weapon stockpiles, but other countries can't.

I have made several serendipitous discoveries during the past week that are helping to keep this project moving forward.  These pieces keep falling into place like a slow moving autonomous jigsaw puzzle.  The signs all indicate AcMo needs to create those puzzles when we have a few free minutes to waste.  A few of the pieces will be discussed at a later date because I only have so much time and space in each post.  I know I could use a wormhole to fix that problem, but the one in the dishwasher continues to grow unabated, and I no longer have any dishes, so I'm going to resist the urge to create another one right now.

$2 million competition aims to make jetpacks a reality by 2019

It is unfair for AcMo to enter this competition, but we're going to anyway.  The prize money will compensate us for the work we had been funding ourselves.  That's a great way to further our development.   With McLaren Applied Technologies (MAT) doing all of the hard work, we shouldn't have any trouble winning.  However, our goal is not to have a 20 mile range, but to create an unlimited power source that uses a hybrid kinetic charger and small cold fusion reactor.  I know MAT can handle the armor stuff, that leaves AcMo to deliver on the power source and to create a pipeline to siphon MAT's data and production facilities for our project.  An unlimited power source could mean that we will have suits flying almost non-stop reconnaissance missions except for food and bathroom breaks for the operators.  That observation frequency will change how the world conducts itself because we will always be watching and ready to fire from above.  I think this will solve all of our traffic problems in a couple of weeks.

The other piece joining us came from an unlikely source, but nature has a way of being involved in everything.  We will be able to upgrade the stealth aspect of our flying armor by kidnapping a bunch of owls:  A Beautiful Wing Design Solution Inspired By Owl Feathers.  This wing design innovation will help us evolve our project to the point that we will be able to create our very own fleet of silent flying armored ninjas.  The negotiating power of that fleet is going to be incredible.  I briefly thought about creating suits for the owls, but I don't want to get involved in additional bird projects since things went wrong with our twin turbocharged peregrine falcon.

A lot of people have been asking for more details about our optional portable railgun (some assembly required, ammo sold separately) and whether or not it exists.  We are smart enough to acknowledge that the quickest path to greatness is to copy the work of greater minds.  That's how AcMo has made it this far despite the odds against us.

There are others out there who are trying to make portable railguns a reality:  3D printing used to make first real handheld railgun, which fires plasma projectiles at 560 mph.  The problem with that railgun is the projectile speed is 1500 mph slower than the minimum speed required before it could be branded an AcMo product.  Still, we might go looking for that guy to see if he needs some help.  The design of his railgun does leave a lot of room for improvement.

Our railgun is based on the one used by former Navy SEAL (not confirmed), Fortune (pictured below).  There are a number of reasons to select this design, but the primary one is that our suits will not need the sling to secure the railgun to the suit.  That will save us at least a couple of ounces, and when you're flying, every ounce counts.

The only problem with this part of the plan is that I'm not 100% certain that Fortune is real and that she actually has a functioning railgun.  I've seen a lot of videos that claim to depict her using the railgun in combat, but the pixels are fuzzy, so I'm not sure if the video has been manipulated by someone trying to fool the general public.  I am tirelessly scouring the globe for her railgun so I can take measurements and understand the physics of a peacekeeper that powerful that can be hand operated.  Because our suits enhance human strength 3000x, I'm not at all worried about recoil issues.

Some people who lack common sense might be laughing at AcMo right now, but I promise you they will stop the moment we start doing routine peacekeeping flyovers with our railgun (some assembly required, ammo sold separately—WAcMo disclaimer) equipped flying invincible armor suits.

All the laughing will stop then.




*The WAcMo COO immediately contacted me to get on the pre-order list for the railgun that came with ammo because I didn't add the disclaimer ONE time.  I put him on the list for a suit because it is the only way to purchase the optional railgun, but we DO NOT assemble the gun or supply the ammo.  I can't stress this enough both for AcMo's protection against frivolous consumer lawsuits, and because I do not need the ATF and the FBI pestering me again about unauthorized cross border arms shipments.  That was a simple clerical error that we resolved after several years of constant communication.  Those acronym agency desk agents are persistent.

The Trafficide Highway

The hard way usually appears to be the most obvious until continuous refinement erodes the difficulty to reveal an easier path.  AcMo has dedicated thousands of hours to perfecting our road vehicle based trafficide weapons system. The routine and constant obstacles have made it clear that we have been forging the hard path. We know our goal is within reach, but a less complicated path has presented itself because of an unforeseen human obstacle.

AcMo's beta tester balked when he learned that the trafficide weapons system would add more than 42,000 pounds to his vehicle.  I understand his hesitance because I'm almost positive the simulations were correct and the real-life car would fold during the first test shot.  I don't think I need to explain what that kind of mass would do to a person in the middle of it when it folded.  Yeah, he might be a little crazy to beta test for us, but he isn't that crazy.

The great thing about our last living beta tester is that he is easy to reassure.  Once he found out about our flight capable AcMo Man project based on McLaren Applied Technologies' Project Invincible and that British dude's jet pack, he started to become interested again.  The deciding factor was AcMo's announcement of a portable railgun option for the AcMo Man suit (some assembly required, ammo sold separately).  What I didn't disclose to the beta tester is that he would still have to drive his car, but now he would do it in the comfort of his own personal AcMo Man suit with optional railgun (some assembly required, ammo sold separately).  There are a number of benefits to this approach.  He can eject himself through the sunroof if he gets bored and continue his commute in the air raining shells from above.  I am confident that the engineers will have figured out how to get his car to come to a safe stop after he's ejected by the time the flight suit (some assembly required, ammo sold separately--I can't stress this enough) becomes a viable option.  Even if the engineers don't succeed, we'll tell him they did because I know the thrusters will melt his interior the first time he ejects anyway.

The real solution came to me in a dream two nights ago.  I was traveling on a stretch of unrestricted highway at a high rate of speed because that is the only way to travel in an AcMo car.  The location seemed familiar, but I don't want to divulge that information in case this wasn't a dream and I was sleep driving again.  I had two passengers in the car with me, but I couldn't see their faces.  We were in a hurry to get somewhere when a car in front of us slowed for no reason.  The traffic conditions in the middle and left lane (THAT'S THE PASSING LANE, PEOPLE!) prevented us from making a clean pass, so I had to slow the vehicle.  Seconds later the car in front of us transformed into a lump of molten metal.  That's when I noticed the multiple railgun embankments in the median and sides of the highway.  It only takes a few correctly placed railgun to cover hundreds of miles of highway.

I awoke as I was crashing into the lump of metal that used to be a car in front of me.  I grabbed my journal to record as many details as possible so I could start creating the plan.  I had finally found the answer! The hardship involved in shrinking a rail gun to fit in a car and then maintaining that car’s drivability has been humbling. Using full scale railgun was the easiest possible action. All we need to do is plant full size railgun on every major highway system in the US.  The DOT contract for these installations will produce a wonderful revenue stream for AcMo.  Once the reload time improves, we would be able to hit multiple targets from several miles away without having to worry about melting our customer’s car.

Traffic Enforcement just got real.

The highway gauntlet only rewards those with the speed to survive.  We plan to lobby the DOT to install trafficide enabled lanes to make our efforts legal nationwide.  AcMo will be a sponsor for the clean-a-highway program in these sections.  That gives our field engineers the opportunity to see the railguns in action and to collect the lumps of molten metal left behind after a successful impact.  I believe we will be able to repurpose the remains for use in our AcMo Man project (some assembly required, ammo sold separately).  We will need to secure land rights to place our railgun, but that won't be a problem when an AcMo Man shows up to negotiate prices while brandishing the optional personal portable railgun.

Drones and satellite surveillance will provide a clear picture of real-time traffic and will allow us to always keep the path clear for our beta tester.  There will be a controlled delay to keep him a safe distance from targets to avoid any loose shrapnel, fires, or crashes similar to what happened to me in my dream.  It won’t take long for people to realize that the left lane will not provide safety from vaporization if obstructing traffic.  We hope to be able to add a Waze layer showing both railgun positions and vaporized vehicle locations.  It is a public service thing.  I thought our beta tester would enjoy having a HUD to help with preliminary target acquisition and gun telemetry, so we borrowed one from a video game.  It should work.

Fortunately, everything we need to move the railguns into position already exists.  A trailer similar to the one pictured below will make the job so much easier than dragging them World's Strongest Man style, which is what we were going to do because we're that strong.

Picture a bunch of these staring you down on your daily commute, but in a nice shade of red.

A new revenue stream has presented itself because of this wonderful project.  AcMo Highway Repair will come online along with the trafficide program to fix the damage caused by the melting cars and supersonic shells.  We will have a perpetual self-generating profit center since we'll be the ones causing the damage.

There is also a synergy with WAcMo's Invisible body project.  Invisible bodies and unbreakable ones especially will save motorists when the targeting system malfunctions.  It will be difficult for the system to lock onto an invisible body, but if it manages that, the impenetrable panels will keep our clients safe.

Everything is starting to look possible again, which is nice because we don't have a lot of time to prepare before the robots attack.  The future isn't about AI, cloud computing, quantum computers, or retail shopping; the only future that matters is the one in which AcMo can sell flying suits with optional railguns.  Who wouldn't want to be part of that glorious future?  Who other than those drivers who obstruct traffic and hog the left lane, but I have a feeling they will be disappearing soon.

Building a Better Human

I don't like the picture these new puzzle pieces are forming.  The human race will be responsible for causing the eradication of the human race if an intervention doesn't happen soon.  This is why AcMo likes to focus on cars.  Cars will never become autonomous enough to run us over because they don't need us any longer or don't like the cut of our jibs.  We have people on staff who have been run over by a regular car--actually it was a pickup truck--and the experience is not pleasurable according to the victim's report.  That was a pickup with a regular human driver.  The unemotional chips inside a future car won't have any problem running down humans just because it can.

People don't realize how dangerous the world will become when some of the non-automotive advances being discussed today become commonplace.  The alarm has been ringing for so long that everyone ignores it just like the neighbor's dog that barks for two hours every single night starting at 20:00.  This is what happens in the car park when someone breaks into your car and the alarm activates.  No one even bothers to look in the direction of the car because it happens all of the time.  That is probably what you say to yourself when you hear it, but then find out your car is the one missing from the lot, and no one did anything to help.  The least a witness could do is film the theft on a cell phone and post it to social media, but even that is too much effort for a silly car alarm.

I am going to make sure people start listening to the alarm now and take action before it is too late.  We often remind each other at AcMo to armor up before heading into the field for testing.  This is important because we crash a lot and stuff tends to blow up on us for no good reason.  Our armor could use an upgrade, and I found the place to get it today.

Project Invincible - McLaren Applied Technologies

Project Invincible was created by McLaren Applied Technologies for a mysterious Client X.  I bet this client wanted to remain anonymous, but that is super difficult to do when you have products specifically created for your body and then publicize these products in the media.  My educated guess is that Project Invincible was commissioned by Mansour Ojjeh for his personal use since he had a double lung transplant in 2013, and that is the exact type of procedure that would weaken a person's chest.  Maybe its just a coincidence and there's another billionaire out there with an ownership stake in all of McLaren's businesses who needs a bullet resistant--there's no such thing as bulletproof--chest plate to help him feel safe while performing his daily activities.

Interview with McLaren Formula 1 team's Mansour Ojjeh

Project invincible sounds neat, and I would be thrilled about its existence any other day if taken in isolation.  However, today I came across another news story that changed everything:  3D 'muscle' lifts 1000 times own weight.  The T-800 pictured in the article was not an accident.  Too many clues are pointing at the same inevitable outcome.

This is how robotic armageddon begins.  First, an ordinary billionaire will equip bullet resistant armor and then add 3D extra strength muscles to begin the transformation into a superhero.  Next comes the jet pack to form a real Iron Man type suit.  You think I'm kidding, but I never joke when it comes to hastening progress toward robots decimating humanity, and that's exactly where these shenanigans are heading.

Britain's "Iron Man" breaks his own jet-suit speed record

The Real Life Iron Man Jetpack that Actually Flies

In less than one week, McLaren Applied Technologies can design an entire suit for Client Ojjeh, sorry, I mean, Client X.  All of the necessary data has already been acquired, and once McLaren create their own propulsion units, I guarantee there will be sightings of a flying man in the skies around Woking.

All it takes is for one genius to realize that a computer inside of a robot would be able to process the calculations for proper combat flight far better than any human could.  That realization will be the catalyst for building a demo version just to see how it might work.  That small, almost invisible error in a single line of code that causes the robot to become self-aware will result in the determination that human life is expendable.  The people who haven't prepared for this will be finished.  AcMo will be fine because we're building robot defense systems in preparation of the day the robots come for us.  The 3D extra strong muscles will help us thrive in a post-human world controlled by robots. 

AcMo is moving at full speed to develop our own Iron Man suit to be used by our beta tester.  He will become our best defense against the robot attack if it comes to that.  Our suit will work as a deterrent to war because it will have a weapon that no one else has:  a functioning railgun.  We're so close to making this happen that I'm almost happy the robots will be coming for us soon.  They won't even know what hit them when the railgun shell punches a hole in their chests.  I just hope that will be enough to deter their uprising because it will be years before we're able to develop several multi-shot personal railgun Iron Man attachments.  Those are years we may not have.

Trafficide Testing

The thing about trafficide is that it is always dangerous and *maybe* illegal.  Those two factors, and a bunch more I haven't mentioned, create a challenging test environment.  The good news is that AcMo personnel have never backed down from a challenge.  Yes,  danger raises the excitement level a bit, but we're looking for practical vehicle-based highway warfare solutions to propel us into the future.  Testing is expensive, and railguns are difficult.  We mitigate both of those downsides by letting the Navy handle initial testing for us.  No Navy official will confirm or deny our testing partnership because it is not public knowledge.  We move forward when the Navy makes breakthroughs, which is why this project has taken longer than AcMo's normal prototype to production timeline of 3 days.  This recent news means we can move closer to scaling the Navy's railgun down to a size that will more or less fit into our test vehicle.

Navy Railgun Successfully Fires Multi-Shot Salvos

This is the first time I've allowed myself to get excited about the possibilities.  AcMo's Trafficide project has worked so long to perfect this system, and now we are closing in on our first real-world tests.  The simulations have all looked glorious up to this point, so I don't expect any surprises once we mount the railgun on the test vehicle and go loud with it.

I don't want you to think this means we'll be ready to test tomorrow.  There are still a number of items that must be addressed before we can start target practice.  Chief among those items is occupant protection.  Our beta tester will be subjected to tremendous noise and heat from the railgun.  At first we thought using his vehicle in stock form would be viable, but after looking at the extensive safety modifications required, we changed our minds.  The problem is that this project needs to adhere to strict safety guidelines, which isn't normal for AcMo.  I treat most guidelines as suggestions to ignore.

These mockups lack the LIDAR targeting system and x-ray laser gun because we need to move in stages and get the railgun installed before we worry about adding the other extra cost items.  We also need to figure out how much additional weight this paper-thin chassis can support before we start piling on options.  The last thing we need is another car chassis to fold in on itself because we've asked it to withstand far more stresses than it was designed to experience.  Things would be so much easier if a chassis could talk.  Then it could just tell us that it can't handle the extra weight, or heat, or cornering forces, or the roof racks, etc.  Yes, a talking chassis needs to become a reality.  Maybe we'll even look into creating trash talking chassis to go along with the trafficide thing.  I sense an entertaining highlight reel upcoming.

We need a wagon

The sedan isn't large enough to securely hold the power equipment, shells, fast loader and railgun inside the vehicle.  The engineers are working right now to reconfigure the engine so that the intercooler doesn't have a railgun sticking through it.  The level of heat the railgun generates is not going to help the intercooler work its magic on the charge air.  In fact, the intercooler in the stock location was the first thing that melted in every simulation.  The second melting object was the driver.  Third was the passengers, if applicable, and fourth was the car itself.

The simulations made it clear that the driver and any unlucky passengers would be exposed to high voltages, high heat, and the concussive blasts from launched shells.  While we do not rate driver and/or passenger comfort high on our list of concerns, survivability is, and melting was not on the list of survivable events.  The sedan configuration proved the trafficide system would work as designed, but it would also destroy the operator.  Operator destruction was not one of the items on the to-do list.  We only have one reliable beta tester left, so we need to create a survivable firing solution.  The whole point of the system is to take out other drivers, not our own.

Not a wagon, but a portable railgun provides the option to make your own rally route.

I thought a rally car would work since its stripped interior would provide more space to create a survival cell for the vehicle occupants. We scaled the railgun down to its smallest size while maintaining its target melting force and it is still too large to fit inside the vehicle.  These are the types of issues I would guess the Fairchild designers encountered when developing the A-10.

Our solution is to use all of the extra cargo space in the STI wagon to make the gun barrel and the rest of the railgun fit inside the vehicle.  The packaging requirements will reduce the passenger capacity from 3-4 down to 1.  This is required because we can't handle the liability of having minors seated on top of a high voltage power unit.  That never ends well.  Stealth is an important factor because a conspicuous barrel sticking out of the hood of a Subaru will draw the attention of people who don't need to know what's going on with that railgun.  Because the firing speed is still not up to a rate that makes me happy, we need the vehicle to blend in while it reloads.

AcMo will boldly travel along the path already formed by other brilliant engineers when we create a survival cell out of aircraft grade titanium armor.  The strength of the armor should create at least a few seconds for emergency evacuation when the gun starts melting the vehicle and/or a power surge occurs.

Another challenge is the shift in vehicle dynamics as a result of adding 42,000+ pounds to the vehicle in a position above the vehicle's centerline.  This messes with the center of gravity and creates stability issues.  The handling must be on point if we have any hope of selling this product to interested parties.  The last thing a railgun car owner wants is to be targeted by another one as a result of impeding traffic because the car has become too unstable to drive.  This is the part of the plan I don't love so much.  The suspension and tires have to be completely redesigned to compensate for the added weight of the equipment and the chassis needs to be reinforced so that it doesn't pancake itself upon the initial test firing.  This is hard work with numbers and complex torsional rigidity models.  Any incorrect calculations at this point could mean the end of the project.  That's why I'm trusting my gut and creating the numbers by intuition and random guesses.  The worst case scenario means we'll have to find a new beta tester, vehicle, and railgun to start fresh.  

I am confident that in-vehicle testing will commence the moment we have solved a few of the above referenced issues.  The excitement around AcMo HQ is higher than it has ever been.  Everyone here is hoping that we'll be able to revolutionize intelligent traffic management forever by systematically eliminating impeding vehicles from the grid.  The only thing stopping us from achieving the dream is heat management.  And reload speed.  And power management.  And vehicle stability.  And the targeting system.  AcMo is so close to meeting the objective, as you can see if you're paying attention to the details.  It won't be long now until the glorious sound of supersonic shells flying on the highway becomes commonplace to drivers keeping right like they're supposed to unless passing slower vehicles.   

AcMo Spin Control Ver. 2.3

We tried to get this going once before with Spin Control, but we didn't engage enough resources at the time to make it viable.  We didn't make that mistake with Version 2.3.  It has a number of updated features and bug fixes.  Our spin control module is designed to fit inside your car's relay panel and will enhance the ECU's ability to prevent spins.  The module analyses data from every sensor in the vehicle, correlates that to road speed, direction of travel, intended direction of travel, and likelihood of the two directions of travel being the same.  The module then translates this information to the ECU so that it can take appropriate action if the car is destined for the nearest ditch.  It sounds simple, but it is quite complex.  The control algorithms have taken us years to create and perfect.  The module will prevent power from reaching the ECU in extreme cases.  The end result is that our vehicles can't be spun under their own power.

Another exciting new feature contained in Version 2.3 is the ability to alter all incoming bad AcMo news turning it positive.  We stumbled onto this curious side effect while teaching the module how to prevent vehicle spins.  Somehow it figured out that news is not that different from vehicle dynamics and started applying its skills where needed.  This is all relevant because the module has done a remarkable job of translating a startling report that originated from WAcMo HQ this morning.

It appears that the WAcMo COO has taken offense to my comments yesterday and has decided to fire back to prove the division's worth to AcMo.  It is a bit distressing that there are revelations contained in his messages that prove they are deeper into their advanced research than I realized.  This work has created products that are ready to ship and all we need to do is finalize the AcMo WAcMo revenue sharing agreement.

Not cold chillin' like I thought. 

WAcMo's COO took a whole day to point out that the colored people in this picture are in fact WAcMo employees.  Perhaps he realized something no one else did, or he is fabricating stories to justify his continued role within WAcMo.  Either way, it is thought provoking information.  He had no explanation for these employees not wearing their official WAcMo apparel while in public, but I think I have an answer for that.  According to the COO, these employees are working on the invisible panel project and this is a field test of some of the panels.  I can verify that the panels have achieved amazing invisibility levels, but at what cost?

The InvisoPanel® (WAcMo named it without my permission) Project's research indicated a potential stumbling block that my original hypothesis ignored.  I intuitively reasoned that invisible panels were also impervious panels, and that any car would become a tank if equipped with an invisible body.  WAcMo's testing has revealed that invisible bodies are no stronger than visible ones, and that they are damaged more frequently because they are invisible.  This damage can impact aero efficiency and thus reduce the performance envelope of the vehicle.  We are against any performance deficits, especially ones created by us.

The problems don't stop with aero deficiencies.  Ripped panels yield sharp edges that can injure pedestrians or other motorists because they can't see the jagged edges.  The COO is concerned about lawsuits taking down his division.  While lawsuits are always a concern at AcMo, our legal team is confident that it would be impossible for a plaintiff to prove damages from a panel that can't be seen.  However, ripped panels do not help the performance envelope either, so this needs to be addressed before we sell people invisible panels that we say can't be damaged but really can.

Advancements in the build process have yielded two classes of panels that will soon be available to consumers worldwide.  The second class panel is the AcMo ImpervoPanel® by WAcMo which is impervious to damage but completely visible.  UPS shipping is available at extra cost and insurance, and trust me, you want the insurance.  These panels are designed for the budget oriented who crash a lot.  It must be clarified that a vehicle fitted with ImpervoPanels® can be used as a weapon, so appropriate care is required when driving.  This won't be much of a problem once we have validated our trafficide weapons system because nothing is impervious to that advanced armament solution.

The first class panel is the AcMo ImpervoInvisoPanel® which has the benefits of the ImpervoPanel®, but also has the bonus feature of invisibility.  These first class panels are not cheap and can't be shipped via UPS.  The base price for a complete set is at least thirty times the MSRP of the vehicle to which you would like to affix the panels.  The pricing model was necessary to recoup the research expenditure required to perfect these panels, so we don't expect to sell more than a few hundred.

These breakthroughs were only possible because we have a dedicated staff of 49 different colored people toiling away in their labs 24/7 overseen by a dedicated COO.  That isn't entirely true.  These breakthroughs were only possible because I had the vision to assemble 49 colored people and give them direction and purpose and select the right person to lead them to the promised land.  Had I not created the original mission, those people would be nothing more than art installations.

The COO believes I should throw our colored people a couple extra blocks to recognize their service to the organization and their incredible breakthroughs.  Unlike the COO, I need to consider the overall environment with every action I take.  I will not have enough colored people on staff if I start providing extra blocks because they will finish their ship way ahead of schedule and flee to Rainbowlia before the end of their contract term.  WAcMo would be forced to shut down, and we would lose one of our most valuable divisions.  I have a solution because of my vast experience dealing with situations like this.  I will reward extra blocks for their work, but I will also sneak into their hangar bay and strategically remove important blocks to delay their ship completion progress.  It will be like my own private game of Jenga.  I  can keep them indefinitely with a brilliant plan like that.

The spin control module forces everything to make sense and always in AcMo's favor.  The ImpervoPanel® line was a covert project developed by AcMo.  It was designed to produce a new revenue stream and to also confirm that our security protocols are robust and efficient.  The secrecy required to complete this project was immense.  There was no other way to confirm project sanctity than to accuse the COO of not recognizing members of his colored people staff.  He sort of passed the test, or he's really good at making up stories, but we now know that AcMo is poised to control the market for invisible car bodies for years.

Responsible Personnel Management

When I see RPM I get excited at the possibility of a number greater than 10,000.  Anything less is unacceptable.  RPM in the automotive world is the abbreviation for the most important metric in an engine's ability to make power.  Revolutions Per Minute (how many minutes it can spin before exploding is determined by the state of tune and fuel octane rating) tell you everything you need to know about an engine.  The party doesn't start until 10,000 is surpassed.  Our street tuned engines blow up at 10,001 RPM, but man is it a sweet explosion!  The F1 engines we may or may not acquire can rev at least 5000 rpm more than our best street tuned engine.  Those kinds of revs are the reason why AcMo works so hard at perfecting engine explosions.

Internal AcMo operations use Responsible Personnel Management (RPM) to keep our employees in line.  Our WAcMo COO contacted HQ1 in the early morning hours to ask a question about the current staff.  He thought the people pictured below were WAcMo employees.  While we do have red, orange, yellow, and green people on staff, we also have blue, indigo, and violet.  All of our colored people wear their WAcMo gear at all times and are also not permitted breaks during daylight hours.

Cold chillin' 

I could immediately tell that these colored people weren't part of WAcMo because they weren't wearing their bomb proof suits and helmets, and there aren't any engine parts in front of them.  The biggest clue is the lack of motor oil stains all over the place.  Unless you've changed the oil on a car, you don't have any idea how easy it is for oil to splash everywhere.  The stuff seems to replicate and one will often find that the amount of spilled oil is greater than the volume in the vehicle.  Oil is one of the few liquids that only increases in volume during spills.

It was troubling that our COO didn't recognize that these were not WAcMo personnel given the large amount of clues available.  Our colored people aren't allowed out of their engine rooms, and that doesn't look like any of our engine rooms.  There's too much open air which can bring contaminants that hamper engine reliability.  All of those windows would give too much access to our proprietary engine building techniques.  It almost seems as if our COO doesn't know what WAcMo HQ looks like.  I'll have to inquire about that.  He will be in need of re-education, and reprogramming if my suspicion turns out to be correct.

This oversight indicates that I need to do a better job of handling our people because the COO is asking questions that should never be asked.  I swear, if he even hints at asking when he'll get paid I will go ballistic.  I'm so tired of people expecting payment for services rendered like money just appears out of the ether.  Our revenue streams can't accommodate payouts.  That's one of the reasons we use colored people similar to the ones pictured above, but not the ones pictured above.  They don't complain or cause drama, they just do their work in silence.  They lack mouths, so that explains why they operate in silent mode.  It is zen like watching them assemble an engine.  They don't need food or water--again, no mouths, and they don't need sick days or vacation.  They just work.  In fact, I don't think we have any of them on contract.

It took me a long time to build the whole team.  There are 7 in each squad and they are always the same colors:  red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.  We have 7 squads to keep the situation symmetrical.  These are high precision constructions despite their exterior appearance.  AcMo's organ harvesting division is responsible for stuffing their insides with all of the essential elements to get them to function semi-autonomously.

AcMo doesn't like to take credit for most of the stuff we do, but we are always quick to take credit for other people's work that appears promising.  In this instance, our ingenious workforce multiplication scheme was an internal AcMo creation that was the result of our last whistleblower and one too many OSHA violations.  These new crews are happy to be here and eager to work for additional blocks.

They think I don't know, but I see where those additional blocks go.  The colored people are building their own ship to fly them back to their home planet of Rainbowlia.  I let them continue because I think some of their design solutions are innovative, and since they can't file lawsuits, AcMo can license their tech for free for our own purposes.  Having that tech in house makes the whole job even easier.  AcMo is always seeking efficient processes to help us achieve our goals with the least amount of labor possible.

 

AcMo Invisible Car Bodies

The Honda F1 mission impossible originated because someone doubted AcMo's ability to do what I said we could do.  It didn't turn into a fiasco until I started to create the blueprint.  That was the moment I realized the situation was not going to conclude in AcMo's favor.  I think I’ve proven by now that AcMo is more than capable of handling a simple unauthorized IP loan and reassignment, but we chose not to push forward after realizing our efforts would be wasted because of Honda's incompetence. Be aware that it was our choice to suspend the Honda F1 operation because of outside factors.  We remain capable of executing should Honda's F1 staff indicate any level of actual competence.  No problem because we've abandoned that plan and adapted!  This new challenge AcMo finds itself facing materialized because that same person has again challenged AcMo’s logic regarding the utility of an invisible car body, and our ability to do the impossible.

Well, good sir, I say, "Challenge accepted!"  I should have learned by now not to say that, but I can't help myself.  The words just spill out on their own.  This is why I had to forego accepting dares after I lost an eyebrow in a suspicious chemical fire.  Fire burns of any type are painful, but caustic chemicals on fire add an additional trauma level.

My eyes were opened for the first time yesterday after receiving clearance from the ER staff.  I discovered that I was living in a new world in which invisible car bodies existed.  The research indicates that this is an industry wide standard that isn't openly discussed.  I only found out because I am super observant and detail oriented.  You may not have ever noticed had I not mentioned it.  Now that I know invisible bodies are real, I can't not see them everywhere.  The tech was in front of us the whole time!

A Porsche 918 Spyder with the super special invisible body option.  The front e-motor would benefit from the same treatment.

See how the 918 almost completely blends into its surroundings?  It's the ultimate stealth package.

This is an Aston Martin One 77 from several years ago before anyone knew about invisible bodies.

Ferrari LaFerrari (Ha!  That name) showing off its invisible body.

McLaren had to up their game with the P1 and also made invisible seats and steering wheel.

This new product line of invisible body parts is going to be phenomenal as soon as we learn how to acquire our own invisible bodies.  Shipping will be so efficient since we will be able to send empty large boxes anywhere in the world.  It won't even matter if UPS attacks the boxes because you can't damage an invisible car body.  That will probably make the UPS crew angry, but I only ship stuff with them if it belongs to a customer or I don't care if it arrives in the same condition I shipped it.

The order books are going to explode after people realize how great these invisible bodies will be.  We may create the world's first certified stealth car.  The traffic enforcement professionals will not know how to adapt.  Consider that a win for speeders everywhere--except in neighborhoods because it isn't wise to speed there.  You can’t clock what you can’t see. The only possible problem will be lack of anonymity if the window tint can’t withstand the invisibility process.  Otherwise a cop will be able to ID you without much effort.

Our favorite critic asked for a white paper explaining how the stealth capabilities can benefit society.  I sent a blank sheet of paper to keep him from interrupting our important work.  He might infer from the use of negative space that there are too many answers to limit the paper to just one.  While there are many others out there who also want to know how the invisible body project works, take comfort in the fact that I would like to know as well!  One thing stopping AcMo from answering that question with confidence and also shipping invisible bodies today is that we don’t yet have an invisible body in the shop for analysis, as far as I know.

The  invisible body along with AcMo Rum produced using the highest quality dehydrated water available will make for an unbeatable business process when we begin to scale our rum running operation.  I think we will be able to ship amounts comparable to Tequila Patron or Red Bull within weeks.  We will have fantastic profit margins as well due to our reduced shipping weight.  I would guess industry leading margins.

Thinking with precise logic about securing our own invisible car bodies has created a key insight.  There must be a common supplier for the technology.  I refuse to believe all of the auto manufacturers independently created the same tech at the same time.  A tier 1 supplier has to be the answer because it is a lot less effort to infiltrate a supplier’s system than an OEM.  I know this from experience.

We need to determine which supplier to target.  I’m going with Robert Bosch GmbH. They are one of the largest Automotive suppliers in the world, and my first guess.  It has to be right.  I can feel it in my gut.  Bosch should be vulnerable now because of the recent diesel scandal.  I can either employ social engineering to gain access to their data, or suggest to them that they help me or further evidence of emissions related malfeasance will suddenly appear in the media and in the DOJ's hands.

If none of those approaches work, I will have to get creative, which I hate doing.  Creative thinking leads to such unpredictable results.  The invisibility cloak would allow me to walk into the building and get what I need without being detected.  The only problem is that we haven't been able to keep the cloak powered for more than 30 seconds.  I may be fast, but I'm not that fast.  I would never make it into the server room, borrow the IP, and escape the building in 30 seconds or less.  It would be fitting if I could fight invisibility with invisibility though.  This is now a chicken or egg scenario, but if I had an invisible body small car--perhaps a Smart--I could drive it into the facility and hack the servers on the move.  That appears to be a viable option right now.

UPDATE:  Additional research has created an unfortunate dilemma.  Bosch don't make car bodies.  I'm not sure who does, but Bosch is so connected that I think they'll still make an excellent target.
 
I dare to dream that it may one day be a reality that all supercars have an invisible body option supplied by AcMo.  The empire will continue to grow with innovations like that in our portfolio.  It goes without saying--but I want to say it anyway--that our competitors won't even see us coming.

Adaptation

This isn't similar to what happens when a Hollywood studio finds a great book and then turns it into a mediocre movie that only shares the title and a few character names with its source material.  No, this is the real deal natural world adaptation that occurs when organisms need to survive right now, not 1000 years from now.  ECUs in most high performance cars--we don't like to deal with anything else--adapt to the manner in which a driver drives them.  AcMo does it too.  We have only survived this long because of our unmatched ability to adapt to everything.  Everything except poor automotive styling.  I still haven't figured out how to handle that.  Although, I think our trafficide weapons system could be repurposed into a style arbiter.  Heaven help you if you're holding up traffic while in a terrible looking car.  The trafficide system will find you and disintegrate your ride.  Actually, it doesn't matter what you're driving if you're holding up traffic.  The trafficide system's AI is programmed to act with swift targeting decisions.  We hope to have our first on-road beta tests soon.  We're excited to see how many cars we can melt before the rail gun destroys our test vehicle either by overheating or imploding, or both if we're lucky.

AcMo needs those engines!

The world premiere of the Mercedes-AMG Project One concept car at the Frankfurt International Auto Salon has given me an opportunity to adapt and find a new route to achieve our mission impossible.  Gaining unsupervised access to current F1 cars has proven more difficult than I expected.  Part of the allure of adapting is that it should result in an easier route to our goal.  AcMo would brute force our attempt if we were as strong as water, but we aren't...yet.  I'm working on some theories that could yield at least temporary water level strength.

The engine in the Project One has been designed for reliability and longevity that surprises what is required for a F1 car's engine.  This is actually a bonus for our mission because this road car engine will still be more powerful and reliable than Honda's current race engine, and it will provide their engineers with valuable data that will show them how to build a real race engine.

Horrible thoughts have begun entering my consciousness as the thought hours I've lost on this project continue to climb.  Honda may find a way to mess up this brilliant plan, perhaps they'll install the engine backward and detonate it.  I've seen that happen before, and it is spectacular, but also terrifying.  All of our planning and mental expenditure will have been wasted if Honda's engineers can't handle the job.  I am beginning to wonder if pursuing this plan is the right move.

Adaptation was today's theme, and even now I'm adapting to circumstances.  My logic processors have just told me that my plan is deeply flawed.  It has been made clear to me that I have lost too many brain cells and too much time chasing this mission impossible scenario because of a dare.  The smart course of action here is to acquire a Project One and keep it for AcMo.  An F1 engine in a road car is something we should learn more about for our own purposes.  Understanding how this engine works would take AcMo's tuning well beyond the next three levels.

The questionable styling of the concept car and its unfortunate dorsal fin should be mitigated by the power and handling promised from this package.  I think I could only drive one of these after adding heavy tint to the windows.  I wouldn't want anyone I know to see me driving something I consider to be ugly.  I don't mean so ugly that it becomes cute either.  It is just ugly.  The Project One looks like a car I would design and I can't draw.  It also reminds me of a car one would find in a Need For Speed game.  I don't mean that in a good way.

That helmet isn't being worn for crash safety.

Mercedes-AMG's virtual test driver wears a helmet so no one can see his or her true identity.  I will need to have a privacy canopy that covers the driver's door so I can get out of the car and make it to my destination without being spotted.  This canopy may work for celebrities who are being stalked by paparazzi as well.  I think AcMo may have another new product line! 

Hmm...I've seen those doors somewhere before today.

This is the technology that can propel AcMo to the top.

The second best feature of this concept is its invisible body option.  That is the only thing besides the engine that truly excites me.  An invisible body would make this car difficult to detect using traditional radar and laser guns, and no one will be able to see how ugly it is.  That means unrestricted autobahn speeds wherever, and I won't have to wear a helmet as long as the window tint is compatible with the invisible body.

No.

I am a fan of diffusers and everything they do for airflow, but the rear end of this thing isn't right.  Part of our new plan will be to contact all other Project One owners and offer to restyle their cars for them.  The work will cost an equivalent amount to the purchase price of the car, but when we're finished we'll have a proper looking vehicle.  

My initial thought is that we'll end up with something that looks like this:

Disregard the tape on the front bumper.  It was a long night.

Seeing my proposed design inspiration has caused me to adapt again.  Now I think we'll approach McLaren about building a new (old) road legal McLaren F1 GTR.  Our contacts at BMW can smuggle out a supply of V12 engines for us, which will save on costs and time since we won't have to wait for them to be built.  This new plan is much better than the old ones.  I think this is the best plan I've had all day.  I will continue to research the tech behind the Project One concept's invisible body.  That could be important for AcMo in the future when we move into rum running.